[cannkat]

I'm twelve years old and my mother hasn't really been a big part of my life since she got pregnant with my little brother when I was seven. For third grade, she had a job (she hasn't ever really had a job that I remember, it's always been school, or staying home.) and spent the rest of the time with my little brother. In fourth grade, she was my teacher and the rest of the time she spent with my little brother. The past two years, she's been in law school.

The summer after fifth grade, she brought me to Africa but she was studying abroad, so I was basically stuck in an unfamiliar country with someone who spent all of their time studying, with a TV that played Indian soap operas. It was fun, sure, but that was only on the weekends when her school had trips to different places.

I'm not trying to pin this on my brother, it's not his fault he was born.
This year, whenever she's home, she's either studying, sleeping, or spending time with my brother. It's not like she's home that long.

I have asked her about me going to boarding school for high school and she says no because I should be home with my family, but going to boarding school could possibly strengthen my relationship with my family. AND she's not even a real part of my life.

I'm lost without a motherly figure. Used to be, my teachers were that, but now I go to a cyber school.

Is this going to get worse when she starts to work? I really want, and need, her in my life. Also, she doesn't really value my opinion. At least, it doesn't seem like that.

Please don't tell me to talk to her.

[iuliareb]

Hi, my name is Julia and Im 18. When I was in eighth grade, I was in a similar yet different situation.
My relationship with my mom was pretty bad in that I was dead scared of talking with her because I was afraid that she would judge me. Same as yours ( the scared part) but different ( the judging part)
Anyway, Im going to give you two pieces of advice. One you might thing cheesy or lame, but Im going to givie it to you anyway because it worked.
1) take little steps in trying to get her attention:
- Im sure she still loves you, and cares about your opinion. She actually might be dead scared about talking to you, you never know.
- Let her know you love her. Do little stuff ( like favors, hugging her, errands, saying you love her). These little things will get her attention after a while. She'll start noticing that you love her, and she might open up.
- start small talk. Like talk about random stuff about - her job, stuff that interest her, weather, your life- It'll get you more comfortable talking with her and her with you. And it will open doors for deeper conversation. I know it sounds stupid, but trust me, give it time and effort and you'll see victory.
2) PRAY. I know you may not believe in God. I brought Him up because know for sure he exists. (want proof? Ask me in another question)
Anyway, if your not sure, you'r not losing anything in asking His help. If you don't believe in Him, ask Him to prove Himself by fixing your relationship with your mom. Trust He is big enough for that; or ask Him to prove Himself in some other way. But ask Him. If you are really seeking the truth about His existence, HE WILL ANSWER.
Talk to Him, tell Him why you're sad. I don't know who you are, but I do know that GOD LOVES you and has your issue in His hands. He wants you to believe in Him.
-sorry for the length of my message, I hope it helped at least a little. Will pray for you!

[Catsmine]

How is your relationship with your little brother? You say you don't blame him, but nothing else you wrote says anything about him.

As far as your Mother goes, consider an "I miss you" card as a surprise.

[Fr_Chuck]

Some parents work, some men are truck drivers or work on the river, and are gone all month, only home a short time

In fact most families, today mom works, and is gone, a sister like you would come home from school, fix or start dinner for family and watch baby brother. Till mom or dad comes home.

When they come home, they often do more work.

I am not sure, what you expect but a mother in school and working, has to be busy.

Sounds like she is spending as much time with you, as possible,