[musiclover0217]

I'm 13 and I just found out I'm 3 months pregnant a few weeks ago. I was wondering what's the best way to tell my mom and my boyfriend. And if possible I was also wondering if you could give me some advice

[odinn7]

Hey mom...you know how I think I'm all grown up? Guess what? I'm not as grown up as I thought I was! And....You're gonna be a grandmommy!!!!

But seriously...you better come up with something soon because it's going to get to the point where she can figure it out on her own. You are going to need help with your pregnancy and you can't do it on your own. The baby will need pre-natal care and things that you can't provide. You will need to talk to your mother soon...the sooner the better. There is much in your life that is going to change now.

[teacherjenn4]

Show her your post and then you have your mom call his parents over. You and your boyfriend have a lot to talk about, don't you?

[Homegirl 50]

You just tell her. The boyfriend and his parents need to know as well. You are awfully young, how old is the boy?

[smoothy]

No easy way, but to tell her. Mom can we talk... I'm pregrnant.

Better to do it sooner... she'll be upset, but they longer you wait to tell her, the more upset she is going to be. So now is the time. As was mentioned... she IS going to find out... and trust me... she will... she will be upset you thought you could hide it from her... AND be upset you are pregnant. Sooner is much better to do it than later.

[Fr_Chuck]

Since you need medical care ( very soon) since at 13, delivering a baby, can be serious, and even dangerous. Also, some choices as for as abortion or adoption need to be made.

*** and why did you know know sooner, when you did not have any monthly cycle?

But you tell boyfriend, now, just call and tell him.

Then walk in and either tell mom, or give her a note.
There is no easy or good way, at this age.

[dontknownuthin]

First, you need to tell her immediately if you haven't already since posting this. If you can't bring yourself to tell her on your own, go to your school counselor and ask them to help you talk to your mom, or both your parents if your dad is in the picture.

Be prepared for your mother to (rightfully) be very upset with you. This is a time for you to have a lot of humility (meaning, be humble) and not defensive and not making ANY excuses. The response from you is, "I am very sorry I disappointed you." The WRONG responses would be anything defending the decisions that led you to become pregnant at the age of 13.

I am concerned about this boyfriend - how old is he?

I also agree that at your age, you tell mom FIRST. Then, together, you and mom tell the boyfriend and his parents. If the parents are insulting or whatever, just ignore their remarks - don't let anyone put you on the defensive. If they blame you, whatever. This is very shocking and upsetting news when your kids are so young, and let people be human. Later you can work through the upset with everyone.

You need to be under the care of a very good doctor for high risk pregnancy because, at 13, you are at considerably higher risk than a more mature woman. This doesn't mean you need to be scared that something will be wrong with your baby, but you have to be sure to get very good medical care to make sure both of you stay safe.

I would recommend that you get counseling immediately as well to help you through this experience and to help you make decisions about things like whether you want to continue attending school or if you want to homeschool for a while, and to decide whether your parents will raise the child, or you will seek an abortion (you're running out of time for that option) or whether you will place your baby for adoption. Know that raising the baby yourself isn't even a remote option at this point. The best you can hope for in that regard is if your parents agree to raise the baby and you can be involved, but you are far too young to take full responsibility. If your boyfriend has some grand plan - forget it. They always do until reality hits and the baby gets in the way of his fun.

[Luck0rN0t]

You have some decisions to make and the person who loves you the most and will unconditionally and forever is your mom. You might cry, you might go to the pharmacy and get a pregnancy test and just show her... she will be your best ally and you need her right now. Adoption, abortion, keep the baby... lots of choices that need to be discussed very, very soon. The more you worry and stress about telling her the worse you are making it for yourself. You just have to let her know that you have been sexually active and that you are pretty sure (or that you are sure if you have had a "real" pregnancy test) that you are 3 months along. The sooner the better, then you can move forward. Dwelling on the fear won't help. She will be able to help you tell your boyfriend and/or his parents.

Don't "just show her your post" talk to her, like she's your mom who has loved you since before you were born and still does and always will.

[ScottGem]

the person who loves you the most and will unconditionally and forever is your mom. ... she will be your best ally and you need her right now.

In a normal world that would be true, but you can't be sure. You have no idea what the relationship this poor girl has with her mom or dad. That, when girls this young get pregnant, it is often a result of a dysfunctional home life. Girls turn to boys for the love and affection they miss from their parents. Another indication is the fact that a 13 yr old girl was left unsupervised to the point where she could get pregnant. While we would all like to have parents who do love us unconditionally and support us through anything, the reality is that it isn't always the case. Which makes your response here not very helpful.

