[beplmi]

I am going insane in my own body. I have yet to allow myself to believe that anyone truly can care about me. My current boyfriend doesn't give me any feedback when I try an tell him things that have been bothering me. Im not sure if that's normal, or if I even should be getting mad when he just sits there and listens and responds with "ok". Maybe I'm too needy? Do I expect too much? I feel that the things I get upset about are not considered "normal" to people, but to me it seems natural to be upset about something like him not responding after I vented about a long stressful day.

Any opinions? Not even sure who to ask anymore...

[Wondergirl]

When we girls vent, guys say "ok" and maybe want to fix it. They really don't want to listen to a long, drawn-out complaint. I usually save the ranting and venting for my girlfriends. Oh, and I've been married for almost 47 years to a fixer-upper husband and have two male children who roll their eyes when I start to vent. I don't take it personally.

[beplmi]

To me it shows they don't care. I guess that's just my way of thinking. I wish I could vent to my friends but they don't want to hear it either...

[Wondergirl]

To me it shows they don't care. I guess that's just my way of thinking. I wish I could vent to my friends but they don't want to hear it either...

I also vent to my cats. ;)

[beplmi]

How do you not get mad when they don't listen! It drives me nuts

[Wondergirl]

How do you not get mad when they don't listen! It drives me nuts

Maybe you need to rethink how you vent. AND do you listen to them?

[beplmi]

I am the most consuling person to people, but no one ever listenes to me. I tend to bottle things up because I know how my boyfriend and friends respond and I don't want to burden them. Sometimes I just go on a rant but it kind of hurts my feeling when I'm don't venting and then he starts talking about himself, and how his day was bad.

[Wondergirl]

The solution is simple -- don't vent to people who don't listen or even care.

[beplmi]

That leaves me with the walls... haha.

[smoothy]

To me it shows they don't care. I guess that's just my way of thinking. I wish I could vent to my friends but they don't want to hear it either...

Maybe you drone on WAY too much about it... not even a HUSBAND wants to hear constant negativity and will say OK just to get it to end and not provoke further discussion on the topic.

Wondergirl is right about that... I'm a guy... I'm backing that up. Guys want it short and sweet... get it out get it over, get it done. Don't read us war and peace in its entirety....give us the Schamms outline version.

Example... we go to the mall to buy a pair of pants... we are usually on our way home inside of 15 minutes... we know what we want, we go find it, we go pay for it... then we go home. We don't spend hours looking at other stuff when we know exactly what we want.

Unless it's a swap meet... then we can spend the entire day looking at car parts and stuff we don't even need.

[talaniman]

At some point you will have to accept the possibility that if your friends and boyfriend don't want to hear it, then maybe it's the way you vent/rant.

I would do an honest self examination of the way you communicate and see if what you do is too much to handle, or too often. Maybe you really just need a better way to vent.

What is it that makes you need to vent so much, or so often? What's going on in your life? Ever keep a journal or personal diary of those feelings to vent and review?

[vanheart]

Let him know how you feel when he doesn't respond. Then ask him how he feels when you rant & rave. Good start. Sounds like you guys don't really communicate.

Set some time aside to learn how. Without ranting. Quietly. Some people don't wish to waste their words. Me included. Others rattle a mile a minute. Maybe you need a BFF to listen stuff too.