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activedaddy · May 7, 2014, 12:45 PM

Original Divorce and Child arrangements were in Kentucky. Both parents and the children have moved to Indiana. Can or should the jurisdiction be changed to Indiana? We have joint custody with no written child agreement (we were very agreeable for 2 years on child time.) I am the father and mother has "primary" and she has recently changed her 'agreeability' thus not allowing me as many overnights as we had done the last 2 years (previously 3 or 4nights/week to now just 2 overnight, but I am able to see them after school for 2 hrs, 2 days) stating she 'doesn't need my help anymore'. I get the feeling he is trying to limit my time so she can show a court the little time I get to protect her support (setting a false precedent.) Obviously she sates other reasons. Kentucky does not alter support based on parenting time but Indiana does.
Another side issue is our oldest child is not mine biologically. I was made aware of this during mediation and have since been told by the Ex that her attorney lied about the identity of the true father in "order to get the deal done". What if anything can be done about that?

stinawords · May 7, 2014, 01:06 PM

You can petition the courts to change jurisdiction. Being that both parents live in Indiana now it will probably be granted. How old is the oldest child? Are you still the legal father of the oldest? If you are still the legal father you can ask for an order for visitation for that child as well. If you are trying to get the court to order a DNA test you will first have to petition them. There is generally a limit on how long you have to challenge paternity. Do you have any proof that the lawyer lied about paternity? Why did you not get a visitation order so that visitation was laid out in front of both of you? Also, while it is true that Indiana takes the overnights into account when figuring support payments, the typical visitation is every other weekend and Wednesday after school (not an overnight). Along with alternating holidays and two weeks in the summer. If you are wanting more than that I would recommend getting a lawyer to help to persuade the judge. How far away from each other do you live? If in the same school area it might help get extra time in during the week but not always.

AK lawyer · May 7, 2014, 01:15 PM

I don't follow the statement that her lawyer lied (to OP) about paternity.

Presumably Kentucky follows the general rule that children born during a marriage are presumed to be children of that marriage. I also presume that the OP believed at the time that OP was the father. Rather than lying, it appears that the lawyer may have failed to correct this assumption (if, in fact, the lawyer knew) on the part of OP, figuring that it wouldn't make any difference anyway.

To actually lie, the lawyer would have had to say (to OP or his attorney) something like "my client has assured me that you are the biological father of the child", while at the same time knowing the statement of his client to be false. Did this happen?

activedaddy · May 7, 2014, 01:20 PM

Oldest child is now 10. I am the legal father of both children and treat them no different. At the emotional time of mediation and finding out that my oldest want mine I can't really answer why I didn't get visitation order. I was going off advise of my attorney. My attorney is the one that told me the 'lie' about the birth father and he said that is what her attorney said. When I confronted him that the mother said that was a lie, he said, 'of course she will say that now.' I just read that the "typical schedule" you stated is not supposed to be the typical sched. but is supposed to be the default minimum schedule. Apparently IN just revised that to inform judges to stop making that the go to schedule when it should be the minimum schedule. We live close to each other and close to the children's school (15 min)

activedaddy · May 7, 2014, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by AK lawyer

I don't follow the statement that her lawyer lied (to OP) about paternity.

Presumably Kentucky follows the general rule that children born during a marriage are presumed to be children of that marriage. I also presume that the OP believed at the time that OP was the father. Rather than lying, it appears that the lawyer may have failed to correct this assumption (if, in fact, the lawyer knew) on the part of OP, figuring that it wouldn't make any difference anyway.

To actually lie, the lawyer would have had to say (to OP or his attorney) something like "my client has assured me that you are the biological father of the child", while at the same time knowing the statement of his client to be false. Did this happen?