To Musiclover; Despite what I said above, you still have to talk to your parents. If you are afraid of how they will react then enlist the aid of a school counselor or clergy. But it MUST be done. And soon. At 13, your body is not fully developed to endure a pregnancy. So a pregnancy represents health risks to you that make it imperative that you be under a doctor's care at least a month ago.

You don't say how you found out. That might help us advise how to approach your mother if you haven't already (and you should have). Please let us know how things are going with you. There are people who care about you.

[musiclover217]

Sorry I had to get a new account so the username is a litte different. I took first response pregnancy test I took at the beginning of the month and end of the month to make sure. For the people that asked the dad of the baby 14 going to turn 15 in two weeks

[J_9]

So, have you told your mom yet?

[musiclover217]

No. I'm to afraid to tell her. I don't exactly have a loving or understanding relationship with my mom

[J_9]

I understand that. It's hard and I'm sorry you are in this position. However, your body isn't done growing and doesn't know how to grow a baby AND a teenager. There are many risks associated with being pregnant at your age. Some can be temporary, yet some can be permanent.

If you are in school, you NEED to talk to a counselor, they can help you approach this with your mother.

Have you decided whether to keep the baby? If so, think about the situation you are in now. At your age you can't afford to have a baby. Will your mother raise it? In most areas it is too late to have an abortion. You now have to think about keeping the child or putting it up for adoption.

[talaniman]

I know you must be very scared, but the longer you wait, the harder things will be on ALL of you.

[musiclover217]

I want to keep the baby, but its highly likely that if I keep the my mom will make me move out

[smoothy]

DO you think she's NOT going to notice? The longer you wait, the more upset she will be because you have not been honest with her from the beginning.

You are in a stituation now that ignoring it is the worst possible thing you can do.

You have to tell her now, its only going to get harder, and its only going to get worse the longer you wait. Adults and particularly parents hate being lied to.

Not telling her is the same thing as lying to her. The best thing to do is tell her today, as was said by others, the sooner you do it, the easier its going to be for everyone. And the longer you wait, the worse it will be... and THEN it will be completely your fault because it was a choice YOU made. And that will be the hardest to live with.

If you have heard of chosing the lesser of two evils. THis is it. Now is the lesser of the evils, the worst will be when she finds out on her own...and she will, its impossible to hide forever....and if you wait until then....if you want her to throw you out....wait, you might get your wish.

Just do it now, it won't be any easier than it is today, night now. Every hour and every day that passes the lie gets worse.

Sorry, but thats reality....adults deal with it every day. You played adult games,now you have to live with adult consequences...and your choices, good or bad will effect your unborn child. Failing to tell your mother so you can get the needed prenatal care can adversely affect your unborn baby. So you see, you aren't just hurting yourself...but you are hurting your baby too.

Sorry, but there is no other way.....there is no "easy" way out of this. Its up to you how much trouble you plan on causing by not doing the more mature thing and telling her now. Kiss your teen years goodbye....you have to start acting like an adult now because you won't have a choice but be one as well as a parent too.

[musiclover217]

I'm getting ready to tell my mom right now. To smoothy; I don't want to get kicked out. And the only reason I slept my boyfriend was because... he pressured me. He say nothing bad would happen that I was to young to be pregnant. And being an idiot I believed him

[smoothy]

I understand what you are afraid of. She will be MORE likely to do that later when she finds out on her own, than she will be now if you tell her sooner.

In reality however... if she does throw you out... while you are under 18. I'd go to the nearest police station and let them know. You never mention father... so I assume he doesn't live with you. One of them would have to take you in until you turn 18. Then all bets are off once you are.

As far as the numbnutz that got you pregnant. Please go after him for child support. Do it through the court, don't do it informally where nothing can be enforced. You will need every dime of it to raise the child. You will run up considerable medical expenses BEFORE the child is born as well. Its clear his own stupidity played a big part in this so he should not be left off the hook for the next 18+ years of child raising costs (most states its 18, its 21 in a few others). It not all on you, he shares a big part in this too. Yes they can and will make him pay. At least once he turns 18, and if he still owes money that debt never goes away until he pays you what he was ordered to pay you in full....no matter how old your child might be when he does.

[musiclover217]

How do you know all this. My mom is giving me till Sunday to find somewhere else to stay. And as for my BF he said he would help me, should I believe him.

[Homegirl 50]

Your boyfriend is 14 and he thought you weren't to young yo get pregnant. Your mom needs to talk to his mom. At 13 your mom cannot just kick you out. Speak with a counselor at your school.