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Soccer2011 · Oct 21, 2013, 01:03 PM

Okay so my girlfriend (ex girlfriend now) left for a university two months ago. We dated for 6 months and we never argued or stuff like that. Her university is 2 hours away from me and I was going to make a trip to visit her every other weekend. After 3 weeks if being there she asked me for a break, I said no I just want to break up because that's what breaks lead up to anyway. But I'm still completely in love with her. She told me I'm the one she wants to marry and that she just wants to experience college yada yada. I've seen her 3 times since the break up and she's acting as if I don't exist. She came down this past weekend and asked me to go to lunch with her and I agreed. We didn't talk about our relationship and the only thing brought up about it was that she said "it's weird waking up and not having the sweet text messages from you every morning" and I said "it's hard not sending them every morning" she smiled and then looked down. After lunch she texted me and said "you treated me like a princess and I will always remember that. Please don't blame yourself. I'm really glad you were a chapter in my life." I just don't know what to do, should I still pursue her? Or should I let her go and maybe she will come back? One other thing, we have the same friends. Her best friends are my best friends and she says that I'm living her life here at home, which is bs. But please let me know what to do, I really appreciate it!

Wondergirl · Oct 21, 2013, 01:10 PM

she said "it's weird waking up and not having the sweet text messages from you every morning" and I said "it's hard not sending them every morning" she smiled and then looked down.

She threw out the hook loaded with bait and got the answer she was hoping to hear. We women are so devious.

"I'm really glad you were a chapter in my life."

Sounds like goodbye to me. I personally would walk away into the sunset after hearing that line.

Oliver2011 · Oct 21, 2013, 01:35 PM

Adding to what GirlWonder says from a parent's point of view - All kids should experience college. It is so difficult to have a long distance relationship and that is multiplied when one is in college and one is back home. It typically doesn't work out.

You are doing yourself no favors by continuing to see and contact her. Let it go, move on, there is no more you two. It hurts, it sucks, and we all survive it. You will as well.

Soccer2011 · Oct 21, 2013, 01:44 PM

Both of you are correct and I know I need to move on, I just can't. I have all these memories because I'm still in the home town. Her whole family lives me, I saw her parents yesterday and her dad gave me a hug and her mom gave me a kiss on the cheek. Her sister told her "you better not screw this one up, he's special". The only reason I know that is because I read the text message that said that. I have no doubt in my mind that if she wouldn't have left we would still be together. But I need to move on. Plain and simple. She's actually leaving back to college in a couple of hours. I'm saying goodbye for good and I'm not going to contact her any longer. It's just stupid because I can still see it in her eyes and the way she looks at me that she still cares..

One more thing... do you ever think she will realize what she did. Because honestly I treated her like a princess. I took her to the doctor when she was sick, I would lay next to her holding her until she fell asleep, I would buy her flowers and gifts. And I'm not saying in perfect, because I'm not. But I did try my absolute best because I love her. Do you think she will come back? :/

talaniman · Oct 21, 2013, 02:01 PM

More than likely you both will move on to bigger and better things but you never know. Much as it hurts leaving on a sweet note is what keeps the memories alive. They will be part of you both forever no matter what happens. You still must heal, and move on and deal with reality.

Soccer2011 · Oct 21, 2013, 09:33 PM

So quick update. She came and saw my family and sister before she left. (Her and my sister are really close friends) and at the end of it all she told my sister that she loves me, misses me, and wants to be with me forever but that the best thing to do now is not to be together because she's off in college. Once my sister told me that I went outside and caught her before she left, she said "I was wanting to ask for a hug but didn't want to make it weird" I opened her door and we hugged for a good 20 seconds and she said "I'm sorry". It makes me more confused now, but I guess at the same time I actually know how she's feeling and what is actually going on through her head. I'm not going to speak to her for a couple of weeks and see how that goes, then I guess go from there?

mashiat · Oct 21, 2013, 10:20 PM

She is still into you and so are you... well, that's obvious as you mentioned it beforehand :p She doesn't whether you want her back and that's why hesitates to express her feelings completely... try pursuing her and see if she responds... there is a 80% possibility that she will respond in a positive way.. she still likes you but is not sure whether she wants to come back to you but she does miss being with you... So try pursuing her... Goodluck! (y) :)

Soccer2011 · Oct 21, 2013, 10:31 PM

Yeah exactly. I can tell she still loves me just by looking into her eyes. I leaned in to kiss her today and literally as we were about to she said no, she doesn't want to because she's leaving again for who knows how long. She doesn't want the pain and agony of everything, which I understand. I'm going to go no contact with her for a couple of weeks and see how that goes. Don't get me wrong, I love her so much. And I understand where she's coming from because I know it's hard as hell to be in a relationship and not see each other. I guess we will see how this goes..

Oliver2011 · Oct 22, 2013, 05:47 AM

Originally Posted by Soccer2011

Yeah exactly. I can tell she still loves me just by looking into her eyes. I leaned in to kiss her today and literally as we were about to she said no, she doesn't want to because she's leaving again for who knows how long. She doesn't want the pain and agony of everything, which I understand. I'm going to go no contact with her for a couple of weeks and see how that goes. Don't get me wrong, I love her so much. And I understand where she's coming from because I know it's hard as hell to be in a relationship and not see each other. I guess we will see how this goes..

Trying to pursue is absolutely the wrong move for you.

Being in college she will be experiencing new people and new things without you. You will probably become a memory. If you hang on hoping, it will become more difficult for you. Keep yourself busy with what activities you find fun. Go out with friends, go to movies, go for a run, etc. That will keep your mind active and you will get through this faster. Yes it sucks but yes we have all survived it.