[neededoom]

When I was adopted I was a newborn baby. I just found out I was adopted at 21. My parents finally decided to tell me after all these years although they didn't know that my friend had told me I was long before they did, but I didn't really believe him. I always had suspicion I didn't come from this family, I don't have any of my parents features I look nothing like my dad either. But anyway they told me I was adopted and when I asked them who was my mother they said she don't want to be known. I don't know why they waited all these years to tell me this. Then mother gets emotional and starts crying saying saying she wanted a baby so bad and when she took me she was so happy.

I was a little upset about being adopted. I called my gma and asked if I had any siblings, she said my mom gave birth to 2 or 3 before me that she kept and she had 2 after me, one that died, and one that lived, a girl which is my little sister that also got adopted by a doctor. That's all they know about her we don't know where she is or anything. My gma even told me they saw her at a restaurant one of the workers told them where she worked at and I guess they followed her there.

Now what upsets me is that my adoptive parents never told me this and I'm getting all my info from my gma and aunt instead of my parents. I get the feeling they don't want me to find her but I really want to know where I come from and who is my blood family. They say they don't know her name but how is it they told them where she work and how many kids she had but don't know her name? Any way I really want to find her I'm 21 now. My gma told me she had told her mom I died at the hospital that really made me feel bad and knowing she just left me there like a dog. I really would love to meet my siblings especially my little sis. I don't know where to start.

I need help sorry this is so long but I wanted to say as much as I could because I hate the fact that I'm adopted. So if anybody can help please help me.

[ScottGem]

First, while I don't agree with your parents waiting so long to tell, I understand it. Especially when one is adopted as an infant, many parents would have a hard time telling a child they are adopted. So I would not hold it against your parents, but try to understand them. And make no mistake they ARE your parents. The people who contributed to your birth are just a biological relationship.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to find them, but just understand what the real relationship is. You may have a right to a medical history of your biological family, but nothing more. It is very possible your bio parents have no desire to reconnect with you and you need to be prepared for that.

There are several web sites that function as clearing houses for adoptees and biological parents to try and reconnect. You should register at those sites. But you should NOT approach anyone you think may be your parent directly. You have no right to impose yourself on their life.

[neededoom]

First, while I don't agree with your parents waiting so long to tell, I understand it. Especially when one is adopted as an infant, many parents would have a hard time telling a child they are adopted. So I would not hold it against your parents, but try to understand them. And make no mistake they ARE your parents. The people who contributed to your birth are just a biological relationship.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to find them, but just understand what the real relationship is. You may have a right to a medical history of your biological family, but nothing more. It is very possible your bio parents have no desire to reconnect with you and you need to be prepared for that.

There are several web sites that function as clearing houses for adoptees and biological parents to try and reconnect. You should register at those sites. But you should NOT approach anyone you think may be your parent directly. You have no right to impose yourself on their life.

Thanks for your reply its hard knowing after 21 years that you where adopted and raised by people who you asumed was your bio family. They took care of me and I was raised the only child never knowing I had siblings out there. I will never know who is my bio dad because my mother didn't even know who he was so its obvious she probably had a rough life. But thanks for your reply and I will definitely give those websites a try.

[leafkeep]

Did the adopted family tell you your birthday and if so can you tell me if it was 4/05/1991 if so was your birth name Christina Ann Ortwine. >Personal info deleted as per site rules<

[neededoom]

Did the adopted family tell you your birthday and if so can you tell me if it was 4/05/1991 if so was your birth name Christina Ann Ortwine. >Personal info deleted as per site rules<

Nahh I was born in 04/30/92 in Louisiana and my fam never told me my birth name I'm not even sure I had one cause I was adopted as a newborn. It was obviously my birth mother plan before she gave birth to me was to put me up for adoption. And like wrote before I also have a little sis who was adopted who I hope to also find one day. All we know is that she was adopted by a docter. I have very little information about my birth mother I don't know if the records are sealed or what but I do know it was a closed adoption. The only thing I found out is that I do have siblings that are older than me who I guess she kept. Im pretty sure my adopted parents are hiding info and know more than what they are telling me ik what hospital I was born at. But I am 21 now and I really want to meet her are at least get a little info about her and where I come from originally. I just need help on how I should start first

[ScottGem]

But I am 21 now and I really want to meet her are at least get a little info about her and where I come from originally. I just need help on how I should start first

Have you looked for the adoption meeting places as was suggested? That's where you start. Its also where you finish, because you need to be prepared that she does not want you to find her.

[Synnen]

If it's a closed adoption, and she doesn't want to be found, all the wanting in the world won't give you the information you are looking for.

She has more of a right to privacy than you have a right to information.

IF--and this is definitely IF--she is also looking for you, then the best way for the two of you to reunite is through reunion websites. Adoption.org, adoption.com and ISRR are 3 of the best. Louisiana also has a reunion registry at Adoption Reunion Voluntary Registry | Department of Children & Family Services | State of Louisiana


You could also pay a licensed private investigator to look for her with the information you have, but odds are that you won't get a reunion that way.

I find it unusual that it was a closed adoption with older siblings involved in 1992. Adoptions in general were becoming more open in 1992 (that's when my daughter was born and placed for adoption, and I've had contact her whole life). I have a feeling there is MUCH more to the story, and that you are going to have to get more information from your adoptive parents.

Please realize that they are people too, with hopes and fears and love for you, and they are probably trying to deal with this as well as they can, too. Cut them a little slack and try to calmly talk about it with them. It might help to write down your questions in advance so that you know what you want to ask.

[neededoom]

No I haven't had the time to just yet... but as soon as I'm free I will start looking. And yea ik I hope she at least wants to be found but there is always a chance she don't want be