[MegaAlly]

I've pretty much suffered it my whole life and I see other people suffer it too. It's absolutely disgusting. For example, I'm sitting on the bus and I'm surrounded by parents with kids who start misbehaving. The parents yell at them and sometimes even threaten to smack them. You know what the bus driver does? You know what other people on the bus do? Nothing. Even I do nothing, although I feel this burning urge to intervene, only knowing it'll land me in big trouble with the parent for interfering. Well I suppose thinking about it, smacking is still legal in my country, but I just think it's completely wrong! Signs of physical abuse are usually conspicuous and quickly raise the demand for attention, but verbal abuse is just as bad, yet it's one of many problems that tends to fall under the radar. There are not many outside influences which step in to make a difference. Does anyone agree with me?

[Wondergirl]

What I've done (at the mall, grocery store, for instance) if I'm anywhere nearby and feel like I can "interfere" is ask the parent if I may teach a simple game to the child -- "Rock, Paper, Scissors" or "Peekaboo" or will draw a face on my index finger and turn it into a puppet that talks...or whatever, depending on the child's age. Usually the parent agrees, especially when I add "to give you a few minutes' break." This works better than escalating the situation by scolding the parent or yelling at her (usually it's a her, seems like in my experience).

[smoothy]

So Meg , what would you suggest as an alternative? Let the kids scream and misbehave, allowed to continue to do whatever they are doing?

Letting the kids misbehave only teaches them the only thing important is that they get what they want when they want it. Not disciplining them can easily be just as bad as screaming and yelling and usually is. Not saying screaming and yelling is the preffered means of discipline, its usually indicative of a parent pushed to the edge of their ability to cope with a situation..

I'm guessing you aren't a parent who has been pushed until their last nerve is ready to snap. I don't think most parents resort to screaming and yelling immediately....but only after being put under a lot of stress. And EVERY parent can be and has been pushed to that point before.

There is also a huge difference if it's a toddler or infant... or an older child that is misbehaving. A 6 year old having a meltdown because they didn't get the toy they demanded is way different than a collicy or uncomfortable infant who can't help themselves.