[ashley9922]

People have said to me in the past.. youre so beautiful.. why are you single? Or I bet you can get any guy you want, the guy that gets you is lucky.. however its very different for someone who is pretty- guys NEVER ask me out and men are usually very mean to me rude abusive etc. I'm really laid back down to earth and I never dress up I just happen to be beautiful. For being 'beautiful' men basically treat me like dirt. I don't get greeted by cashiers- males just give me bad attitudes most of the time, angry dirty looks. Dates are REALLY rude to me.. lately dates have been acting crazy, getting in my space too.. in different ways. If I ask them nicely.. if they can not do that because it gives me anxiety, they do it more angrily. Its almost as if they want me to leave or are pushing me to leave. I've had dates just ditch me after seeing me. I'm also super nice and respectful and treat everyone with respect yet I get disrespected badly. I went to several concerts- one the date was so bad, pointing in my face, getting in my space.. he'd yell in my ear on purpose loudly when I was watching the show just to be a jerk. In the end I asked him to please stop.. and he kept doing it more--it's as if they just go psycho. He picked up another girl and was talking to her and didn't act that way around her.

Another date I went to a concert with last week.. same thing.. he began acting crazy/weird getting in my space, crazy hand gestures in my space.. I almost wanted to ditch him and just be on my own. In the end he was almost 'chasing' me to my car.. it was weird and acting really weird.. finally, after he left I texted him and asked him why he was acting so weird and getting in my space.. he said.. im sorry it's a nervous tick.. I didn't know you'd be so good looking.. I got nervous.. whatever that means.. ok so if a woman is good looking you want to aggravate and mistreat her.. huh? I don't get it.. another date too lately.. some of these jreks cant be around me 5 minutes without mistreating me.. he was talking with his hands 'a lot' suddenly doing hand gestures but RIGHT in my face.. he'd put his hands across the table INTO my space inches away.. it was too much. I was starting to feel anxious and told him.. he rudely said "oh do you have anxiety"? I'm thinking no? You're in my space.. almost trying to make me seem as if it's 'me.' He then said he talked with his hands.. and he's charismatic.. lol? Really.. that is BS... he wasn't talking with his hands he was intruding my space.. and didn't care. Then he litearlly said "this isnt going to work out..i cant change who i am b/c of you." really? This is ludicrous.. he said "charismatic speakers talk with their hands." um yes in front of groups of people not one on one on DATES in other people's FACES... this loser was a real creep... almost acting as if I was the problem rather than not getting out of my space.. he had no right.. he even said 'well you can leave if you want." im thinking..he's on a date with a kind pretty girl and he wants to disrepsect her this way? horrible...

ive hung out with doctors, lawyers..literally most educated people i hang out with...do not behave this way. many of my friends are doctors, lawyers, engineers nurses. my siblings are all doctors...or just normal people...these dates are crazy and these males are crazy...they literally act crazy around me, justify it, abuse me then are glad when i leave. its almost as if they want to annoy me make me upset..so they can say "oh yeah She's a B*TCH"? they literally mistreat me to a point where either i have to voice my opinion or just leave. this date even said 'well you're beautiful." and he seemed uncomfortable around me and asked me if I was nervous when in reality HE was nervous.. everytime a date is nervous they always try to project it onto me.. by asking if I'm nervous... usually when someone asks me if I'm nervous its ironic.. they ALWAYS end up being a jerk or treating me badly or oddly... its kind of a red flag... I just don't get their crazy attitudes.. are they insecure? Screwed up? It seems to be happening a lot with losers I meet online... or just males in general at stores or places. I'm actually scared of most men now because their behavior is so backwards... you'd think they'd think... wow a beautiful nice female... I have a chance with her... no it's like... hey how can we treat her like dirt and get her to leave... really sick weird people...

