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Olive1234 · Jun 8, 2014, 08:53 AM

Ok so I'm 15 and ill be 16 at the end of July and my boyfriend turned 18 in march.We've been dating for four months now. My mom absolutely has no problem with him. She loves him. Unfortunately my dad doesn't like him too much. He recently just told me that I was never to see him again. After he said that I decided I was going to stay with my mom for a while. I have no plans on breaking up with him or anything like that, but I'm afraid that my dad might put a restraining order on him. So in Canada is my dad able to put a restraining order on him on my behalf? The only reason he doesn't like him is because he is 18. I researched everything and it says that by law it is legal for me to be with him and to be sexually active. He has never cause harm on me in any way shape or form. So my dad really has no valid reason to do it. But is he still capable to put the restraining order on him?

stinawords · Jun 8, 2014, 09:07 AM

First, who has custody of you? I ask because you said the you decided to go live with your mom. If your dad has been awarded physical custody of you he can go to court to have you returned. Your mom would have to petition the court for a change in custody. You are still a minor so your parents are allowed to have a say in who you date. I don't know that your dad will get a restraining order but I would have him and your mom talk. There are generally more reasons that parents say things than just to make you unhappy. I remember being a teenager... and now I'm a parent. I can see things from both angles. I have to say I don't think I would let my kids date someone that much older at that young age.

mogrann · Jun 8, 2014, 09:54 AM

What province are you in in Canada. Some provinces can not make you return home with parent who has custody. I know this due to one one my nieces living elsewhere and her mom had no way to bring her home. The police said she was old enough to live where she wanted. She did have to be in a house and safe though, and still attending school.

cdad · Jun 8, 2014, 10:12 AM

From the way your question is layed out it sounds like you have been living with your dad until he disagreed with your boyfreind. Then you took the easy route and moved to your mothers. If that were to end up in court it will not look good for you as it shows how immature you still are and your lack of respect for your parents.

If you are still having sex with him then he could get into deep trouble at this point. If you have been active since you met then he would be lucky that your dad doesnt press charges that will last him a lifetime. If he can't wait then he has a problem too with maturity. You both need to grow up and move along.

ScottGem · Jun 8, 2014, 10:48 AM

The law says you will be above the age of consent in Canada when you turn 16. That doesn't means its legal for you to have sex with him, just that he can't be prosecuted for statutory rape. And, while there are no laws that specify an age limit for dating, your parents still have control, so if he continues to date you over your father's objections, he could be in legal trouble.

The fact that you looked this up seems to indicate that you plan on becoming sexually active when you turn 16 next month. And that implies that your boyfriend has been pressuring you for sex. Four months is not that long for a relationship. Especially not to become physical. Sex is not recreation.

I have a feeling your father's feelings against him are because he suspects, that your boyfriend is planning on sex with you when you become "legal".

You need to talk with your father and find out why he wants you to stop seeing the boyfriend. See if you can convince him that you are not going to become sexually active as soon as you turn 16.

Added:
I'm assuming this is the same boyfriend who you went on a camping trip with (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...ds-793508.html). And you wonder why your father doesn't like him? What was your mother thinking about letting you go on a camping trip with a bunch of boys? If I were your father, I would be having you examined to see if you are sexually active then I would be sure to keep this boy away from you.

Olive1234 · Jun 8, 2014, 05:45 PM

Both my parents have custody. And actually I was allowed to choose who I lived with once I turned 12. I just choose to go back and forth each week. My boyfriend is actually not preasuring me into sex, we started officially dating 4 months ago but we've actually been on and off for the past year and a half. We only became sexually activeonce we actually started dating. I also think there is nothing wrong with going camping with a bunch of boys and neither did my mother so you can keep that opinion to yourself. And we have also spoken with our lawyer about being sexually active and he told us that there was absolutely nithing wrong with it. All I asked was if my dad was able to put a restraining order. Nothing more.

Alty · Jun 8, 2014, 05:49 PM

Originally Posted by Olive1234

Both my parents have custody. And actually I was allowed to choose who I lived with once I turned 12. I just choose to go back and forth each week. My boyfriend is actually not preasuring me into sex, we started officially dating 4 months ago but we've actually been on and off for the past year and a half. We only became sexually activeonce we actually started dating. I also think there is nothing wrong with going camping with a bunch of boys and neither did my mother so you can keep that opinion to yourself. And we have also spoken with our lawyer about being sexually active and he told us that there was absolutely nithing wrong with it. All I asked was if my dad was able to put a restraining order. Nothing more.

The legal age for consent in Canada is 16. You're not 16. Since both of your parents have custody, your father could charge your boyfriend with statutory rape, since you're not the legal age of consent, and you admit here that you're sexually active with your 18 year old boyfriend.

ScottGem · Jun 8, 2014, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by Olive1234

We only became sexually activeonce we actually started dating.

And we have also spoken with our lawyer about being sexually active and he told us that there was absolutely nithing wrong with it.

I also think there is nothing wrong with going camping with a bunch of boys and neither did my mother so you can keep that opinion to yourself.

I changed the order of the above sentences to comment on each in that order.

As Alty said you are under the age of consent, therefore he is guilty of raping you. Won't matter if you turn 16 next month. Since the crime occurred before you reached the age of consent.

You are expecting us to believe that an attorney told you there was "nothing wrong" with your having sex. Sorry I don't believe that. And that calls into question your veracity for everything else.

Which means I don't believe that your mother thought there was nothing wrong with the camping trip.

I don't know what you think you are accomplishing by lying to us, but you are fooling only yourself.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 9, 2014, 01:05 AM

You can go back and forth as long as both parents allow, and yes you dad can get a restraining order or maybe even have him arrested if he tells you not to, and he does anyway.

talaniman · Jun 9, 2014, 04:20 AM

Even if he doesn't go for a restraining order dad's can make trouble for any 18 year old messing with his 15 year old daughter. Like send the cops to his house because you aren't home on Saturday night at a time of his discretion, or any other time he cannot find you, or make your mom aware that you go on camping trips overnight with a group of grown guys.

I don't think she would be fine with that no matter what you say.