[loverboy10101]

This is a long story but please take the time to read it. I need help. I'm 20 and I just got out of a 2 year relationship. I wasn't happy. My ex was the exact opposite of what I wanted but stayed to try and make it work. It ended. 2 months later I go to Panera with my friends for the first time ever and the most beautiful girl I have ever seen was behind the register. I couldn't think about the menu I was so nervous. It was my turn to order and I got some salad because that's what my friend got and when she asked me to sign the receipt I kidding said no and she couldn't help but smile. After we sat down my friends were like she was totally checking you out so when we left I walked over asked what she recommended for dessert and after buying some muffin said that I thought she was so beautiful, asked if she was eyeing anybody, and got her number. I walked away forgetting the muffin and she laughed and handed it to me and when I was walking away made that high pitch excited noise girls do when they get excited. LOL.

Fast forward a few days after texting a bit and setting up a date I ask her to smoke and go see fireworks with me. I pick her up and she is stunning in a baseball cap, red flannel, yogas, and converses, with her gorgeous smile and blonde hair. We went to the mall and smoked a bowl and then made our way to the stadium to see fireworks. I had 2 Arizonas and some trail mix in a bag pulled them out and she said those were her favorite snacks and drink. I pulled out a blanket from the back seat to sit on the grass with and she thought it was the cutest thing in the world. We sat on the grass in the light rain talking backs to the fireworks and not even caring we were both having an amazing time. She sat right next to me holding my leg and cuddling me. I ended up taking her to a hill where when you get to the top you see the city skyline and the sky is lit up with stars. It was perfect we couldn't stop talking all night, there were sparks in the air I could totally feel it, we had so much in common, too much to go into. On the hill she hugged me and said I give amazing hugs and I literally wasn't even giving her a good hug! I gave her a good hug and lifted her chin up with my finger and kissed her and we kissed for a minute or so and started to walk down the hill and she grabs my hand and we walk down the hill.

After we drive back to her house we decide to go to my buddys house where we smoked again and went for a walk and she was holding my hand and had a huge smile and she had been smiling all night and my buddy and his girlfriend told me whenever I was talking she couldn't help but smile and they said her eyes glowed when I looked at her. I saw the glow too when I kissed her. Now I told her earlier I have scared girls off before and when she asked how I said I don't know if I come on too strong or if I'm too nice or what the only reason I ever got was it was too easy to be with me and she asked what kind of answer is that and laughed. Told her I'm honest and speak what's on my mind and told her all I could think about was that she's perfect and she said I'm not I have flaws. I replied with your flaws are what make you you, and you're just perfectly imperfect and that when I used to describe my dream girl to my friends its like I was describing her. She said that's the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to her and smiled so big I couldn't believe it. I drop her off and give her a kiss goodnight and she says text her. The next morning I sent a good morning text and she replied a few hours later saying she just woke up and the plans we made for that day wouldn't work because her friend just showed up to help her unpack from moving. I wasn't mad, we made plans for the next day then flirted around she she sent me kiss faces and was calling me a cutie. But I had gotten her flowers so I asked about her schedule for the week and she said she was free after work the next day so I made plans to see her at 5:30. I work nights and work 5 minutes away from her house.

At work I'm texting her and about to go to lunch at 2 am and asked her to stay awake until then, I wanted to surprise her with the flowers thinking it would be something sweet to do. She fell asleep and I didn't give them to her. The next day at 5:30 I text her and no reply. 6 I still get no reply after texting her again. I drive to her house and knock on the door asking if she was there and the man said no he hasn't seen her (she lives with a coworker and he was her coworkers son) so I thought oh maybe she's working late and originally I said I'd pick her up from work so I went to her work and bought a drink and asked the guy if she was there and he said no we let her go early. I had been completely left hanging. So I put the flowers in a water bottle and wrote her a note explaining how I don't know what happened but honestly I had an amazing night and had these flowers for her (we talked about believing everything happens for a reason the other night) and I put I believe the reason I ended up at Panera was because I was supposed to meet her and that I like her I really like her and that I'd like to see her again. And that I can't explain it but it felt so right being next to her. I left the note and flowers by the door and went to work annoyed I got ditched but thought she would think I was sweet for getting her flowers and writing her a little note.

Nope not what happened. I texted her at like midnight asking what happened that day and she replied she likes the flowers but isn't looking for a relationship and thinks its weird I showed up to her house without texting or calling her first. Now I know I totally texted her twice and I don't think its weird to show up to someone's house when you had plans to pick her up at her house an hour earlier, I thought maybe her phone was off or something. I replied saying I don't believe that at all. I saw the look in her eyes and felt the sparks and know she did too and that she was happy she was really happy that night and she said it was a perfect night and wanted to see me again. I think your scared and don't know how to handle it but I believe everything happens for a reason and I was supposed to meet you and you made me happier in those 7 hours than I was in those past 2 years. I'm not just going to take that answer. That I'd fight for her to see I'm the one she's been looking for. She replied too much to read. So I shortened it up and said I felt the magic and know she did too I could see it on her face and in her eyes and that I thought I was falling for her and never expected to meet someone so amazing so fast and I wouldn't go down without a fight, she's like I went on one date with you what's your ing problem. Next text was from her saying its her ex back off her girl. Now I'm already pissed and instead of keeping calm and thinking I replied the you going to do "he" said beat your ing I said try me meet me here you know where I work. ( I knew the kid in hs and she knows I knew him) now I cooled off half and hour later and apologized saying I'm sorry I'm going through the transition of a long term relationship and never expected to meet someone who could make me feel so happy and I was sorry for making her feel weird and uncomfortable I didn't mean too.

