[Tictactoe]

So I have a girlfriend that I have been with for 5years now. I am attracted to men as well. The thing is I choose to be In a heterosexual lifestyle for a long time now ,(I'm 30years old). However I can't seem to make male friends anymore in the fear that I might become attracted to them sexually . It would be nice if you could give me a few advice on how I could become more relaxed around me.

[Enigma1999]

Honestly I'm not sure what advice you want... You are attracted to what you are attracted to. Just go with it. If it's men you desire, then so be it. Be you. Not someone you're not. It almost seems like you are ashamed of being gay therefore you are using the female companionship as a cover.

I could be wrong.

[Alty]

Are you gay or bi? You post that you're gay, but that you're in a heterosexual relationship and have been for 5 years. So you're lying to her and yourself? Is that it?

If you're gay you're trying to be something you're not, and it will never work. Not only won't you be happy, but lying to your girlfriend isn't fair to her either, do you honestly think you can make her happy by living a lie with her?

If you're bi you have to decide what you want. I'm a married hetero female, I have male friends, and I have female friends. I haven't stopped hanging out with my male friends because I'm worried I might become attracted to them. I might find them attractive, but I have something everyone has, a choice, a choice to be faithful, or to cheat. We all have that choice, regardless of our sexual orientation.

So you have to figure out who you are, be who you are. That doesn't mean that if you're bi you have an excuse to cheat because you like both sexes, you still owe any partner you're with your faithfulness. If you can't give that to them you have to start asking why. Maybe she's not the right partner for you.

[Oliver2011]

More relaxed? Ain't going to happen until you accept you. Trust me, I know.

[joypulv]

This isn't fair to your girlfriend. If your culture is still too hard on gays, find a woman who knows you are gay and doesn't mind or even prefers that.

[talaniman]

We can't choose our sexuality but can chose our life styles. If you want to explore other life styles at least be honest with your partner of 5 years. Its not about life style any way its about honesty loyalty, and commitment, and its nobody's fault if you cannot honor them and control yourself. If you are to weak to control yourself then be honest and share that so she can make her own decision and not be a victim of your own choices of behavior.

Really simple if you cannot stay within the boundaries of good behavior and honor your commitments to your relationship, you should leave and let her find a loyal partner. Does she even know you are gay/bi?

Deception will make you uncomfortable with yourself. Self deception will make you hate yourself. So just be honest with yourself and others and you will be comfortable with who you are.