I read somewhere that many men hate seeing attractive women and think of it as a tease... ive also read that people like to bully attractive people because they think they get whatever they want. I get this feeling too, that many people bully me because they think... oh she can get wahtever she wants, well IM not going to kiss her a** or give it to her--so they treat me opposite. The sad thing is is 99% of people treat you this way--then all you do is get bullied... for being a pretty woman... I cant get a boyfriend, can barely get a date and just get abused... most men abuse me hoping I'll leave and I take it until I finally leave... as if they want me to leave rather than reject me because they fear I'll reject them... it's sick and twisted... I don't get it anymore and can't figure out a way to deal with it. I am also super nice and entertaining on dates--in the past I would entertain the dates because literally make looked like they wanted to leave the minute they saw me because they were intimidated or scared... the males are usually rude to me. Nowadays I'm just nice and polite... and personable... and again usually they're very rude treat me in a derogatory way or get in my space.. many of these males don't even want sex... literally they just want to abuse me that's it.. like an ego trip or something... I also sense that they abuse me because they don't want to be my 'slave' they feel as if I have power over them... I read that too somewhere that men say a pretty girl has power over them, so in turn they abuse me to push me away because they don't want to be 'under my spell' though I don't have a spell or do anything to have guys into me...

[ashley9922]

oh yeah a lot of dates will say "you seem nervous..are you scared"?? When they say that.. they are ALWAYS projecting how they feel onto me. Its like they're trying to take away their nervousness and how they feel away from them.. and try to make me feel as if something's wrong with me. Normally I say no? But now I say.. im not are you? Or I'm not, but you seem nervous.. b/c now I know they are. Because now I know it's a defense mechanism these idiots are using... after many bad dates.. usually these 'nervous' jerks end up being rude to me in some way or screwing me over on purpose.. so next time someone asks me that I should just leave... the twistedness present in many of these males is surprising... the fact that they project their own issues onto a random date, mistreat a date for being pretty, try to get a pretty female to leave by disrespecting her... something is very wrong with many of the males out there in the dating world... if not using these tactics many will use flat out manipulation tactics in the craziest ways to try to have power over control dominate manipulate or be jerks... many don't even want sex they literally just want the thrill of dominating rejecting abusing or mistreating a female because it makes them feel better about themselves...

[odinn7]

So here's a few things....in that post of yours, you mention how beautiful, attractive, pretty, nice, and kind....WAY too much. Then you make a point to mention how you don't even have to do anything to be beautiful, you just are. So maybe...just maybe...since you seem to be very stuck on all of that, maybe you are projecting this all the time and it comes off as snobby or self-centered. Is that possible?

Also, you talk about meeting losers online. Maybe you should stop meeting people online. Perhaps you also need to pick a different type of guy. I know many beautiful, attractive, pretty, nice, and kind women often go for the wrong type of guy and wind up with a butt-hole simply because they want to be seen with a beautiful, attractive, and handsome guy.

[ashley9922]

NO once again I am NOT stuck on being beautiful... omg I get treated this way because I'm beautiful... that makes NO sense at all.. yes I have to describe it in words... I mean.. that is a really stupid thing to say... its important to describe the fact that I am be eautiful because THIS is the key reason I end up having to deal with all this mistreatment... ALL the time.. it is based on LOOKS and other people's issue with it... I don't care about looks or focus on them... hence the reason I don't even dress up... im way too laid back and down to earth... many people even see that I'm LAID back and men will say it but they don't care because they are too intimidated by me because I'm pretty... and no that doesn't make someone snobby... if someone possesses something that others are bothered by they are bothered by that one thing... and I meet guys online for first dates I don't even know what kind of people these are and if I'm complaining about first dates being JERKS obviously I don't go for jerks... that makes no sense at all..i also grew up in the grunge era...so i am more of a hippy type though i dont show it but that's who i am inside..so yeah being snobby lol um nope..im down to earth cool and most men will even say im really nice and that's the reason they take advantage of me..b/c i am nice and beautiful and im NOT stuck up or b*tchy..theyre used to pretty women being b*tches and since im not its their chance to now abuse a pretty woman...or have power over her...many pretty women are totally stuck up b*tches..they can be bossy mean controlling etc..or have attitudes. they would probably look at most of those dates and just ditch them... im not only pretty but im really nice and laid back and i look nice too...these men know im nice..that's why they think they can get away with their bad treatment of me..but i still dont get their need to dominate me the way they do...it's crazy...actually im just like any other normal female. i dress conservative...jeans whatever. except i dont even wear make up. im just average...i dress average. i just HAPPEN to be beautiful and b/c i am..all hell breaks loose wherever i go simply b/c im pretty..im even petite and i dont get the deal with it. its just that if you are that people will have crazy reactions and treatments towards you and usually its not good. i went to a restaurant in NY once and the waiters were all like staring at me...adn my sister male friends said 'well we came for her"...like in a joke..but wtf? personality wise and who i am inside...just normal down to earth..can be funny but for the most part..deal with a lot of sh*t just b/c im a beautiful woman..im also not 'that' pretty so i dont get what the deal is...there are plenty of beautiful women out there...but literally people seem to make an issue out of me and it's stupid and weird...i could write a book about it and probably will one day but i still don't get why men are so terrified and confused and freaked out and act crazy and rude and weird..

