[odinn7]

quit saying shes an ex for a reason thats a load of crap -__- not trying to be rude but ive herd that enough and its ridiculous and you;re being immature like come one now

So really then... why is she an ex? There must be SOME reason, right?

And you are being unfair to this other girl... very unfair. Stringing her along while you think about your ex.

[Wondergirl]

This may not even be your ex. How do you know it's her?

[Sinquisitive]

... So, if she's not an ex for a reason, then she's an ex for no reason? So you guys just looked at each other one day and said "man we have the perfect relationship- let's just break up for giggles, teehee!" and that was that? Okay, cool, then why don't you just get back together and stop asking silly questions that you don't want to hear realistic answers to?

[Cat1864]

you are wrong so very wrong that's not the situation at all...

How am I wrong?

Understand that I am not saying you shouldn't or don't have feelings for her. You are human and emotions do not go away at the snap of your fingers. However, those feelings should not be allowed to influence your thinking and attempts to let go and heal. They need to be allowed to fade and take their place among the treasured memories that have shaped you into the person you are and that you will carry with you as build your future.

I don't want to hurt either of them and of course I'm gonna want my ex back if she wants me back, but I don't want to risk anything causing the girl I'm seeing to hate me and I definitely don't want my ex being hurt, or hating me again, or even more.

If you still are thinking about going back to your ex if she wants you back, then you are holding on too tightly to the memories. You are posting here and apparently on Ask.fm about missing her and wanting her back. That is putting energy (mental, emotional and physical) into something that you should be distancing yourself from especially if you are dating someone new. Someone who probably thinks you want to build up to a relationship with her. Whether you accept the responsibility for it or not, you are hurting the new female. Does she know you are obsessed with your ex?

Yes, you are. You wrote posts on a website talking abut your ex and have built a fantasy of her responding and liking your posts. It is a fantasy because you do not know if the person liking your posts is an 80 year old grandfather remembering his first heartbreak or 12 year old tween swooning over the idea of someone missing her. Someone could 'like' your posts on here and it wouldn't mean it was Her.

Of course there is a chance she could be wondering how you are doing and might be entertaining the thought of getting back together. People do that. It doesn't mean they should. And they definitely shouldn't until the past has been dealt with.

If you are afraid of her hating you again or more, then there is a lot of unresolved issues on your own part. Have you learned from the past? Are you past the danger of over-compensating to make up for what happened?

Are you showing the same behaviors with the current female that you did in the past?