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    nikkib123's Avatar
    nikkib123 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 30, 2014, 04:45 PM
    Work place Bullying
    I started in a new HR position in a very large company. I found out that one the who trained me also applied for the job but did not get it. Long story short, I noticed that she left things out of my training. She has turned pretty much the whole office against me, and I don't feel that I can go to my HR manager because I feel that he will justify her behavior in some way. What can I do.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jun 30, 2014, 05:20 PM
    You can not go... because you think>>>

    Read that and see how silly it sounds. Also, one person can not turn an entire work place against you. They can make you feel out of place, because you are new.

    You just talk to people, be friendly and go to the manager. You are not even giving the manager a chance to be professional and do their job.

    If you are not able to work within the system, then to be honest, part of the problem is you, and being scared to even try and work in a system
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Jun 30, 2014, 05:24 PM
    Either learn how to let it go... or start looking for another job.

    Starting even looking like a whiner is going to reflect badly upon you... as will blaming them for anything you can't do, or do wrong.

    Honeslty... its YOUR job, you are responsible for your own actions and behaviour... that should be obvious to anyone who has held a job. Also NO training is going to cover EVERYTHING. And that's speaking from experience of had untold training courses, no I can't even guess within 200 how many its been over the last 33 years and 7 employers.

    I really NEED to ask this. Is this your first job?
    nikkib123's Avatar
    nikkib123 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 30, 2014, 06:11 PM
    I think my fear is that being the new person I want to fix every thing on mymy own before I contact management. I have expressed concern about my training but nothing was done. This person has even gone as far as to tell another co work that I've gone around accusing them of stealing. It is quite juvenile and up to this point I have taken it. I've walked in the hallway and heard her say "She shouldn even be in this job, I should be." I feel her frustration but I don't think that I deserve to be treated this way. So I came here to get help not to be insulted. I have gone out of my way to be nice to this person and it is clear that she does not want me around. I just need advice not insults. Thanks
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #5

    Jun 30, 2014, 06:21 PM
    Prepare a speech for her. Next time she is helping you, stand up and in a loud voice that several people can hear (but not really yelling) say 'Look, I got hired for the job you wanted, I get it. Don't punish me for it, and stop spreading lies.'

    If she is going around saying what you overheard, then anyone with half a brain will realize what is going on.

    If you do get to the point of telling someone higher up, keep it to ONE SENTENCE, such as 'Is there someone who can train me who didn't expect to get the job herself and is sabotaging my entire training?'
    Managers do not want to hear gripes. Every situation is a test. Your job is to deal with her.
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
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    #6

    Jun 30, 2014, 06:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nikkib123 View Post
    I think my fear is that being the new person I want to fix every thing on mymy own before I contact management. I have expressed concern about my training but nothing was done. This person has even gone as far as to tell another co work that I've gone around accusing them of stealing. It is quite juvenile and up to this point I have taken it. I've walked in the hallway and heard her say "She shouldn even be in this job, I should be." I feel her frustration but I don't think that I deserve to be treated this way. So I came here to get help not to be insulted. I have gone out of my way to be nice to this person and it is clear that she does not want me around. I just need advice not insults. Thanks
    Well, it sounds like you have it all figured out. Apparently you are not getting any cooperation so you may need to seek employment else where. Cat fights are hard to change unless one is removed or leaves. Good Luck.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #7

    Jun 30, 2014, 06:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nikkib123 View Post
    I think my fear is that being the new person I want to fix every thing on mymy own before I contact management. I have expressed concern about my training but nothing was done. This person has even gone as far as to tell another co work that I've gone around accusing them of stealing. It is quite juvenile and up to this point I have taken it. I've walked in the hallway and heard her say "She shouldn even be in this job, I should be." I feel her frustration but I don't think that I deserve to be treated this way. So I came here to get help not to be insulted. I have gone out of my way to be nice to this person and it is clear that she does not want me around. I just need advice not insults. Thanks
    Where were you Insulted?

    You got lots of advice from people who have been in a lot of jobs for a lot of years and have all seen and dealt with a number of different HR departments, styles as well as corporate cultures.


    But seriously now... its time you grew a much thicker skin... being thin skinned in MOST companies is going to directly lead to a very short career there.

    First rule of adulthood... you can't MAKE anyone like you... and if you do anything to them you justify their dislike in you... and actually give them very good reasons to dislike you and even use against you. And they probibly WILL use it against you. Particularly if you are in the HR Dept.

    You never did say if this is your first job or not... because it actually does matter... because in your tone and words... you appear very inexperienced in the workplace.
    nikkib123's Avatar
    nikkib123 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jun 30, 2014, 07:24 PM
    Please explain to me how my tone and words sound inexperienced? I asked for advice. And no this is not my first job.
    Wesleyrey's Avatar
    Wesleyrey Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jun 30, 2014, 07:28 PM
    I wouldn't work there if that person is bothering you.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #10

    Jun 30, 2014, 07:38 PM
    What are your main responsibilities? Certainly there are a lot of things you are responsible for that are self explanatory and self evident--reports to be made (and older ones to look at to see how they were done), forms to be filled out for various reasons, files to be made and maintained. Is there phone work to do? Resumes to review and file? Staff problems to solve? Do you need to learn how to use a certain database? I'm guessing an organized mind and attention to detail are very important. And maybe you'll be able to see needs and add in missing pieces to make the job (and you) more valuable.

    As for dealing with the person who didn't get the job and with the rest of the staff, be cordial and professional.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #11

    Jun 30, 2014, 07:44 PM
    Just that you are so hypersensitive.. and think everyone has to be nice. And actually believe nobody else has the right to be upset they didn't get the job they were trying for. And thinking your way is the only way to think... when its really only one of many ways you will encounter.

    I've found in every place I've worked at... respect is earned... and its for the new person to earn... come into a new company whining and complaining you won't find any sympathy and will make many enemies. This applies as well in new positions and new departments even within the same company.

    You MIGHT overcome it... in time.. but you are starting by digging yourself in a deep hole.

    Someone else wanted the job... and they have every right to be upset you got it, and they didn't... if you go about rubbing their face in it, they and most or all their friends are going to take exception to it.

    They will eventually get over it... if you don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

    This shows how you can handle situations... and its not showing you can do it very gracefully. Just being honest.

    New hire walks in with an attitude... EVERYONE see's it... nobody likes it, and you will have everyone wondering when you will turn on them.

    Not being rude... just being very matter of fact about life in the corporate world. First impressions made by new hires are very hard to shake if they aren't the best.

    This is even more so in the HR Dept if you walk in even looking like you have an axe to grind with anyone. I can read this in your posts... if I see it, imagine the people that work with you. You NEED be able to work with all types of people... and do it non-judgmental. Something you haven't done based on your own words.

    And actually... when you've worked with enough people, enough years... you can quickly and easily see things about people based on what they say, how they say it... and what they leave out in certain circumstances. And do it accurately in surprisingly few words.

    Just trying to save you a lot of grief by pointing these things out. You can listen or discard everything anyone tells you. The reality is if we are right and you are wrong...you will end up paying for it. Something we are trying to keep from happening.

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