even at the concert where the guy told me im good looking...im surprised as i looked really bad. i was wearing baggy jeans..my hair was even greasy..in fact i thought i was pretty repulsive..its surprising that even when i don't look good men are intimidated by my beauty which i think is weird...so even if i dress average to bad and dont look very good theyre still treating me weird b/c im pretty...i didnt focus on my looks...HE DID and ruined the whole date b/c of it...many guys even abuse me after seeing my picture..which to me is average but some will just act crazy...they'll say..tha'ts not you or that's fake..or oh youre beautiful...or something..or they'll start yelling at me and calling me names...they're crazy idiots and have issues with pretty women..

[odinn7]

So it was stupid for me to say what I said? You asked for help, I told you what I thought, and now what I thought was stupid? LOL... After you go out of your way to make a point of how nice and respectful you are, you call me stupid for answering you. Yes, you seem very nice and respectful.

And sure, sure...I get that you had to tell us how awesome you look in order to get the point across but in this thread you have mentioned how beautiful you are about 10 times, how pretty you are at least 7 times, and how nice you are around 6 times. Telling us once or twice how great you look would have worked but you mentioned it all over and over and over again so this is why I said that perhaps you come off as snobby or something since you seem overly focused on these ideas.

But, whatever. I'm stupid, you're beautiful, pretty, nice and respectful so you don't want to hear any more answers from me. Maybe someone that isn't as stupid as me will come along and help you out and solve your life problems.

Take care.

Edit- And I see that you have modified your posts but I'm not going to read them to see what you changed.

[Fr_Chuck]

You are being treated that way, because you pick losers to date.

But then, honestly, it appears you are so stuck on yourself, that any man would soon get tired of hearing how wonderful and beautiful you are.

If men are dating you, only for looks, that is the real issue

[J_9]

You may think you are beautiful, but the attitude you showed here is pure ugly.

You should find a man who adores himself as much as you seem to adore yourself.

[Oliver2011]

Generalize much?

I was going to comment more, but J-9 has said all that needed to be said.

[smoothy]

I think the others said it well... men don't like rude, self obsessed women any more than women like rude, self obsessed men. Well actually I think women actually do like that type more based on the sheer numbers that apparently PICK that type to date among all of the ones out there.

Sorry, but while I do not consider myself an Adonis... more than a few women say I'm decent looking, and have aged exceptionally well.

I still prefer and allways have preferred an average looking woman with a charming , pleasant disposition, to a Beauty Queen who is as shallow as a sidewalk water puddle after a rain.

Hate to tell you. It sounds like you are getting exactly what you are advertizing for. Sound like you are getting people with the same bad attitude you yourself seem to have in abundence.

Also speaking as a guy....I've walked out on more than a few self obsessed women in my lifetime....I've even done it when I knew I was about to get laid. Because I have a concience...I'm not going to sleep with someone I had no intention of seeing again.

What is that old saying... Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone?

[odinn7]

She's not going to like what any of you said so I think you're all as stupid as I am...and I was trying to be nice.

