[kimberlysmith05]

I have a son that will be turning three on 4/23. He doesn't speak that much. He says words like "stop", "ouch", "bye-bye", and "thank you". He can count to ten and he tries to say his ABC's. However these words are not that clear. If you don't really know him, you wouldn't understand what he is saying. I recently got his hearing tested. The audiologist wants him to come back for a second visit because she can't confirm that he doesn't have a hearing problem. She said his hearing is inconsistent. I've taken the steps to start him in speech therapy. I'm just concerned because I know he should be saying two to three words sentences now. He understands simple commands, but can't carry on a conversation. He is in daycare and his teachers are also concerned. He doesn't participate in classroom activities. And it's very hard to get him to sit still and join a group activity. He is GREAT with potty training. He wears underwear at home and to sleep EVERY night. He only wears pull-ups when we go out and at daycare. My problem is, since he is turning three, he needs to move up to the three year old room in daycare. However, he is not ready for that at all. In that room, the kids really have to be independent and verbal. That is one reason the daycare owner will not allow him to wear underwear to school, because he is not verbal. I'm worried that his speech delay might be something extreme like Autism. I went online and looked up the signs of Autism. My son exhibits some of the signs, but not a lot of them. I worried that I'm making too much of it, when nothing could be wrong with him. But on the flip side, it could be something wrong. I look at other kids his age or younger, and they are so much more advanced than he is. It really upsets me. I have never heard my son call me "mama". All I want is for him to be okay. If anyone has been through anything like this, I would appreciate your comments. Thanks.

[tickle]

Kim I know why you are upset and your expectations are high because you are his Mom, but believe me his speech will come because I went through the same thing with test after test after test when my son was 3. He is now 24, university grad, moving to Alberta for his first big IT job, so you got to know it all worked out and all fears were unfounded. I am not saying you shouldn't be worried but don't worry unnecessarily at this point, let him enjoy being 3 because he is past the terrible 2s I right !


The teachers will drive you crazy but stay focused and just be very patient with him because you absolutely know he is smart. You can give him all the time he needs but the teachers can't because they are trained to move everyone up and out.

Send me a private e mail if you want to talk about this further, I will help and encourage you all I can.

[Amouna]

Hi Kim,
My son who is 3 years and 10 months satrts his first setences at 3 and 1/2 ( it was an unforgettable day, a full sentence... ).I understand that his speech is still far beyond especially compared with his peers at the day care.I am getting him see a speech therapist that is helping me develop his speech.He is very smart, does his 30 pieces puzzle in less than 10 min, can count till 20 , knows the days of the week,. ect.The thing is at 3 , you should probably go and see a psychologist , just to be sure that he is developing at his own pace. I did that and know I know what to give him , beacause when they are young they will respond quickly to a therapy.
Good Luck

[Noviceplaintiff]

He may just be slower with developing communication skills. My friend's son is going through the same. At 4 1/2 he began to speak much clearer as if it occurred overnight. My friend's son wouldn't call her "mama" either but rather "Pat" because that was easier. So hang in there. Also, have you had his hearing checked? A co-worker informed me last week her son wasn't developing as you described and she just found out that he is deaf in his right ear. Hope this helps.

[Parajr]

He may be have a delay in learing verbal skills. If he listens to verbal ques like sit, stand, come, it may not be hearing. I'd have him checked for autism just to be on the safe side.

[kimberlysmith05]

Kim I know why you are upset and your expectations are high because you are his Mom, but believe me his speech will come because I went through the same thing with test after test after test when my son was 3. He is now 24, university grad, moving to Alberta for his first big IT job, so you gotta know it all worked out and all fears were unfounded. I am not saying you shouldnt be worried but dont worry unnecessarily at this point, let him enjoy being 3 because he is past the terrible 2s I right !


The teachers will drive you crazy but stay focused and just be very patient with him because you absolutely know he is smart. You can give him all the time he needs but the teachers can't because they are trained to move everyone up and out.

Send me a private e mail if you want to talk about this further, I will help and encourage you all I can.

Thanks Tickle. I really appreciate your comment. My family usually says I should just give him "time". I just get so frustrated, inpatient, and disappointed when I see kids his age and/or younger than him, talking so well. I just really want him to speak. My mother tells me that boys are little slower than girls. But my son has done everything else super fast. He started walking at 8 1/2 months. He basically potty-trained, except for the fact that he has to wear pull-ups to daycare and when we go out, since he doesn't speak. He has had a lot of ear infections in the past. Just recently this year, he had an ear infection in both ears. I know sometimes that can affect his hearing, whick in turn can affect his speech. I don't know. It's just hard when you have all these thoughts running through your head what might be wrong with your child. Just like you said, as his mother, I have very high expectations. And it just bothers me when I see other children talking so well. I met a little girl yesterday that is two and can talk very well. Not only can she talk, but she can spell her name. At that very moment, I thought of my son. I know he is very smart, I just don't understand what the hold up is in his speech. I REALLY don't want it to be Autism. That's something that will be with him the rest of his life. I'm hoping one day soon, that he'll just wake up and start talking. That would be the best day in my life, to hear my son's speak.

