[shticky]

The father of my children is not involved with them at all. Lives in a different state and rarely even calls and never paid child support. How can I go about having him giving up his rights? We have discussed this when he called 4 months ago. Just don't know how to go about it.

[excon]

Hello shticky:

I don't know why you're so interested in satisfying this dead beat. I think you ought to be looking out for your child rather than him. In fact, if you're interested in going to court, I think you should be there suing his butt off for child support - not letting him out of his responsibilities.

Ok, he's not going to be father of the year. But you can make him pay like one. What?? You're rich? You don't need money to feed your kids?? I think you do.

excon

[shygrneyzs]

I agree with excon here. Even if your ex does terminate his parental rights, he still has to pay child support. Why isn't he paying child support? There are agencies that can help with that - SupportKids is just one agency that goes after the deadbeat dads - Child support collection, Collect your child support: Supportkids

[grammadidi]

You don't make him give up his rights... you fight for the kids rights! They have the right to be supported by both parents. They have a right to have some involvement with their father - no matter how little time he takes, you should not cut it off unless he is abusive, and even then, as long as it is supervised it, too, should be encouraged!

Children from broken marriages often grow up feeling like it is their fault somehow. They often suffer from poor self esteem, too. Adding a father who doesn't visit or call is damaging enough, but one who relinquishes all rights to them can be devastating!

I really think you should be pushing for the support, because it gives the kids a sense that 'daddy does care about me'. I would continue to encourage phone calls in the very least... even if you have to pick up the phone and make the call once a week yourself, then put the kids on. I would also tell them that maybe it's difficult for daddy to see and talk to them because it makes him miss them so much when he is so far away. This way, you are not harbouring hatred, and they are less inclined to think it's them. Over time it may just have a positive effect, but at least your children will learn for themselves that it wasn't mommy's fault or their fault... they will know that their dad is just incapable.

I'm not sure, because I am not familiar with the laws in your area, but I think you would have to remarry and your spouse would have to be willing to adopt your children in order to have your ex give up his paternal rights. I only think this should be done in very extreme cases where children need to feel safer because of parental abuse though.

Hope this helps,
Didi

[Fr_Chuck]

I will agree with everyone else, first why give up rights, he does not use them anyway. What you need to do is sue for your child's rights, he deserves the child support.