[jrsomello]

Hi, I am 27 years old and I currently live with my son and his mother. We are together but are not married. I had accepted Jesus years ago but Along the span of our relationship I started taking being a Christian more seriously. I went to church more, I fasted occasionally, changed my music, and even brought myself to tell my son's mother lets wait till marriage to continue having sex. As you can imagine, the last change was and is immensely difficult and challenging. I was able to manage it for a long while. But her and I still have many problems, we've even broken up with each other for almost a year (but was still living in the same house). We reconciled but are now, again, engaging in sexual acts with each other. I now feel like my spiritual focus is disrupted, guilty, and like God may withdraw blessing for us returning to this way of life. My son's mother is a Christian, but she is young and doesn't think having sex before marriage is that bad of a thing since we have a child already and she also feels its impossible given that we live in such close quarters. What should I do?

[Wondergirl]

Solution? Get married. Why aren't you yet?

[Fr_Chuck]

Why are you not married, takes about 3 hours including drive to courthouse and about 100 dollars.

Next, marriage in US now is a legal procedure by the government and is nothing like marriage in biblical times. Or even historical times in US.

Marriage in US has no religious bearing and is just a government control on activities of people.

You are already in a relationship and have a child. You have I assumed made commitments and promises of relationship to the mother of the child.

While of course a legal marriage is a great thing, you are in all sense of the religious meaning married, as you have taken women into your home, publicly accepted her as your partner and had sexual relationship and have a child. That is fairly well married in the time of Christ.

I guess what you did not say is why you can not just get married.

Also remember, biblical duties to mother of child, and to child. You seem to be putting too much importance in one religious issue and not enough in dozens of others about honor and duty to mother of your child.

Often recent converts and some who do the religious swing to far one side, often get tied up in the "law" and not the forgiveness.

[talaniman]

Can you not accept a spiritual marriage without a man made piece of paper? Why do you think your God will judge you by the traditions of man, which vary widely with man made boundaries, and laws? If this is such a conflict, then get the piece of paper and remove the conflict.

[graceyj20]

From what you say it seems both of your are agreeable to marriage and you certainly have plenty of incentive. What prevents you from being married?
Many get caught up in a big wedding, expectations and what others will think. Forget all that and have a civil servant marry you. Enjoy your life with your family knowing that you've choose to do what's right in gods eyes while simultaneously setting a good example for you child.

[dwashbur]

You're together, you've split up and gotten back together, you have a child together, that sounds like a family to me. All you're lacking is the tax and other civil advantages that come with having the license. May as well get one and get all the perks.

My wife and I have gotten married twice. Our first wedding cost $150. The second one cost the price of the license, and was the only wedding that pastor has ever done that included a dog in the bridal party. It'll be what you make it.

It's clear that you two are in this for the long haul. May as well make it official.