[kimmykdc23]

We are couples for 2 years and we just got married this year. We're both 23 yrs old now and living together in one house. We never had prior sex experiences before we met so everything about sex was new to us when we started our relationship. At first I felt how passionate he is in bed even though he easily came and he can't make me feel the orgasm.

But as the months passed, he's getting lazy :( We just make love like once a week or once every 2 weeks. I wonder why he's being like that though we're both young, and I can feel that he loves me so much. I always take care of myself too and he always appreciate how I'm blooming everyday and he kiss me a lot. But I really wonder, HOW COME HE CAN'T MAKE LOVE TO ME even if he always get hard most of the time I started to kiss him and touch him?

I told him how I feel and he said sorry. But he added too that he loves me so much but it's just he doesn't care much with sex/lovemaking. I know that he always do show me how much he love and care for me but the thing is sex/love making is still an intimate way to express love for me. I don't know if it is too much to ask for him. I try to be contented but it feels sad :(

HOW CAN I ENCOURAGE HIM?

[smoothy]

He's like this after only a year of marriage and 2 years together?

You both got married way too quickly. If you had waited 3 years before getting married, you probibly would have seen this change before then. You got married before ethe lust wore off... now the new partner excitement has worn off and you see what you have.

Nobody really would normally NEED any encouragement this soon. Personally... I think this is going to remain a long term struggle as long as you both remain together.

[Jake2008]

Perhaps he knows, that you are not satisfied with the sex. Even without telling him.

He is just as inexperienced as you are, and there is no rule book to say that just because you get married as virgins, that that part of the marriage will just happen magically and be perfect. It takes work.

I don't think the problem is him getting aroused from what you've said. I think the problem is what happens after that.

Why not take charge in the bedroom, and guide him. Slow him down, and he'll learn that the lovemaking experience can last longer, and be more satisfying than what he thought.

The quickie sex, is only satisfying him, not you.

While it is indeed an expression of intimate love, to have sex with your husband, and he with you, to imply or think that he is not interested because he doesn't love you, or want to love you, is a mistake I think.

I would say, no guilt trips, or criticism, but take a little more control to slow him down, and learn how to teach him, what you need. There are books and video's and likely billions of articles online that would help open up the lines of communication. Keep it light, and don't be shy to make suggestions, and don't be shy to tell him how you feel, and what you'd like to try with him.

[Fr_Chuck]

You should be having your orgasm before he even starts having sex. Few women will have a orgasm from just sexual intercourse. That is what foreplay is all about.

If he reaches too early, at his age, he should be good for a couple more rounds. But perhaps, after too too early, he feels ashamed or feel something is wrong. So he avoids sex rather than have to deal with your feelings like you are not satisfied.

Show him how to satisfy you with a sex toy, or his hand or mouth, and perhaps do the same with him, before you even start with the sexual intercourse.

[talaniman]

Maybe you are the one that's lazy if you haven't taken time to talk to him about what you want, need and how. Or worked to get your own pleasure. Didn't you pleasure yourself before you married?

[simpleman75]

Surprise him one night with a candle light dinner at home, play some romantic music and sit and talk. Try and do away with all distractions. After dinner have another surprise waiting for him in the bedroom. Wear something sexy and revealing. Tease him and make him want you. If he still performs too quickly, wait until later and talk to him about your concerns. And the next time tie him to the bed so he cannot use his hands.