[mogrann]

I had a very disturbing dream, in fact so disturbing I will not share it. I always thought this event was something I was completely against. Am I fooling myself and really am this type of bad person? I am still shook up about it. I will say I was going to go get help for this issue in the dream but I don't know.

Can you really dream stuff you are incapable of doing that go against your character or am I evil?

[joypulv]

Oh no, dreams are not a reflection of who you are, even if you are the person in the dream doing the awful deed!
They really are a boiling stew of pictures from your life, long past and recent, read, seen, experienced, heard, putting people you know in places they don't fit, and total strangers in places like your bathtub with you. It's like those children's books with the 3 flaps to mix animals.
Try not to worry about.
I had a nightmare that my SISTER was trying to get me to do something horrible. I love her and she would never ever! I know it's creepy.

[mogrann]

Joy I am so scared and upset. This is worse than a nightmare. I hope this does not mean memories resurfacing, I am not strong enough for that information.

[Cat1864]

You are not evil.

Dreams do not determine who you are or what you are. They can be greatly affected by what you read, watch, listen to and think about.

If you have been doing a lot of thinking or research about a subject then there is greater chance your brain will flash on them while you are asleep. Because the human mind likes patterns and putting things together in a recognizable fashion it knits them together into a story that has nothing to do with reality.

Think about it. Have you ever been an orc riding an eagle chasing penguins through a field of lava flowers?

I have read your posts and gotten to know you. You are a good person in heart, mind and soul. You are also a lot stronger than you realize and you have a support system to help you when and if you need it.

[joypulv]

If memories are indeed resurfacing, can you see a therapist (can you afford it)?
Or do you have a partner or family or best friend who can hold you and let you talk about the dream?
Again - doing something awful in a dream isn't 'you.' It's at most you working out the trauma, by putting yourself in a different role.

[mogrann]

Joy that is why I am scared. I have thought this happened to me. After you posted my brain put pieces together. I have almost 0 childhood memories. Just bits and pieces.
I am not comfortable talking to family as the other person is still alive and don't want to start trouble.
Unsure of therapy will have to talk to hubby. We are doing a new budget.

[joypulv]

Does hubby know about this dream? With or without the details?

My understanding about repressed memories is that the jury is still out, very much so.
If you do go for therapy, interview one or two to see what their theories are.
I can say what I know about the differences if you want, or not.

[J_9]

Mogrann, on FB you mention having a fever. Fevers tend to cause nightmares.

[CravenMorhead]

The vast majority of your dreams you won't know or remember. Some of them are the minds way of dealing with the chaos and over information it reaches. It can combine what you were watching on TV with what you had for lunch and your coworkers shoes to create a Wizard of oZ done by JJ Abrams and Chucky the posed doll as the terminator.

The point is that this is the time that your mind is free and does what it wants. It isn't a reflection of you, your morals, thoughts or beliefs. It is just a brief window into chaos. Trust me I have had some dreams that would make Oedipus blush. I don't want that in life.

Keep a dream diary too. Something small and private, it helps to get that chaos out of your head on to paper. Even if you never read it.

[odinn7]

Some of my dreams are incredibly disturbing....some are incredibly erotic...neither of those really happen in my real life. The disturbing things are not really who I am, it's just my mind running a movie...that's how I look at it. The erotic things...well, ok, those are things I wish (most anyway...lol) but not things I do.

Dreams really are not a reflection of who or what you are.

[mogrann]

Thank you all great suggestions and advice. Think I will do the dream diary thing as today I don't remember as much of the dream as I did when I first woke up. I would use it less for details but more for emotions that happened due to the dream.