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    letitbe1111's Avatar
    letitbe1111 Posts: 60, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Oct 5, 2013, 07:27 PM
    Confused 40 year old
    I started dating a shy, successful, sweet man. I liked him very much. He was very busy so we were able to get together about once a week- always on a weekday. (no-not married- I've been to his home) due to weekends of either his daughter or work obligations. He always emailed me for a next date. Then, he invited me over to watch a football game and told me how into me he was. Stupidly, I slept with him. The next week when we went out, he said he was very busy for the next few weeks. I believed him, but asked for a phone call. Instead, more emails. After 2 weeks of no date at all, but a couple of 2 line emails, I emailed him and told him to only phone me. At which point he suggested (via email of course) a break because he is so busy. What the hell? He ended the email saying he hoped I would answer his call in a month or so.

    I'm sad. I am 40. I've been dating well over half my life. What do you think this is about? And on a separate note, how do people over 40 cope with this garbage because I'm really sad?
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
     
    #2

    Oct 5, 2013, 08:15 PM
    I am sorry, but it sounds to me as if he got what he wanted and now he is moving on.

    Unfortunately things like this are going to happen. I wouldn't call or email him nor would I accept his calls or emails.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 5, 2013, 08:32 PM
    I wouldn't be too heartbroken about this guy. He obviously doesn't have the time to commit to a relationship, and has no interest in making a relationship work. You deserve better than this. So forget about him, he's a dud, and likely single because of how he acts.

    Time to find someone worthy of your time. Someone that's willing to make the time for you, call you, make dates, and actually communicate with you.

    Chalk this one up to a lost cause, and move on. Don't let it hurt you, it was a fling, nothing more. He doesn't deserve to have the power to hurt you.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #4

    Oct 6, 2013, 01:27 AM
    This guy sounds like a creep. I think you have to not ignore things that just don't make sense. His never calling you, only email is just strange. Then his brushing you off after sex. Cut him off completely and don't ignore red flags. Sorry this happened to you.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #5

    Oct 6, 2013, 01:51 AM
    Don't kick yourself. I know it hurts when you sleep with a guy who isn't then eager to see you again and again. It really is possible that it's a coincidence that he was going to be super busy with work. But mainly, I have a feeling it's his daughter who is consuming his time and attention, and the fact that he doesn't want to use the phone is because he doesn't want her to overhear him talking. I know a father who raised two daughters (not even his, his exes from previous marriages!) and refused to get openly involved with women until they were out of high school.
    That's in your guy's defense. But it's no excuse for treating you this way, so dump him.

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