[mogrann]

I am not posting this to make anyone feel bad so please realize this is my issue and mine alone. I am being vague about what was said due to it not really an issue. My issue is skill use and lowering my high emotions and anxiety.

What skill do I use when one thing has been said about me that is hurtful and I start looking at everyone as talking about me or thinking bad things. I know check the facts but that is not working. High emotions as I am going back and forth from Everyone is saying stuff about you to Susan you are freaking crazy get a grip. Negative coping mechanisms are being thought about.. I am able to say I will not use them. Really stupid thing about that is the way I am thinking of them.. I will use this to show the other person how much they have hurt me. I have always prided myself on not blackmailing others with myself injury so that thought is totally nuts.

Anxiety is high emotions are high. I don't know what to do. I will say this has me concerned that I MAY backpedal. I don't want to and will keep trying but the fear is there.

[joypulv]

I've had some tough times here. Most were very early on, and I brought them on myself, so I won't even go back that far. They do still happen from time to time.
I persist. I persist because I like it here. Some of the nicest people I've ever 'met,' and I enjoy researching and giving out advice, and last but not least, I'm lonely.

So now to skills. I go climb under the covers and run through retaliation, resignation, and 'I'll disappear and they'll be sorry.' Then I dust off my keyboard and do whatever it takes to either defend myself, apologize, or do more research. 'Check the facts' as you say is LAST in my book, after I have run the gamut of emotion. I'm emotional. You should see me on Facebook, arguing about politics and guns and who knows what. When it gets out of hand I try to end on a big SIGH or GROAN or 'I'm never getting into this subject again' or 'I think I'll go to sleep for a few days.' If I can think of something funny, I say that. I have always wanted to be funny in the face of adversity.
I work hard on it because it means more to me to struggle than to go away.

As for hurting someone as much as they have hurt you? Fantasize about it in 3D and Technicolor and Surroundsound long enough that it goes away. If you feel guilty about the fantasy, you start wanting to take it out on yourself.

[Wondergirl]

Appear confident. Know that you are the opposite of what is being said. We all here validate you. Validate yourself too. Remove yourself from the stressor(s) and self soothe physically and mentally and musically and by reading or doing something enjoyable such as cooking or baking. Take a mental "vacation."

[mogrann]

My worry about the I'll disappear and they will be sorry or the I will self injure to show how much I am hurting is I will end up back at the beginning of my journey and have to start all over again. For me the fear of that can be all consuming.

[mogrann]

Self soothe may help... take a mini vacation is a skill. Which will help bring emotions down and I can be in wise mind to then figure out the rest.
I will say this over and over
I am so glad I found this site. You all have a part in my journey to have a life worth living, becoming a better pet owner for my cats and dog and all the other help you have given me. Owen sends puppy kisses to you all too. :) Thank you Joy for validating what I posted and WG for the mini vacation idea.. now off to play some WoW (it is one of myself soothes).

[Wondergirl]

WG for the mini vacation idea.. now off to play some WoW (it is one of my self soothes).

Yay, mogrann! *kissies* to Owen. Lose yourself and wallow in WoW. I used to lose myself in Atari games until to a.m. :) Now I lose myself in editing books for people and in various websites.

[joypulv]

I play a lot of online Scrabble. And watch TV at the same time.

[mogrann]

Joy I have dual monitors so can play wow and surf the web. I also can watch listen to TV at the same time.