[tickle]

It all comes in stages and like one poster said 'almost happened over-night' and that's exactly the way it is ! My son had a terrible time in kindergarten and grade one. The teachers said he couldn't read and that's when he and I buckled down (he was always read to at night from almost day one). And after the third night, after he read a simple sentence, he said "MOM I CAN READ!! And of course it just never stopped after that, anything he could get his hands on. So you see, don't despair. It will come.

[LadyLuck1269]

You might have him tested for " 49XXXXY Syndrome " a Blood Test would show if he had this Gentic Disorder only males can have.

[schlumpfine]

Hi, when I just read your question I was so amazed because it could have come from myself, word for word. My son turned 3 on 3/19, and has the same issues you are describing. From the lack of words, lack of interest/participation at the daycare, but also easy potty training, early crawling/walking, he seems to be a copy of your son. I am also concerned, and can completely understand your feelings, because I also see my friends' kids develop at such a faster pace. My son also just moved up into the three year old group and I'm really worried, because all the other kids there can communicate and do a lot of verbal activities, and he will not be able to participate. I'm afraid he will become even more of an outsider than he already is. I also had his hearing tested, same thing, not conclusive, even though my feeling is that his hearing is not an issue, despite some ear infections. I will go and have him retested. He received speech therapy from ECI until he turned 3 in March, at which point he aged out of it. Have not been able to get any other therapy. However, he has been seen various times by psychologists, speech therapists and diagnosticians from the school district, none of whom gave me much information or raised any more concerns. I also saw a developmental pediatrician who diagnosed him with speech delay (as if I hadn't known that) and PDD. He seems to have only one or 2 of the autism characteristics, so autism was not a diagnosis. Even PDD does not seem to be right, because that means, if I understand correctly, a delay in many areas, whereas his seems to be mainly just the speech. Overall, I have gone to many places with really no answers or help. I feel that soon I'm the one who will need therapy. I'm trying to get him into private speech therapy but am struggling with the insurance.
Another thing is, I have a 19 month old son, who seems to be following in his brother's footsteps. Not a single word yet. I'm getting so worried because he is falling more and more behind and we really cannot communicate with him. Well, if you want to you can email me at herrsaugnapf(at)yahoo.com

[danielnoahsmommy]

Did you ever contact your local school district to get him evaluated. This is free and does not go on any permanent record. My son is finally finishing his speech therapy in the next two weeks. It has worked wonders. Give it a try it can't hurt. Wait till you see that you can have an adult conversation with a 4 year old (relativly speaking)

[Fr_Chuck]

Have you had his hearing tested, often inner ear issues which cause them not to fully understand everything being said.

But it is time to start getting professional included in the evaluation.

[tawnynkids]

Ok you said you had his hearing tested and you have begun him in speech therapy which are great. So I will not advise or ask about those but do have a suggestion for you I did not see here... try sign language. Sign language has had great results in helping non verbal children become verbal and help in assisting others to understand and for our children to express themselves when they can't verbally. My daughter, now 3 1/2 yrs old, was late in her speech as well. Being that she was the 5th child they figured she just didn't really have to talk because there were so many others around to guess for her and give her what she wants. Anyway, she had no hearing problems and they didn't recommend speech therapy at 2 so we taught her simple sign language. It helped a lot! She could tell us what she wanted and it really helped us understand her better. She still doesn't enunciate very well but it is getting better all the time.

Be patient, every child learns at a different rate, some very late but they learn and catch up! They have an amazing ability to "get it" one day and then fly forward. It's hard when we have day care and teachers saying things like "they need to be doing this or that" but pressure will only make the delays in our children greater. You might want to consider finding a better place for him, one that will allow him to develop more at his pace rather than their pace. Children tend to learn and develop the fastest and best when they don't feel the pressure to perform. So maybe he needs to also change day cares as well.

One small note... my son had hearing problems ever since he was little (he is 16 now) but he could hear, he had problems at certain decibels and had chronic ear wax build up. But is doing well now, he just talks a little louder than every one else. The reason I say this is that he too didn't participate in class and did his own thing, because he couldn't hear very well. So in essence he behaved as deaf child would. Distant and withdrawn.

As far as the hearing and speech resources you are doing all the right things and getting those started. But like I said above maybe simple sign language might help for now also. Here is an excellent online video sign language dictionary I used to learn some of the simple signs for my daughter: About.com: http://www.aslpro.com/

Wish you the best, hope you found something helpful here. But it sounds like you are doing a great job and are a great mom!

[Shannow10]

Consider 'Di George Syndrome' which delays speech.

[Mom of 2]

My son as Asperger's syndrome, which is also known as high functioning autism. When he was originally diagnosed, they categorized him as PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not otherwise specified), which is a catch-all for anything that they cannot diagnose. I would also recommend going to a neurologist, as all autism spectrum disorders can really only be diagnosed by a neurologist.

