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    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
    		  
    #1

    Dec 30, 2013, 07:39 PM
    One liners
    A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
    parttime's Avatar
    parttime Posts: 1,440, Reputation: 113
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #2

    Dec 31, 2013, 04:40 AM
    "everything that kills me makes me feel alive." Onerepublic
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
    		  
    #3

    Dec 31, 2013, 05:18 AM
    Some I made up:
    Cremora merged with Coffee-Mate and will call the new product Cremate.
    After the CEO of IBM went ballistic, he was called the ICBM.
    Doris Day and Phyllis Diller had themselves cloned: it was just another Day, another Diller.
    A friend made up:
    Why did Superman cross the road? He didn't have his capon.
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
    		  
    #4

    Dec 31, 2013, 05:22 AM
    What if there were no hypothetical situations?
    smearcase's Avatar
    smearcase Posts: 2,392, Reputation: 316
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #5

    Dec 31, 2013, 09:59 AM
    Johnny Carson says he encountered a little old lady who said he wanted to get him on canvas. He said "You want to do a painting of me?"
    She said "No, I have an old Army cot in my Winnebago."

    What's another word for thesaurus? probably George Carlin
    What happens if you are traveling at the speed of light and turn on your headlights? definitely George Carlin

    Hank (from Breaking Bad to his partner): "Your breath would scare a buzzard off a sh*t wagon."
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
    		  
    #6

    Dec 31, 2013, 10:02 AM
    I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
    		  
    #7

    Dec 31, 2013, 12:37 PM
    I just made this one up as a New Year's Resolution:
    I want to be kinder to bunnies - there's a lot of them under all my furniture and I intend to let them be.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
    		  
    #8

    Dec 31, 2013, 03:04 PM
    Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.

    I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.

    Joy, love your post. Even dust bunnies deserve to be happy. :)
    smearcase's Avatar
    smearcase Posts: 2,392, Reputation: 316
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #9

    Dec 31, 2013, 04:05 PM
    Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Anonymous

    "What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is." Dan Quayle
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
    		  
    #10

    Jan 1, 2014, 08:48 AM
    For all our members in the Current Events forum

    “The difficult thing with quotes on the internet is verifying them”
    – Abraham Lincoln
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