[mogrann]

Most of you know where I started my journey and how far I have come. Past few weeks I have slowly been feeling more and more stress and I am very scared I am headed back toward where I was before DBT.
I am feeling so much stress at world events and work. Today at work the stress became so overwhelming I felt like crying. Just before I was hospitalized the last time I would cry at work all the time. I will say the last time I was hospitalized I was suicidal with a detailed plan and self injuring daily. None of those are an issue now.
My worry is that even with skills I will end up in hospital. I am angry at myself right now for failing DBT if I was not dialing things would be okay

[smoothy]

Focus on only the things you have a degree of control over (work)... and don't dwell on those things you have no control over (world events). Anyone will overtax their coping abilities if they spent too much time worrying about everything. So we limit ourselves to things we have some ability to influence. We might moan and complain a lot, like we do in current events....but we don't internalise any of them..because they are all beyond our ability to influence.

I know that might sound easier than it is....but people can lose touch with what they need to do sometimes....and they need to keep reminding themselves until it becomes a routine again.

[Wondergirl]

Choose your battles, my mother always told me. Like smoothy said, work, not world events, is your challenge. What exactly do you do? Please describe your job. Can you lose yourself in the rhythms of it? Can you be mindful during each part of it and allow your senses to be surrounded by and take in the parts of it?

[mogrann]

WG unfortunately I am in a high stress occupation with a boss that likes to throw others under the bus. It sounds like I don't accept responsibility for when I screw up but I do but it has now become easier to take the for when she messes up too. The lack of following rules set in place too just irks me. I still struggle with ignoring rules. I am in a kitchen and my jobs are constantly changing. I can not blame the job as this is the same things I was feeling while I was doing catering and even working at McDonalds.
The world events things I get what you both are saying. I wish I could explain BPD and how stress, worrying and emotional mind can overwhelm you. I struggle with letting things go and not worrying. I am using skills to try to say I am safe but it is a struggle.. I really don't feel safe. I really don't feel the way to make myself safe.

[Wondergirl]

I'm guessing you like structure, not constant changes and variations -- and definitely not turmoil. Some people thrive on chaos, but you are not one of those people. AND you know you are good at what you do, are conscientious to a fault.

Even a kitchen can have rules (ask Gordon Ramsey). Are other workers feeling this stress too?

[mogrann]

I am not sure I don't talk to them about stress. After I lost my last job I do not share personal stuff at work.
I just need to dig my nails in and hang in until bills are paid off. Then I can quit. I need to man up and just put up with the stress.