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RDFG · May 5, 2014, 02:39 PM

Ok, I am trying to find a copy of my mothers marriage & divorce from a previous marriage. I think she may have still been married when she married my father. Does anyone know where I can get this info without joining a site and paying a monthly membership for it?
THANKS FOR ANY ADVICE :)

joypulv · May 5, 2014, 03:13 PM

Nope. They are state records, nothing federal, and not criminal, so all those companies aren't interested. Look for the state website involved and departments such as Vital Statistics or Birth/Death/Marriage. But they aren't going to help you online.

It's very easy to get married without divorce being final. In fact it's easy to get married without being divorced at all. Happens a lot with people who move from state to state.

RDFG · May 5, 2014, 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by joypulv

Nope. They are state records, nothing federal, and not criminal, so all those companies aren't interested. Look for the state website involved and departments such as Vital Statistics or Birth/Death/Marriage. But they aren't going to help you online.

It's very easy to get married without divorce being final. In fact it's easy to get married without being divorced at all. Happens a lot with people who move from state to state.

Thank You. Isn't it illegal to do that?

tickle · May 5, 2014, 03:46 PM

You have asked this many times, and we don't quite seem to get it right for you. Yes, it is illegal, but who cares if it is state to state? What do you hope to accomplish by asking repeatedly about this issue ?

RDFG · May 5, 2014, 04:02 PM

Originally Posted by tickle

You have asked this many times, and we don't quite seem to get it right for you. Yes, it is illegal, but who cares if it is state to state? What do you hope to accomplish by asking repeatedly about this issue ?

If you read the question! It is totally different. I have only asked it once. This one is asking if you can marry if you are already married, & where to find marriage and divorce records.
This question is totally different.
Everyone has seemed to get it right but you.

Are you always this argumentative or are you just having a bad day?
Hopefully the later, and your daygets better for you.

Fr_Chuck · May 5, 2014, 04:07 PM

There are no free sites that will show all. A few sites have marriage from some states, but it is not complete and they are paid sites. And if this is very important to you, just pay for the records.

There is no federal data base, records are keep by state to state.

Also, honestly, why is this so important to you. It makes little difference to anyone, unless there are some legal claims by a husband to an estate? Is this an issue ?

A marriage is considered legal and valid, (period) if there is evidence to prove a marriage was done improperly, then it can be challenged in court. But until a judge rules a marriage is invalid, it is valid.

No, if they were married in one state and got married again in another state, it is not proper. But with that said, it is done often, esp in cases where a man or women can not find the other spouse, perhaps they left years ago.

ma0641 · May 5, 2014, 07:23 PM

Actually you have been dancing around the same question. You started with asking about your mother getting married when she was already married.

joypulv · May 6, 2014, 03:15 AM

'Isn't it illegal to do that?'

Yes, that's bigamy/polygamy and illegal everywhere. So is not wearing your seatbelt, jaywalking, and forgetting the income from that stuff you sold on your taxes. Laws get broken all the time.

I think you might want to ask what the consequences are if bigamy is discovered. I don't know. I'm guessing that it does show up in civil cases rather than criminal cases. Perhaps in the event of claiming an inheritance when no will has been found.

RDFG · May 6, 2014, 06:34 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

There are no free sites that will show all. A few sites have marriage from some states, but it is not complete and they are paid sites. And if this is very important to you, just pay for the records.

There is no federal data base, records are keep by state to state.

Also, honestly, why is this so important to you. It makes little difference to anyone, unless there are some legal claims by a husband to an estate? Is this an issue ?

A marriage is considered legal and valid, (period) if there is evidence to prove a marriage was done improperly, then it can be challenged in court. But until a judge rules a marriage is invalid, it is valid.

No, if they were married in one state and got married again in another state, it is not proper. But with that said, it is done often, esp in cases where a man or women can not find the other spouse, perhaps they left years ago.

Every legal document we have for her has a different DOB also she has hidden her name most of her life. More and more keeps turning up and we have found that she may have been married and never divorced. She has been married 3 times. But The first she never legally divorced. Yes this pertains to legal matters & a estate. She has advanced dementia and can not communicate. This estate goes back 3 hundred years on our fathers side. We would like to provide her with better health care. Make her last days as comfortable as possible. This would make it possible.

Originally Posted by ma0641

Actually you have been dancing around the same question. You started with asking about your mother getting married when she was already married.

Actually the first question pertained to using a fake name to marry. Not already being married.

joypulv · May 6, 2014, 06:44 AM

Consult a lawyer. I don't think you will find a court that will award her money from a previous husband just because it didn't end in divorce, especially if that husband is deceased.
At best she can get small monthly amounts of Social Security from any marriage that lasted at least 10 years. She needs the SSNs of those men.
Also, sadly, dementia care uses up money at an alarming rate. Even those who have supplemental plans and nursing home plans find that the coverage is used up quickly. Then Medicaid takes over from Medicare. Your best bet is to find a good facility that takes what assets she has and then keeps her after it's gone. Most of those operate as non profits and are very nice places.

