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J_9 · Apr 4, 2007, 02:35 PM

We focused simply on what you typed. You made yourself out to be absolutley perfect. You focused on her flaws, you focusued on how you want her to change for you.

Do you see a running pattern here?

Why is it that YOU can't change? Why can't YOU learn her language? Why can't YOU convert to her religion?

Why is it all about YOU?

Read your post over again and see just how shallow you sound.

MaxyWelsh · Apr 4, 2007, 02:44 PM

Encino Guy
I'm afraid the culture and the language barriers are put up by you yourself. I wouldn't be a barrier if you bent a little and learnt something of her language as well 9even a little bit).
But yes, we don't know you - why don't you enlighten us a bit. Tell us some of your good points?

Zeus2007 · Apr 4, 2007, 02:56 PM

I don't think encino has any good points I think we all have figured him out. He want from her and he doesn't think there is any necessary need for him to change. He likes big boobs, nose job, her to convert. Love the person not the idea man. He just doesn't get t, nor do I think he will. So what if she makes more than him he should thank his lucky stars a girl this successful and giving is even giving him a chance. I think he has many insecurities and many misconceptions about relationships learn her language learn her culture. Guys like encino need a wake up call.

Wildcat21 · Apr 4, 2007, 04:07 PM

Probably the most selfish post we've had here. This dude is clueless.

Learn Spanish jack---.

This guy is LIVING with his house keeper - who occasionally

Lets see- you're in 5 year relationship - but cheating on her left and right. You're worthless Dude.

You don't respect her at all.

She doesn't trust you.

There is NO compromise here.

There is no relationship - it's been dead for a long time.

NO - you're not a good person. Selfish people also deflect their issues - hence you push it back on us.

I HIGHLY suggest you get yourself to a VERY GOOD Therapist - yesterday.

Discuss things? I bet you've never discussed anything with his gal - how? You sway you have problems communicating day in and day out hings.

Leave this woman alone - you've wasted 5 years of her life.

This Dude is so clueless and selfish. I doubt he will ever seek help or realize HE IS THE PROBLEM!!

Wildcat21 · Apr 4, 2007, 04:09 PM

J9 - great point - I bet he's bad and fat. He sounds lazy.

I don't understand why she is even with this guy.

Wildcat21 · Apr 4, 2007, 04:11 PM

This guy wants us to complement him and give him advice and be on his side - doesn't work that way - truth hurts!

I doubt he gets it.

hair2007 · Apr 4, 2007, 04:16 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Probably the most selfish post we've had here. This dude is clueless.

Learn Spanish jack---.

This guy is LIVING with his house keeper - who occasionally

Lets see- you're in 5 year relationship - but cheating on her left and right. You're worthless Dude.

You don't respect her at all.

She doesn't trust you.

There is NO comprimise here.

There is no relationship - it's been dead for a long time.

NO - you're not a good person. Selfish peopel also deflect their issues - hence you push it back on us.

I HIGHLY suggest you get yourself to a VERY GOOD Therapist - yesterday.

Discuss things? I bet you've never discussed anything with his gal - how? You sway you have problems communicating day in and day out hings.

Leave this woman alone - you've wasted 5 years of her life.

This Dude is so clueless and selfish. I doubt he will ever seek help or realize HE IS THE PROBLEM!!!

Soooo true, my god he's got to be kidding

talaniman · Apr 4, 2007, 05:23 PM

The real bad part is, she probably loves this guy.

MaxyWelsh · Apr 4, 2007, 05:40 PM

I'm sorry, but I thought this was a forum to help people, not attack them.
I'm not saying that this guy hasn't made mistakes, but you don't even know him! Give constructive advice and leave his personality in tact. OK I'm NOT a trained coucellor, but I'm sure that is what they would be trained to do.

talaniman · Apr 4, 2007, 05:55 PM

OK I'm NOT a trained coucellor, but I'm sure that is what they would be trained to do.

A professional is trained to see BS, and deal with it. Harsh but you have witnessed it here. There are a lot of people who come here with BS and this is how they are treated. No sympathy, no remorse. Personally I think the advice was excellent.

hair2007 · Apr 4, 2007, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

A professional is trained to see BS, and deal with it. Harsh but you have witnessed it here. There are a lot of people who come here with BS and this is how they are treated. No sympathy, no remorse. Personally I think the advice was excellent.

So do I...

Zeus2007 · Apr 4, 2007, 11:57 PM

Finally Somebod up in this guys grill, such BS work on his shortcomings, bull this guy is worthless he wants validation. I isn't one for that, he needs a dose of realism, Here we are calling a spade a spade and he cries. I can't stand it.

Wildcat21 · Apr 5, 2007, 10:06 AM

This isn't a place to vent. It's a place sort out reality. You get no simpathy here. This is try and sort what's really going on. And this guy is a mess... he needs a therapist pronto.

He lives and sleeps with basically his house keeper.

Zeus2007 · Apr 5, 2007, 10:51 AM

God I just reread this entry again and it gets worse each time you read it. I really agree with the last entry this guy really needs therapy. He cheated and by evidence continues to cheat. His dog like her more than it likes him ( that says a lot ) and he is worried about the dog in a break up on an equal footing with the needs of a relationship ( what ) . I again would not be surprised to learn this is a piece of fiction to get a response.

Listen man do yourself a fovor if this is for real and let her go. You are in no place to be on an equal footing with anyone in a relationship let alone with someone of such complex religious and cultural differences. If you are interested in only yourself I'd get out too because a relationship like this will fail, if you commit to her in words she will expect some changes by you which you are incapble of and then it will be really time to pay the piper. God forbid she were to get pregnant.

johnny-b-good · Apr 5, 2007, 11:08 AM

Hey man, I really think you like this girl and take it from me that you don't won't to lose her because you do love her. To your other problem that you don't talk to them at family dinners maybe you need to get a spanish-american dictionary.
P.S. love don't come easy.

talaniman · Apr 5, 2007, 01:16 PM

He lives and sleeps with basically his house keeper.

And she makes more money. What more could you ask for??

Wildcat21 · Apr 5, 2007, 02:44 PM

I read it again. This has to be fiction.

He more concerned about the dog than her.

J_9 · Apr 5, 2007, 03:10 PM

Yup, sounds like a movie to me. Someone just checking out what we think of their script.

J_9 · Apr 5, 2007, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by johnny-b-good

Hey man, I really think you like this girl and take it from me that you don't won't to lose her because you do love her. To your other problem that you don't talk to them at family dinners maybe you need to get a spanish-american dictionary.
P.S. love don't come easy.

Sorry, I meant to disagree here:

J_9 agrees: He does not love her. He wants to control her, read this again. If he loved her it would be unconditional, not on the condition she gets a boob/nose job. He also wouldn't be cheating on her if he loved her.

That is a BIG DISAGREE!!

MaxyWelsh · Apr 5, 2007, 06:16 PM

I do have to agree with you all. I don't think this is love. If it was, he would be going out of his way to find ways to help her, be with her etc.
And yes you are right, I'm not trained to detect BS.
I still think that as this is a help site, you can be civil and use polite terms?