Check into this as well, because children with Asperger's syndrome have been known to be little professors with low social skills. It is thought (but he was never officially diagnosed with this) that Bill Gates may have Asperger's syndrome. These people have high intelligence, very fixated on certain subjects (almost to the extreme) and low social skills.

[bushg]

I have 3 children and have babysat many some children are so into discovering the world that they are not interested in speech. Or sometimes they are preoccupied with one thing cars, animals, commericals , books etc. that they have very little need for communication, this may very well put them behind at first but believe me they soon catch up. But if you worry and pressure and discuss it in front of him he will sense that something is wrong and withdraw further. My middle child was kind of like that and he is a freshman now and doing quite well, we did not hand him everything , by pretending that we did not see him when he pointed for things so to get what he wanted he was encouraged to talk that way. Also we read books and sang songs as a family... not just focused on him . Believe me it worked by the time he was four you heard him loud and clear. Good luck and don't worry too much the experts want them to be born reading. They have forgotten that they just need to be what they are and that's little kids. Stop worrying

[newlablover]

I have a daughter that spoke her first word a 5 months (mama) had a vocabulary of 26 words when she turned 1 and soon after was putting sentances togather, now at 5 years old. Never shuts up. She also is being put in the gifted and talented program already in kindergarten. On the other hand I have a son that will be 2 on the 30th and barely has 10 words in his vocabulary. They are definitely on 2 very different ends of the spectrum. But I was always told by my mom that boys develop slower than girls and that he will learn to talk on his own to just give him time.

[Mom of 2]

Although I DO agree that all children are different and learn at different rates, I would still seek the advice of professionals, if only to rule out autism or another syndrome/disorder. If nothing is out of the ordinary than just being a late bloomer, then great for you. I am only saying that going to specialists to at least rule out a syndrome/disorder would actually give you the peace of mind that I think that you are looking for.

When dealing with autism spectrum disorders, (I am speaking only of this because this is what I know) the earliest intervention can mean all of the difference in a child's educational progress. At this time, there is no cure for autism, but classroom modifications will assist a child who has autism and will make the most of their educational experience. I am so proud of the progress that my son has made, and I cannot help but think that it was because we were able to get him diagnosed so early on. As with all children, the ranges in abilities that exist among autistic children are various; some are so high functioning that someone who does not really know your child would not even think that anything was different. However, others need more classroom assistance, which may include their very own classroom with their very own teacher, or an inclusion aide in a regular classroom, or just pull outs for specials such as speech therapy, social work, occupational therapy and the like.

I hope the best for you and your child. Keep us posted on any new developments.

[jennipants]

Hi Kim, I am the parent of a 4 1/2 year old with autism. I live in Australia. I just wanted to let you know not to jump to conclusions. I know it's really hard when you have a child who is delayed compared to other children their age and it can really break your heart and worry you sick. I would say that I don't know what exactly is going on with your child, and I wouldn't tell you it's autism, or what it could be. Just that if your child is toilet trained and can say some words and is turning 3, he would be doing well if it was autism. Autism is a spectrum which means that every child is different and is good at some things, and worse at others but there are common problems such as speech, repetitive behaviour, lack of eye contact and social awareness. Sensitivity and lack of sensitivity to things such as light, noise, touch and smells. Your child probably just needs more time - he is 3. My only recommendation is that if you are worried, get him assessed and tested. For your own piece of mind mostly, but also early intervention with anything such as a speech delay can really help your child. Try to relax - the most likely scenerio is that he will catch up, and things will improve. Knowledge is power and just rule out any other causes in the meantime.
Good luck,
Jennifer.

[Emland]

My daughter at 3 could say only two words. She will turn 6 in August and I can't shut her up!

We lived in a 100 year old house when she was born. It turned out that either the dust or perhaps mold from the basement was playing havoc with her allergies and even though she didn't have a runny nose - she was horribly congested in her sinuses which clogged her ears. Once we moved out of the house, her language began improving tremendously.

I have an older child that is MR/DD so when at 2.5 years and she still had no verbal development, I scheduled a screening with the local public school system as we did with him. She was in public pre-school for development delays with a concentration on language. Call your closest elementary school, they will direct you in the right direction. The sign language suggestion was a great one. My daughter would scream with frustration because she couldn't express herself. Once she could communicate, the tantrums got much better.

You mentioned ear infections. If his ears are filled with fluid then his hearing could be impaired. Please don't allow anyone to smoke around him as it will only make the liklihood of infections increase.

I hope you will update us with his progress.

[Mom of 2]

I think that jennipants said it better than I did. You need the peace of mind that only knowledge will provide you with (a diagnosis by a professional). It was not my intent to automatically diagnose your son with autism, as only a specialist can do that. I was just trying to offer support to you if your son was diagnosed with any autism spectrum disorder. Definitely use the school resources, although they may ultimately tell you that he needs a medical diagnosis before they can proceed with their services. I know that as parents, we tend to worry so much about why our children are not like the other kids. A lot of good advice and a lot of possible reasons for what may be going on has been presented on this thread. Keep us posted on how your son is doing.