[ishellhorn]

Hi. This is in Washington state. I live in a two-bedroom apartment with my fiancé and a roommate, "Jake". We're 6 months into a 1-year lease.

Jake has no personal boundaries. He goes into our room without permission when we aren't home, a couple times when we were sleeping, to "borrow" things. He took my digital camera from our room and broke it.

In August we went on vacation and returned to find he let a homeless stranger sleep on our couch while we were gone. He asked our permission after the fact. We said no, and Jake still allowed this stranger to stay for another five nights despite repeated requests for him to leave. Jake gave our phone numbers to this guy in case he wanted someone to open the door (he called many times) and claimed we were OK with him staying for an indefinite period. We let it go because the guy eventually left.

When we moved in, Jake was a recovered addict so we agreed to a smoke/alcohol-free apt. Our lease forbids smoking inside or on the balcony. Jake smokes cigarettes on our balcony and throws butts over the side. The balcony's in front of our bedroom window, so smoke leaks inside and gives me migraines (I'm allergic). We ask him repeatedly to stop and he promises he will, then continues the next day. We've come home to him smoking out there many times.

Around October Jake relapsed and started drinking heavily, leaving beer cans and liquor bottles lying around, bottle caps on the carpet, etc. We reminded him of the no-alcohol agreement and he threatened to take us to court(!) if we touched his beer. No joke.

This entire time he'd been complaining about my cat. When we moved in he agreed to a cat. The cat is on the lease and has no behavioral issues. However, Jake doesn't like having the cat around and told me to get rid of him. When I refused, he threatened to "get rid" of the cat himself. After I said, "You can't do that," he screamed, "IT'S ME OR THE CAT." My fiancé and I told him flat-out that we would not abandon our cat. So he said he'd move out at the end of the November.

He then approached a member of our building management and lied, saying my cat was defecating all over the apartment, so that he could break the lease. We got a 10-day eviction notice sent to us for "high ammonia levels in the carpet". I talked to management, pointed out that we were already complying with all conditions in the notife, and had someone in to test the carpet... which, lo and behold, was fine. The notice was immediately dropped.

At the end of November Jake informed us he wouldn't move out until the end of January. We were frustrated but agreed because we were relieved he was leaving at all.

Jake went on vacation for a month in December. Two days before he left, he asked if his girlfriend could live in his room while he was gone. Turns out that she was homeless and had been living in his room rent-free for at least 2-3 months without our knowledge! I have written proof of this. We said no. However, AS he was walking out the door to catch his plane, he informed us that he'd given her his key to the apartment "just in case".

A after he left, we were contacted by one of his friends who said Jake told him that he, too, could live in the room rent-free for that time. Jake told him we were fine with it, which we obviously weren't.

Jake got back in early January. We asked for some kind of back-rent from his girlfriend, which he refused. Then he announced that he wasn't moving out after all.

We can't take it anymore. He recently slammed the front door so hard that the door frame cracked and it doesn't lock properly. He told me that IF he tells the landlord about it, he's going to lie about how it happened so he doesn't have to pay for the repair. He accused me of trying to punish him by moving the TV (we own everything in the apartment except for his mattress... even the furniture in his room). He basically is in full-blown depression/relapse/instability and admits that he sees us as parental figures. Whom he resents. He also told us to move out and said if we didn't find him a new roommate, he would sue us.

So... All that being said, I spoke to the management and we have two options. (1) We could transfer to a different unit and they'd take us off the original lease, leaving him alone with his mother as a cosigner. (2) We could file for a restraining order, and he'd have to leave the unit -- they'd take him off the lease.

We want the first option to avoid drama, but I'm sure he won't cooperate and he's still threatening to sue us if we leave. On the other hand, I'm not sure we have grounds for a restraining order and I'm afraid of how he'd react. My personal stress/anxiety is such that my health is declining and I can barely bring myself to go inside when I get home. I definitely DON'T want to be there when he's served.