[smoothy]

I don't think so either odinn7... but she needs to hear it anyway and make an effort to see the error of her ways.. Hopefully before she gets much older and what outer beauty she might have fades. Life is going to get really depressing for her if she doesn't heed the warning, because it is going to take time and a sincere desire to mend her ways.

[J_9]

We ARE stupid Odinn because we aren't as beautiful as she is. Sheesh!

[talaniman]

Make better choices in the men you date and likely the results will be better. One's livelihood is often the foundation of friends and activities, and social life so why you keep dating these losers is a mystery. Are you a professional, or do you work for professionals? What do you do for a living?

You paint a pretty picture of yourself, but no substance of what your life is about so I can only suggest you change the way you date. Or screen your dates a lot better before you date them.

Get to know someone before you hangout with them or "date" them, then you probably will have better experiences or outcomes. I don't think this is about YOUR beauty, but more about YOUR methods.

How old are you?

[Cat1864]

While you accuse the men of projecting their feelings on you, you are doing a lot of projecting your thoughts and feelings on them. You accuse them of being intimidated by your beauty, but it really seems that you are insecure and it shows more than you realize.

You sound like you are intimidated by other people. You are insecure and it comes out in you inability to handle yourself in social settings. I think these men are trying to get your attention because your attention is elsewhere. I am not certain if it is looking for flaws in the men or making certain that you notice everyone supposedly looking at you (or not looking at you) because of your beauty. You seem to be trying to put people on the defensive instead of attempting to put them at ease. It would make it easier to blame the men instead of looking at your own actions and behavior.

People get nervous when they go out with someone new. They want to make a good impression and it makes them even more nervous. They do things they normally wouldn't such as talk more with their hands or get closer than they realize. Sometimes where the date is occurring can affect behavior. A loud, crowded concert is not a good place to get to know someone. It is a date you go on with someone you already know you want see again. Are you unconsciously setting the dates up to be failures?

You talk about hanging out with doctors, etc. and having no problems. What are your expectations at those times? How do you behave at those times?

Cashiers can be rude to anyone. It doesn't have to be about your looks. If anything it has more to do with your attitude. Do you smile? Do you seem open to saying 'hello' or are you looking distant, closed off, standoffish?

Do people really stare at you as much as you think or is your own insecurity making you feel like they are?

[J_9]

Regardless, the OP seems to be very rude and condescending. I know many people who talk with their hands. Some would be speechless if they had their arms amputated!

Concerts are loud. To be able to have a conversation one must be close, within personal space, and hand gestures assist in the communication process.

The issue here is that the OP is projecting preconceived notions on to the people she is dating.

She came on pretty strong here telling us how beautiful and wonderful she is, and that came off a bit to strong and intimidating. It made us look at her as very self-centered and arrogant.

The one thing I have come to realize over my short 50 years on this planet is that people who get into our personal space are actually interested in us. They aren't trying to annoy us on purpose, they are really interested in us and feel comfortable with us, and beauty doesn't play a part.

Re-reading this, I think the OP may have some self-esteem issues that are not recognized at this point in time.

[aliseaodo]

...someone who is pretty....I just happen to be beautiful.....just ditch me after seeing me..... with a kind pretty girl....
....wow a beautiful nice female....for being a pretty woman....I am also super nice and entertaining....mistreat a date for being pretty....try to get a pretty female to leave by disrespecting her.....because I'm beautiful....because I'm pretty....i am nice and beautiful....im not only pretty but im really nice and laid back and i look nice too....i just HAPPEN to be beautiful....b/c im pretty..im even petite ....im a beautiful woman....men are intimidated by my beauty....b/c im pretty

YIKES!! Holy Macaroni. This is how many time you have mentioned - no - proclaimed how attractive you are in your post, and I'm sure I missed a few. Are you sure you're not stuck on yourself? Two other questions - 1) you grew up in the 'grunge' era - so that puts you in you early 30's? 2) Is English your first language? I find some of your word choices and phrasing odd...

[Oliver2011]

To quote Hamlet (I think it was Hamlet) "The lady doth protest too much, methinks".

Sometimes when someone says things so many times, the opposite is true.