[lovebee8422]

My boyfriend and have been together for 3 years and been living together for 2 years. He's 31 and I'm 29 haven't had many relationship issues we couldn't work out until now.

My boyfriend has always asked for oral sex and I've always enjoyed pleasing him. Recently when I give him oral he doesn't want me to stop until he ejaculates, leaving me without no simulation. He doesn't seem to want to return the favor AT ALL NOT EVEN THROUGH SEX. After he's done he just gets up and puts he pants on and continues with what he was doing before. I'm just sitting there wondering what the hell. I stay there thinking maybe he'll come back and return the favor nada. So I have to go take a cold shower.

I don't understand what's up, its not a hygiene problem because I'm very clean and according to him and my ex I don't suck in the sack. Its so frustrating and when I ask him what he would like us to do to make our sex better he shuts down on me.

I even ask him what he's done sexually in his past relationships that he would like to try again. He doesn't say anything to me. I'm very open with him about what I like and what I've done. Just to give him an idea on what and how I like doing things. He acts like he's listening but I'm not quite sure.

I ask him if he's still sexually attracted to me and of he's not it was okay I just want him to be honest. I even went to the point where I asked him if he was seeing someone else. I even told him if he was then I would support him and gladly step aside. He always tells me no he isn't seeing anyone and that he's still sexually attracted to me.

He doesn't stress over his job he says its going smoothly. He isn't showing any signs of being stressed. The one thing that I wonder is here I am sexually frustrated because our sex life decreased. To him it seems like its not affecting him AT ALL. He's always walking around happy and smiling. But as soon as I try to speck to him about our bedroom issues and I tell him I'm sexually frustrated he gets very upset.

I ask him to please meet me half way in this because not only is it affecting our relationship, its affecting the way I see myself. I've never had self esteem issues until now. I'm at the end of my rope I wish he'll just tell me what's going on because leaving me hanging isn't fair. Any advice will help greatly.

[Oliver2011]

This is from a male perspective...

"He's always walking around happy and smiling." - That's not a bad thing at all. Would you prefer he walk around cantankerous?

Hasn't he ever pleased you first? The reason I ask is because when most men finished, we are finished physically and emotionally. So give him a choice - please you first or you aren't going to finish him off.

"I asked him if he was seeing someone else." Guys hate hearing that...

"But as soon as I try to speck to him about our bedroom issues" Guys hate talking about bedroom issues.

[joypulv]

You are too... agreeable, too easy, too meek.
Just tell him without a lot of words and fanfare that you are tired of giving without receiving, and that in fact if he decides to see the light, you want a whole lot of 'me first.'
'I would support him and gladly step aside' - HUH? No, no, no.
Plenty of people take advantage of a good thing while they have it. Sounds like he is one.

[lovebee8422]

This is from a male perspective...

"He's always walking around happy and smiling." - That's not a bad thing at all. Would you prefer he walk around cantankerous?

Hasn't he ever pleased you first? The reason I ask is because when most men finished, we are finished physically and emotionally. So give him a choice - please you first or you aren't going to finish him off.

"I asked him if he was seeing someone else." Guys hate hearing that...

"But as soon as I try to speck to him about our bedroom issues" Guys hate talking about bedroom issues.

I believe communication is very important in a relationship. No he wouldn't do me first it was always him first. As for guys hate being asked if they're seeing anyone else. Maybe if they'd talk more to their spouses about what's causing this behavior. We women might not ask that question.
As for hating to hear about bedroom issues. By not discussing those issues many men and women have affairs.

[Oliver2011]

I believe communication is very important in a relationship. No he wouldn't do me first it was always him first. As for guys hate being asked if they're seeing anyone else. Maybe if they'd talk more to their spouses about what's causing this behavior. We women might not ask that question.
As for hating to hear about bedroom issues. By not discussing those issues many men and women have affairs.

Please note I wasn't making excuses for men and their bad behaviors. I was just stating them.

I agree, communication is huge. I communicate well and probably too much if you were to ask my partner.

There is no excuse for being selfish and "Hey I am done so that means you are as well." I was agree with Joy. Communicate you are not satisfied by not finishing him off (or starting for that matter).

[lovebee8422]

You are too... agreeable, too easy, too meek.
Just tell him without a lot of words and fanfare that you are tired of giving without receiving, and that in fact if he decides to see the light, you want a whole lot of 'me first.'
'I would support him and gladly step aside' - HUH? No, no, no.
Plenty of people take advantage of a good thing while they have it. Sounds like he is one.

I might appear to give in to easily. Honestly I don't say anything anymore because the many times I have said anything was for nothing. I'd rather leave then being taken advantaged of plain and simple.

Please note I wasn't making excuses for men and their bad behaviors. I was just stating them.

I agree, communication is huge. I communicate well and probably too much if you were to ask my partner.

There is no excuse for being selfish and "Hey I am done so that means you are as well." I was agree with Joy. Communicate you are not satisfied by not finishing him off (or starting for that matter).

Thank you for your honest opinion. The reason I asked him if he was seeing anyone else was because I caught him sending emails to women on Craigslist. Not to mention he has several profiles on dating sites. I can't speak for everyone out there. But if your in a serious relationship then there's no need to be looking.

[Oliver2011]

Thank you for your honest opinion. The reason I asked him if he was seeing anyone else was because I caught him sending emails to women on Craigslist. Not to mention he has several profiles on dating sites. I can't speak for everyone out there. But if your in a serious relationship then there's no need to be looking.

Agreed. It sounds like the relationship may have run it's course. I wouldn't accept either Craigslist or other dating sites.

[talaniman]

Not your fault he is a lazy lover, but it is that you allow him to remain one. Make sure you get your rocks off first, and then he can get whatever. If a couple cannot make the compromises where they both benefit, then what's the point in being a couple?

Define yourselves together, or do it apart.

[joypulv]

'I might appear to give in to easily.'
If you are still giving him one way sex, then yes, you are giving in too easily. Where's the doubt?

'Honestly I don't say anything anymore because the many times I have said anything was for nothing.'
I suggested that what you say include something to the effect of 'no more unless me first.' But no, you glossed right over that.
'I'd rather leave then being taken advantaged of plain and simple.'
You ARE being taken advantage of. Especially now that you say he's on dating sites.
Pack your bags and LEAVE without so much as a howdy do.

[talaniman]

Thank you for your honest opinion. The reason I asked him if he was seeing anyone else was because I caught him sending emails to women on Craigslist. Not to mention he has several profiles on dating sites. I can't speak for everyone out there. But if your in a serious relationship then there's no need to be looking.

So why would you even stay with someone that disrespects you outside the bedroom, as well as in it? The bedroom is the least of your problems.

You started this thread with saying you have resolved your relationship issues, but obviously you have not.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...up-770910.html

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