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gator23 · Oct 30, 2013, 06:37 PM

I'm 11 and I have a crush on a girl and she likes me too I wanted to know how I could ask her out?

Wondergirl · Oct 30, 2013, 06:43 PM

If she likes you too, it sounds like a slam dunk. But what would you do with her in "going out"? At your age, does that mostly mean hang out after school or at each other's homes or sit together at lunch? Do you live in a town or a rural area with farms? How easy would it be to see her during and after school?

And you do realize, don't you, that she needs her parents' permission (and you do from yours too) to "go out" with someone.

odinn7 · Oct 30, 2013, 07:05 PM

You say, "Hey, I'll pick you up at 8 and we'll go to Olive Garden"....Oh, wait...you're only 11....hmmmm....Oh! I know!!!! Try this, "Maybe my parents can call your parents and ask if it's ok if they take both of us to the movies."

You're in 6th grade...you can't "go out". Be friends with her.

15yearoldgirl · Nov 10, 2013, 10:48 AM

There's no need to be like that, just because he's 11? You can have a relationship at that age even if it isn't the kind that older people have. He asked a question, who are we to judge?
If you still want to do it, then you should ask to talk to her in private, away from any friends. Then you should just ask her. Don't do any 'cute' tricks like holding her hands and looking into her eyes because you are young and it might freak her out? Haha just be yourself :)

ScottGem · Nov 10, 2013, 11:00 AM

Originally Posted by 15yearoldgirl

There's no need to be like that, just because he's 11? You can have a relationship at that age even if it isn't the kind that older people have. He asked a question, who are we to judge?
If you still want to do it, then you should ask to talk to her in private, away from any friends. Then you should just ask her. Don't do any 'cute' tricks like holding her hands and looking into her eyes because you are young and it might freak her out? Haha just be yourself :)

Yes there IS a need to be like that. The media has glorified romantic relationships to the point where young children unprepared physically and emotionally, are trying to emulate adult behavior. Often with tragic consequences.

So yes, we have to make a judgment call about it. Children are trying to grow up too fast. They need to let themselves be children as long as they can. And a 15 yr old who doesn't have the experience to understand that is doing them a disservice by encouraging them.

15yearoldgirl · Nov 10, 2013, 11:26 AM

I just mean that there's no need to be so rude and insulting about it. Like you were to me? Yes I'm 15 but that doesn't mean that I'm immature and that my opinions are irrelevant. Perhaps the fact that I'm 15 means I'm more suitable to answer this question because I have a better understanding of children and their relationships? Are you aware that a sixth grade relationship isn't the same as an adult relationship? They're not going to be going on dates, kissing, or anything else along those lines. You said that I 'don't have experience and won't understand' yet clearly I understand better than you do.

Wondergirl · Nov 10, 2013, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by 15yearoldgirl

Are you aware that a sixth grade relationship isn't the same as an adult relationship? They're not going to be going on dates, kissing, or anything else along those lines.

Oh, c'mon. Boys in 6th grade were trying to kiss (etc.) girls back in the 1950s when I was that age. And in the '70s and '80s when my kids were that age. I'm sure nothing has changed.

15yearoldgirl · Nov 10, 2013, 11:34 AM

I know plenty of people that age with boyfriends/girlfriends and honestly most barely even speak to each other. And the very most they would possibly do is kiss, we're not talking about sex or anything here? All I was trying to do was help the person asking as every other answer seemed to be taking the mess out of the asker, rather than attempting to be constructive and helpful.

Wondergirl · Nov 10, 2013, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by 15yearoldgirl

rather than attempting to be constructive and helpful.

Please reread my first reply to the 11 year old. I have no idea why you think it isn't constructive and helpful.

odinn7 · Nov 10, 2013, 11:45 AM

And what was wrong with mine? I said to be friends with her...at that age, that's all you really need...and to be honest...that is the FIRST step in any type of relationship anyway...friends first.

15yearoldgirl · Nov 10, 2013, 11:48 AM

The question was how he should ask someone out? Not WHETHER he should do so because evidently his mind was already made up. Please don't think that I'm trying to insult you because all I was attempting to do was to help. I do feel that it's slightly unfair for somebody to tell me that I'm inexperienced and don't understand. Obviously I don't have as much relationship experience as the both of you, but I'm very mature for my age and felt that I could offer some valuable insight, and that making jokes and mocking the asker due to his age was inappropriate. The remark I made about not being constructive and helpful was primarily aimed at the second answer.

Originally Posted by odinn7

And what was wrong with mine? I said to be friends with her...at that age, that's all you really need...and to be honest...that is the FIRST step in any type of relationship anyway...friends first.

I was referring to the 'joke' prior to this advice

odinn7 · Nov 10, 2013, 11:53 AM

Originally Posted by 15yearoldgirl

I was referring to the 'joke' prior to this advice

Oh, I feel so ashamed...I will try to do better on future answers.

15yearoldgirl · Nov 10, 2013, 11:54 AM

I'm glad that you realise your mistake :)

Wondergirl · Nov 10, 2013, 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by 15yearoldgirl

The question was how he should ask someone out?

Children at that age cannot go "out" because there is nowhere they can go "out" to (yup, a date to Olive Garden is not an option) -- unless it is a supervised social thing for their age group under the auspices of a church or school, for instance, or a family get together. So it boils down to parental permission for any activity together and basically just friendship. Anything more than that makes me wonder what they will be doing by age 15.

15yearoldgirl · Nov 10, 2013, 11:59 AM

It's just a term, it doesn't mean that they'll be going out for a meal at a restaurant etc. And many people have a boyfriend/girlfriend in sixth grade; it doesn't mean that they'll be any more sexually active than others at 15.

odinn7 · Nov 10, 2013, 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Children at that age cannot go "out" because there is nowhere they can go "out" to (yup, a date to Olive Garden is not an option) -- unless it is a supervised social thing for their age group under the auspices of a church or school, for instance, or a family get together. So it boils down to parental permission for any activity together and basically just friendship. Anything more than that makes me wonder what they will be doing by age 15.

See? Wondergirl gets the Olive Garden reference...of course!

The funny thing here is that you seem to forget that those of us who are older than you and have more experience...the ones that you are claiming don't know anything...well, we were once kids too....you know? So we already lived this. We were there. We can now look back and realize the mistakes us and others made...and try to keep others from the same mistakes. I still say he should just worry about being friends...he still needs time to be a kid.

15yearoldgirl · Nov 10, 2013, 12:02 PM

I've never heard of Olive Garden :') maybe because I'm from the uk?

Wondergirl · Nov 10, 2013, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by odinn7

See? Wondergirl gets the Olive Garden reference...of course!

And is the food at Olive Garden even that good? (I've heard it isn't.) I'd go to a Greek Islands restaurant or to Denny's for an anytime-of-day breakfast. Or to McDonald's and play in their kiddieland (if I were 11).

odinn7 · Nov 10, 2013, 12:06 PM

The food is a little better than mediocre. It actually depends on the actual one you go to.

15yearoldgirl · Nov 10, 2013, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by odinn7

..the ones that you are claiming don't know anything...

Absolutely nowhere did I say that you don't know anything? And yes, I also have been through this. Because I did so more recently and know children of this age, perhaps I am more aware of the type of relationship children of this age have? I am currently in year 11 (the last year of secondary/high school) and thinks have probably changed since 40 odd years ago.