Now I know I F'ed up and came on too strong and looked like a total creep going to her house and her work but in those moments I wasn't thinking how it could look. My head was in the clouds and I didn't think I could scare her off if I hadn't already. I thought she really liked the cute and thought she would think it was sweet but no. I'm just wondering if anyone thinks there's any chance I could fix it up with her and get another chance. I'm ready to accept the fact I screwed it up with the girl of my dreams and maybe I wasn't ready to meet her but I learned what I really wanted and that I need to play it cool next time.

Anyone with actual advice please give it I need to know if there is any chance I could get another shot with her I don't want to roll over and walk away if there's any chance at all

[Homegirl 50]

You are way too intense. Texting late at night, sending flowers. All of that would have creeped me out too. You don't even know her.

[Oliver2011]

"She replied too much to read." Amen to that. Have you heard of paragraphs?

Dude honestly, this is creepy. If I was the girl's father, brother, ex, minister, teacher, etc I would advise her never to speak to you. Stalking obsessive behaviors are not only not attractive, they are threatening. Good for her that she doesn't want anything to do with you.

Now learn from this and don't do this again.

[smoothy]

Paragraphs, sentenses and puctuation are your friend... I can't even read most of that as it is. And I tried a few times.

What I did read was enough for me to understand why she was creeped out. And a lot of things can't be undone. You barely even know her, its foolish to even think she's the girl of your dreams....It takes years to learn enough about someone to know if they are or not.

Ever hear the term drama queen?

[talaniman]

Leave her alone because a second chance is up to her, and when you screw up royally as you have an apology is seldom enough. Big difference between fighting for love and fighting the one you love, and that's what you did.

Wait a few weeks and text her, and see what she says but be entirely prepared to leave her alone forever if she rejects you again. Sorry you had to learn the hard way that thinking before you act or speak is the way to go. Never forget that. If not with her, then with the next romantic adventure. Impulsive and out of control is CREEPY.

[tickle]

I think you had better back off and forget this one buddy. She is totally not into, it appears, guys who stalk her and text her at all hours of the night and day, show up at her door, show up at her work. Nope.

[joypulv]

ONE date and you are saying 'That I'd fight for her to see I'm the one she's been looking for.'?
Where do you get the idea that any one person gets to decide what someone else is looking for? Yes, you are creepy.
There's something else - for some reason you think total strangers want to know that you drank some Arizona and she was wearing red flannel and on and on and on and ON. 80% of your post was fluff and irrelevant. That in itself is creepy. You apparently are out of high school, but talk like a 14 year old. You also have pie in the sky notions of things that are 'meant to be.' People can have sparks, and can share interests, and can find each other attractive, and still not work out. In fact most don't work out, because other things are missing or make us uncomfortable.

What makes me most uncomfortable about you is your notion that you think you can show her what to think and feel, even though you sort of mask it as the notion that you are uncovering what is already there and she just has to acknowledge it. STOP THAT or your entire life will be a long and miserable string of the same thing.
That's really just a variation on the old fashioned notion that women say no when they mean yes. And that's going to land you in jail these days.

[Fr_Chuck]

I will be blunt, and a little cruel... I wasted my time, actually reading all of this... Yes, the term Drama Queen is really coming to mind..

All of this detail on a person, after a few texts and one date.

You did flowers, late night message, went to her house.
If there is not a restraining order, I would be surprised..
She knew you messaged, you wait... maybe a few days.

Perhaps she liked you, but you were smoking too many bowls, to release she was not into you that much.

Perhaps, she had just wanted a jump in bed, and you did not follow though.

Perhaps, she already had someone, and you were just a fun evening out.

The issue I, you were not waiting, to find out.

You forget this one, and move on, with some temper

[smoothy]

Now that a moderator cleaned up the post and made it legible with actual paragraphs... its far worse than I thought. Nope, this is beyond fixing.

I see a lot of drug use. I see someone who thinks he's being considerate when he's actually being very inconsiderate. Texting at all hours of the night when people that work during the day like to do something we call sleep. Otherwise it affects how we are able to function during the next day. And its really irritating when people try to deprive us of it to suit their own selfish wants and needs.

You don't force people to see things your way... people find that very creepy and inconsiderate.

People don't like visistors popping in unannounced at the jobs... particularly when they have low level jobs... it causes problems with their supervisors and managers because they are beign paid do work, not socialize.

Also... as was pointed out by others... you are going to find yourself on the wrong end of a lawsuit, restraining order... or criminal stalking case if you don't learn right now... that no, means no... it doesn't mean maybe... it certainly doesn't mean keep at it in some desperate hope that you can pressure her to do what you want.

I'm actually surprised you had a relationship that's lasted 2 years before, most women I've known in my life and in a number of different countries would have run away screaming.

Give up smoking dope... dial the volume back from maximum back to about 1... don't intrude on others space... show up unannounced at their home or job until your dated them for a few years... and even then, learn to show some discretion, and for once... restraint.

SHe's a lost cause at this point... some things go beyond being fixable by a simple apology. This is one of them. She saw your true colors, and very few women would find that appealing. I haven't met any in 53 years that would, but I imagine there are a coupe out there someplace.

Learn from this mistake, take steps to break bad habits... and understand while confidence is a good thing... too much of it and it becomes arrogance. Nobody finds arrogance appealing.

[Homegirl 50]

Texting people all hours of the night, showing up at their house and work after one date is way too creepy. Maybe all that smoking had you seeing things that weren't there.
She says she does not want a relationship with you. Take her at her word and leave her alone.

[smearcase]

I am mostly from the last millennium so my comments may be out of date, but you got my attention when the first thing you offered her was "... setting up a date I ask her to smoke and go see fireworks with me." Maybe that is OK nowadays, but I agree as Chuck said- "Perhaps she liked you, but you were smoking too many bowls, to release she was not into you that much."

Maybe you were just too "cute/cool/groovy/hip" for your own good.