[Lilianrc33]

Hi everyone! I was hoping to have your opinion on this matter I am really trying to figure out..

I am engaged with a wonderful guy we both are 28 and have known each other for 1.5 years now... I am really exited and have almost everything for our wedding house, dress... The thing is he is having doubts about us and I have tried everything to make things better but he seems not to care... I come looking for him and ignores me when I ask what is wrong he sais I have forgotten our relationship since we were engaged (3 months now) and have not been supportive concerning his job. But to me these reasons are not that big to cancel everything...

I know he is a really angry person and gets mad at me over small things like not answering mi cel or forgetting we where supposed to have breakfast together... He once slamed his front door and his car door and I got scared and when straight home. He was then begging me to come back to his place in the middle of the night... He is also jealous he once arrived unannounced to my place cause he was sure I was with some else... when we walk down the street he argues I look at other men but really don't and I swears I am cheating on him and so have problems when he sees me online on whatsapp or Facebook.. I have never given him any reason to believe that... When he gets mad he talks to me in a way that really hurts me... We have talked about his anger issues and has improved but he keeps saying it is my fault when he gets angry and I have tried my best to please him... I have sex with him when he wants even if I'm not into it so he doesn't get mad. Whenever I say I don't want sex he tells me he doesn't understand why I have been with other guys but can't or won't be with him right now... He had a really hard time accepting my past when I really like the person he is right now and wouldn't change anything in his past because that is what made him the person he is... He tells me I push him and talk to him in a way he doesn't like and now I habe think what to say and how to act so he doesn't get offended..

He now blames me for everythin and I don't undesrtand what I have done to him that is so bad... I have tried to hug him and tell him to go pray together but tells me that praying makes him weak and tells me everything I stop doing some other girl will be happy to do for him... He sais I lied to him about who I was because since we got engaged I changed... That I am like a car he bougt and when he used it realized was broken... I really don't know if I should keep trying or how to make him see I really like him and I am really sorry if put my attention in our wedding instead of him... It really hurts me when he ignores me when I try to make things better and I seem to be unable to make his anger go away he is mad like I cheated on him or donne something really awfull...

[smoothy]

If you don't RUN the other direction you are a fool. He has anger managaement issues and will be an abusive spouse. It doesn't get better, it gets worse... much , much worse. And thats on top of his being a control freak.

There are much better guys out there...in fact most of them are.

I haven't heard ONE wonderful thing about him.....but I see a lot of horrible ones.

[Lilianrc33]

Well we have had really good times togheter and he si smart, funny... I think all the good memories we shared make me stay

[smoothy]

You do know when verbally abusing you isn't enough he will start physically abusing you. That frequently ends with someone dead eventually. And always with someone physically beaten and sometimes hospitalized.

He will never wake up one day and be a changed man. Don't expect that to ever happen... it won't. Nobody should ever put up with an abusive partner... and its not always the man that does it... sometimes the woman is the abuser.

Advice is the same either way... leave them and find someone who doesn't have an inclination to abuse those who are closest to them. You can't fix him.

Nothing he can say or do makes up for the abusive part of him.

[Jake2008]

There is no cure for this relationship you are in.

It is so one sided, I can't believe you cannot see that.

You have lost yourself in his needs and wants, and accept fault for every wrong thing he thinks and says about you.

Talking about his anger issues, or praying together about his anger issues, will not change this man into a person without some serious anger issues. He needs counseling at the very, very minimum.

Marriage is not a magic wand, that when done, changes the people who are now married. Everything will be exactly the same, and will more likely than not get much worse.

You have described a man who is typical of being abusive and controlling. I wouldn't be surprised if there aren't other issues like substance abuse going on. People like him, are never happy.

My advice to you is to forget about a marriage to this man. I recommend that you get counseling yourself, without him, and bring your post with you to get a jump start on a therapist's understanding of your situation.

You are heading for more trouble than you can imagine, without an understanding of how ignorant you are of controlling, abusive, angry people like your fiancé. Think twice, and get some face to face counseling before you choose to marry him, and start having babies.

[talaniman]

You have been ignoring so many red flags about his nature and character that I feel you should cancel the wedding and engagement and take a more objective DEEPER look into the man you have attached yourself to.

I feel he may be dangerous after you are married, and think he has enough charms now, but his true nature will be revealed after the wedding and it will be too late to change things. If every bad thing he says or does is your fault NOW, how will he punish you later?

RUN!!