AK lawyer · May 6, 2014, 07:29 AM

Originally Posted by RDFG

... This estate goes back 3 hundred years on our fathers side. ...

A 300 year old probate case? A will or intestacy from more than 60 years before the American Revolution?

I don't think so.

But if so, I would love to watch, it would be fascinating.

ScottGem · May 6, 2014, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by RDFG

Actually the first question pertained to using a fake name to marry. Not already being married.

Its still all relating to the same issue and knowing the whole story would help answer you.

But I don't understand how knowing this would help you provide medical care. You say she was married 3 times, but you don't know if she was legally divorced from either of the first two.

The family may go back 3 hundred years but an estate doesn't. Who's estate do you think she might be entitled to a share of? The 1st husband, the 2nd or the last? Why do you think there is any estate she is entitled to?

If you want our help, you really need to explain your thinking not just ask isolated questions. As noted bigamy is illegal, but someone would probably have to swear out a complaint for a prosecutor to decide to prosecute. Also as noted, a marriage is legal as long as a license was obtained and an official signed it. The marriage could be overturned if there were irregularities, but only be a court and a court would look into it only if a complaint was made.

RDFG · May 6, 2014, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

'Isn't it illegal to do that?'

Yes, that's bigamy/polygamy and illegal everywhere. So is not wearing your seatbelt, jaywalking, and forgetting the income from that stuff you sold on your taxes. Laws get broken all the time.

I think you might want to ask what the consequences are if bigamy is discovered. I don't know. I'm guessing that it does show up in civil cases rather than criminal cases. Perhaps in the event of claiming an inheritance when no will has been found.

There was a will. This has to do with something other than that. I am the sole inheriter. I am trying to benefit my mother as she only has a little time left. This is why I didn't care to share people start asumming.

cdad · May 6, 2014, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by RDFG

There was a will. This has to do with something other than that. I am the sole inheriter. I am trying to benefit my mother as she only has a little time left. This is why I didn't care to share people start asumming.

What your really stating is that you dont want answers. The reasoning behind that is you dont seem to know what the right questions are to ask. That is why your either going to have to give us information to go on or just drop it and move along.

ScottGem · May 6, 2014, 04:21 PM

What does "benefit my mother" mean to you? As cdad said, we can't help you unless we know what you want help with.

joypulv · May 6, 2014, 06:10 PM

We have no idea who you are! More 'assuming' goes on when we don't have facts.

I'm going to assume that your mother has no assets. In many cases with Alzheimer's, that is preferable, because assets are quickly spent and homes go to the state for Medicaid if the house is still owned within 5 years of going on Medicaid.
If you have inherited a reasonable estate (estate means the total of what someone leaves when they die), then PLEASE hire a financial planner well versed in expenses for elder care! Or just go talk to some nice nursing homes - the good ones will be very helpful. All this searching for past husbands for some mysterious purpose is the wrong approach, I think.

Fr_Chuck · May 7, 2014, 01:07 AM

If the poster does not want to tell us, what is actually happening, I will soon close this thread, since no good is happening here. The OP does not want any help,

RDFG · May 7, 2014, 05:54 AM

Thank you. I am well aware of the cost. She has been in a nursing home for 5 years. Funds are running low. There are funds available she will never see. Tied up in a estate. This is why this is so importance to me. I will rreceive them once she is gone. Would be nice to see it benefit her while she is still here.

ScottGem · May 7, 2014, 06:44 AM

Originally Posted by RDFG

There are funds available she will never see. Tied up in a estate. This is why this is so importance to me. I will rreceive them once she is gone. Would be nice to see it benefit her while she is still here.

So this is what you need to explain. Are you saying there are funds in an estate currently going through probate? Is she the beneficiary of those funds or are you?

RDFG · May 7, 2014, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by joypulv

Consult a lawyer. I don't think you will find a court that will award her money from a previous husband just because it didn't end in divorce, especially if that husband is deceased.
At best she can get small monthly amounts of Social Security from any marriage that lasted at least 10 years. She needs the SSNs of those men.
Also, sadly, dementia care uses up money at an alarming rate. Even those who have supplemental plans and nursing home plans find that the coverage is used up quickly. Then Medicaid takes over from Medicare. Your best bet is to find a good facility that takes what assets she has and then keeps her after it's gone. Most of those operate as non profits and are very nice places.

Thanks for the reply. Yes it is very costly. She has been in a nursing home for 5 years and unable to hold a conversation for 4 of those. Funds are running low. I know her time is limited, Trying to make her as comfortable as possible for her time left.