Any advice? Do I have grounds for a restraining order? Is there a way to get one without having to speak to him or see him again?

Thanks.

[Fr_Chuck]

So, let him sue ? What is worst, living with him, or a law suit

[ScottGem]

I agree that you probably don't have grounds for a restraining order. Its not clear but who is signed on the lease. It sounds like all three of you are, which means its up to management to evict him. Seems to me that the smoking and damage would be sufficient grounds.

By the way, if he is on the lease, its possible he doesn't need your permission to have guests. Also as long as he pays his share of the rent, you have no grounds to collect rent from these guests. It would depend on what the lease says about guests.

I'm not sure he can't win a suit if you leave early. But I'm also unsure that those are the only choices management has. Why can't they evict him, especially if you agree to cover the whole rental.

[LisaB4657]

Based on what you've said here you do not have sufficient cause for a restraining order against him.

If he is listed on the lease as a tenant then you cannot evict him. If he is listed as an occupant then the landlord must join you in evicting him. If he is not listed at all then only you can evict him.

If I were in your position I would immediately take the landlord's offer of moving to a new unit. You will have him out of your life and getting rid of him in the future, if necessary, will be the landlord's problem and not yours. Also, you will not be liable for any damage he may do.

[joypulv]

He wanted you out, so I agree, take the offer of a different apartment! ASAP
His threat of 'If you don't find him a new roommate he'll sue' is hot air. Sounds like you have believed too much of it.

[ScottGem]

While I don't disagree with Lisa and Joy, I'm not sure he doesn't have a valid law suit. If you agreed to go in together on this apartment and you take the landlord's offer, I'm not sure he can't sue you for your share. Just as, if he moved out early he would continue to owe his share.

[AK lawyer]

If OP and her boyfriend take the landlord's offer and move out, Jake could, possibly, sue them for their portion of the lease payments. So, before they do so they should get Jake to sign an agreement releasing them from any liability.

[ScottGem]

Jake could, possibly, sue them for their portion of the lease payments.

That's what I was thinking, but I'm doubting if he will sign such a release.

[ishellhorn]

Thanks for the input, everyone.

Just some clarifying information: Our lease forbids overnight guests for longer than five nights. It also forbids providing a key to anyone not on the lease, which Jake also did (he gave it to his girlfriend despite our outward refusal).

Also, all three of us are on the lease as co-tenants. Thus, if we just leave, he does have the ability to sue us for the rest of the rent, but only if he attempts to mitigate damage by finding a new roommate. At this point, he (1) does not believe he has a responsibility to mitigate damage, (2) is attempting to force us to find a new roommate for him if we leave, and (3) has threatened to significantly delay finding a new roommate in order to sue us for more money. When I pointed out that this threat was out of line with the concept of mitigating damages and that he would probably not be awarded money if it was found he purposely delayed things, he accused me of threatening him and stormed out.

So, all that being said, here's an update:

I know the management could technically evict him based on all of his violations of the lease, but they seem extremely unwilling to pursue that option. Frankly I thought they would be a little more disturbed by the damage to the apartment and the violations of community standards, but they've basically said it's all on me. There is a roommate release form that Jake could sign that would release us from liability for the remainder of the rent, and if he signs this, we can transfer to a different unit. We can't transfer to a different unit without that form. However, he has refused to sign it (surprise, surprise).

So our only other options are to (1) get a protective order for unlawful harassment or (2) get a letter from a "qualified third party" like a domestic violence advocate stating that these incidents did, in fact, occur and that we are not safe staying in the apartment. In the former case, Jake would be forced to leave and we would stay in our current apartment, but the legal hubbub would be quite a bit to deal with. In the latter case, the landlord would be legally required to release us from the lease (and it could not be treated as an early termination) and they would provide us with a new unit in the building.

Right now I'm leaning toward the latter to avoid the inevitable confrontation and retaliation that would occur if I try to get a protective order.