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rachell21 · Mar 30, 2007, 05:36 PM

I have a 20 month old son and my boyfriend is wanting to adopt and he has been here since I was 3 months pregnant ha has done any and everything for that baby hid bio father doensnt want anything to do with him so anyone out there has any advice for me:confused:

Noviceplaintiff · Mar 30, 2007, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by rachell21

i have a 20 month old son and my boyfriend is wanting to adopt and he has been here since i was 3 months pregnent ha has done any and everything for that baby hid bio father doensnt want anything to do with him so anyone out there has any advice for me:confused:

The birth father must legally give-up his parental rights and that must be filed with the courts. Then proceed with the latter. More than likely, the birth father will not sign the papers to relinquish his rights. Furthermore, you want to have and may be required to have a commitment (i.e. marriage) with the boyfriend before the courts allow him to adopt your child. That is a great responsibility which once it is done, it becomes forever. Ergo, if the marriage ends, the adopted parent is still financially responsible for the child. (i.e.child support)

ScottGem · Mar 30, 2007, 05:44 PM

I would wait until you are married. It will be much easier then. But as long as the bio fathher is willing to relinquish his rights the courts should agree.

rachell21 · Mar 30, 2007, 05:49 PM

I really don't no who the bio father is but they no that I had a baby neither of then has asked about him

alkalineangel · Mar 30, 2007, 06:06 PM

Have them each take a paternity test. You should at least be getting child support from one or the other, regardless of whether they give up their rights or not. I agree with ScottGem though, it is easier after marriage..

Fr_Chuck · Mar 30, 2007, 06:39 PM

Yes, you will have to go to famly court and prove who the father is, if you have it down to two or three, And then they will have to sign away their rights, ( and if they don't want anyting to do with the baby and don't want to pay child support this should be no issue)

But they will havve to sign over the rights before he can adopt.

Some states will allow a "partner" not married to adopt, this is new law to allow same sex couples to adopt, but normally in mixed sex relationshiops they are still looking for that marriage license for commitment. And some states will still require the couple to be married

misshimso55 · Mar 31, 2007, 09:53 AM

I believe that if no man has signed the birth certificate, your boyfriend can and he will be known as the legal/bio father. This of course has to be done through court. He will just admit to being the father and waive his rights to blood/dna tests.
However, make sure your boyfriend is fully aware that if the 2 of you should break up, he will be legally responsible for the child. Support and all. (at least here in N.Y.)
Best of luck to you. Kudos to your boyfriend for stepping up and being a real man. :)

Fr_Chuck · Mar 31, 2007, 10:16 AM

Sorry but not having the father on the birth certificate just means he is not listed, it does not take a single legal right away. And if you have someone lie to the court that they are father then this is fraud and the adoption would not be valid but could easily be challenged in court.

You will have to have the real father sign away his legal rights, esp if you know between a couple who it can be. And there are other ways if you can not locate the real father.

Since of course if the boyfriend was the "real" father, he would not have to adopt, since he is already the father, he would just havve to pass a DNA test for the court.

rachell21 · Mar 31, 2007, 08:23 PM

OK see that's the thing my boyfriends name is on the birth cert

Noviceplaintiff · Mar 31, 2007, 08:37 PM

Originally Posted by rachell21

ok see thats the thing my boyfriends name is on the birth cert

Your current boyfriend or the one of the other men? Please clarify as to whom is on the birth certificate.

rachell21 · Mar 31, 2007, 09:03 PM

My boyfriend is the one on the birth cert and the baby has my boyfriends last name

ScottGem · Apr 1, 2007, 05:11 AM

If someone swears in court that they are the father when they know they aren't that's perjury. It may not be illegal to sign the birth certificate but attesting in court is different.

The point is that no matter what is on the birth ceritifcate, if the bio father wants to contest it, they can.