During mediation my attorney and her attorney talked privately. When he returned, he said that her attorney told him that the biological father was a 2 week 'fling' and he is now in prison for murder. The mother has told me she was drunk and taken advantage of one time and does not know who the father is. I don't know who to believe. The mother later told me that she was pissed that her attorney would make that up so she confronted the attny. The mother told me that her attorney told her "I got the deal done didn't I"

AK lawyer · May 7, 2014, 01:39 PM

So you believe your attorney lied to you, either (depending on which of your posts I read) saying that

her attorney told him that you were the father (Post #4), or
her attorney told him that you were not (Post #5).

I don't know that it really makes a lot of difference. But I still am not persuaded your attorney actually lied to you. He simply relayed what he was told (which in turn may not have been accurate)

stinawords · May 7, 2014, 02:08 PM

So were you married at the time the oldest was born? Why do you even bring up a lie that might or might not have been told if they are both legally your children and treat them both as your children? Also, they typical schedule that I posted is not by any means the minimum. The farther parents are from one another the farther apart visitation is. Sometimes Wednesday isn't even included depending if it would interfere with the child getting to and from NCP because they still have to go to bed at a reasonable time to get up for school the next day. I was born and raised in Indiana I do actually know these things. While I am glad that the two of you are living close enough to be able to get more visitation than that, as of right now jurisdiction is still in KY. So you have two choices as of right now. One, you can petition the court in KY that still has jurisdiction to give you an actual order for visitation so that it is there on paper for both of you to abide by. Two, you can petition for a change in jurisdiction (which would have to happen if you are wanting an order of visitation and modified child support order from IN).

activedaddy · May 7, 2014, 02:09 PM

I don't know who lied. But the stories don't ad up. I personally believe her attorney lied and made up the "murderer and in prison" story to keep me from trying to track down the real father. The mother is likely afraid to open that can of worms of having the real father involved in any capacity. The reason this matters is for my child's well being. She will eventually have questions about who she is and I want to be able to help her. I am Caucasian and so is mom, but child is obviously not. Bottom line is that this isn't fair to my child and she will eventually want to know the truth. I know I would.

activedaddy · May 7, 2014, 02:13 PM

Originally Posted by stinawords

So were you married at the time the oldest was born? Why do you even bring up a lie that might or might not have been told if they are both legally your children and treat them both as your children? Also, they typical schedule that I posted is not by any means the minimum. The farther parents are from one another the farther apart visitation is. Sometimes Wednesday isn't even included depending if it would interfere with the child getting to and from NCP because they still have to go to bed at a reasonable time to get up for school the next day. I was born and raised in Indiana I do actually know these things. While I am glad that the two of you are living close enough to be able to get more visitation than that, as of right now jurisdiction is still in KY. So you have two choices as of right now. One, you can petition the court in KY that still has jurisdiction to give you an actual order for visitation so that it is there on paper for both of you to abide by. Two, you can petition for a change in jurisdiction (which would have to happen if you are wanting an order of visitation and modified child support order from IN).

Here is the new Indiana guidelines:
The Guidelines are the minimum amount of time and not a default: "Because the parenting time guidelines are minimum standards, it is recommended parents and courts not “default” to these guidelines in lieu of a consideration of the best parenting time plan."
New Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines, Effective March 1 2013 â€” All Things Family Law

stinawords · May 7, 2014, 04:27 PM

I don't think you quite understand the link that you posted. I'm not going to sit here and argue I'll let you do that with a judge. In the meantime Kentucky still has jurisdiction so you need to look up what visitation time you can get through their system. Until jurisdiction is changed everything goes through Kentucky.

ScottGem · May 7, 2014, 06:13 PM

Ok, first, you have no clue who lied and who didn't. You were not present when your attorney talked to her attorney or when her attorney talked to her. So you don't know exactly what was said. The main point is that it does not matter. If you want to help your daughter find out her true heritage, then you go to court on her behalf and compel the mother to tell the truth about the bio father (the mother is the only one who knows). Then petition the court to subpoena DNA from any possible bio fathers.

Second, if you feel the mother is limiting your visitation, then you go to court and petition for a specific visitation schedule.