[jjclassic]

I've been depressed before. It took me a month to get out of my funk. I drank a lot to cope and I wrote in a journal while intoxicated. I was at a very low point and I felt like I couldn't get a grip. I would read what I wrote when I was sober and couldn't believe the things I was saying. Suicidal thoughts, thoughts of being worthless and uselesss. I felt like if I didn't live, it wouldn't change a thing. I'm usually a very happy, bubbly person but when it comes to confronting my thoughts and fears, I panic. The last time I got out of the depression was because I was so tired of drinking all the time and feeling pathetic. I was tired of fighting with myself, convincing myself everyday life is worth it, because I knew it was. I was getting annoyed with myself so I changed my outlook and ripped out the pages that were dark and never looked back.

3 years later, I'm hear again. But for different reasons. I broke up with someone I thought was the love of my life. When we broke up, I was devastated. He was someone I would do anything for. I couldn't go to work without crying on my way to work, at work, leaving work. I couldn't hang out with my friends without talking about him or being sad. Some days I just lie in bed all day. I wasn't showering, I lost my appetite and started drinking heavily. I couldn't take it anymore so I moved back home to try and cope. I was still depressed but things were getting a little better. He and I started talking again and things were hopeful. I went to visit him and things were fine.
Until one night we got in an argument and things turned violent. I've never been abused by him before or by anyone else for that matter. I never thought I was in any danger. But this man wanted to hurt me and he did. Bad. I felt worthless, weak and insecure. I was already feeling insecure from the break up and not being able to find a job. But when he beat me, I felt even worse. I was confused and scared. I still am. I was in shock at first and felt a little dazed. When I left the next day, I had to hide my bruises and cuts from everyone and lied saying I fell while drunk. This just happened 4 days ago. I'm feeling like a worthless human. I have no goals, no motivation, no confidence. I'm scared that I'm not going to get through it this time. It's a beautiful day out and all I keep asking is "what is wrong with you?'" I was always able to see the positive side of things and be optimistic. Now I don't have the energy or the will. I haven't felt this low, ever. Thoughts of just giving up are constantly threating my life. I need help coping with my life right now but I don't know how or who to talk to. Its not enough for me to convince myself it's going to be OK. Its too much for me to handle on my own. Im going on 3 months of feeling this way until the recent activity which heightened my depression and anxiety. I want help but I'm scared to confide in anyone. Please, I need some guidance.

[maxinealonso]

Depression and anxiety are disorders of the brain. Many people feel that they suffer from occasional depression. To feel sad all the time every day is a problem that should be diagnosed by a psychiatrist or therapist. If you are scared of confiding in someone else, try going to group meetings for people who have been abused domestically.

From a personal perspective, I have been through all kinds of things in life (who hasn't), but I know that some things that help me. To sit at home sleeping, eating, or drinking will worsen your pain. Alcohol is a depressant that will increase your depression. Please either stop drinking, or get help for alcoholism. When I am feeling like giving up or that life isn't worth living, I go on a run. Sometimes this will not help because I am lazy, don't want to run, or it is raining or snowing out. Instead, you can also try something easy and thoughtless. Pick up a coloring book for 5-year-olds and color until you feel better. You will feel silly doing it at first, but as you do it, you will forget your pain. It poses as a distraction. Music can help as well. Juts make sure you are not listening to depressing or serious music. This can worsen your feelings. Make sure the music is upbeat and encouraging.

Interactions with friends and family is important. A true friend will not be angry at you for constantly talking about your pain. They will understand what you are going through and offer encouragement or advice. Family is also a good support system (they do not have to be blood for them to be family - friends are great family sometimes).

I hope this helped.

[N0help4u]

You need to find the inner strength, you can't let relationships or lack of relationships make you or break you. The best feeling is knowing you have made a life for yourself. Watch people that made their life the way they wanted it. They looked at their life, figured out where they wanted to go from there and went for their goal. Then everything started falling in place. When you are looking for someone to make you happy you will be let down. Like Maxine said, find hobbies and talents and work on them. Take you journal and pick a few things from them and turn them into something poetic. Edgar Allen Poe, Vincent Van Gogh, Ludwig Von Beethoven and Winston Churchill suffered depression along with a lot of great writers and artists.
Also vitamins and supplements can help with depression. Vitamin B complex in the morning and magnesium and potassium at bedtime can help. Chamomile tea with some honey is soothing as well.

[KOF]

What down in a journal what your dream like looks like, take one page for your personal life, one page for your financial, and one for your relationships significant other or otherwise. Then each day right down 1 action you can take for each part section in order to get closer to your dream life. On day 2 try taking 2 actions for each part of your life. It's exciting to see your progress by checking those things off each day :)

I wish you the best best,
Nathan

[jjclassic]

Depression and anxiety are disorders of the brain. Many people feel that they suffer from occasional depression. To feel sad all the time every day is a problem that should be diagnosed by a psychiatrist or therapist. If you are scared of confiding in someone else, try going to group meetings for people who have been abused domestically.

From a personal perspective, I have been through all kinds of things in life (who hasn't), but I know that some things that help me. To sit at home sleeping, eating, or drinking will worsen your pain. Alcohol is a depressant that will increase your depression. Please either stop drinking, or get help for alcoholism. When I am feeling like giving up or that life isn't worth living, I go on a run. Sometimes this will not help because I am lazy, don't want to run, or it is raining or snowing out. Instead, you can also try something easy and thoughtless. Pick up a coloring book for 5-year-olds and color until you feel better. You will feel silly doing it at first, but as you do it, you will forget your pain. It poses as a distraction. Music can help as well. Juts make sure you are not listening to depressing or serious music. This can worsen your feelings. Make sure the music is upbeat and encouraging.

Interactions with friends and family is important. A true friend will not be angry at you for constantly talking about your pain. They will understand what you are going through and offer encouragement or advice. Family is also a good support system (they do not have to be blood for them to be family - friends are great family sometimes).

I hope this helped.

it has helped. I appreciate the advice. Even though I don't know you and I wasn't too detailed, it's nice to know people are willing to help and offer words of comfort and wisdom. I will try your suggestions. They sound positive and productive. Thank you again

[jjclassic]

You need to find the inner strength, you can't let relationships or lack of relationships make you or break you. The best feeling is knowing you have made a life for yourself. Watch people that made their life the way they wanted it. They looked at their life, figured out where they wanted to go from there and went for their goal. Then everything started falling in place. When you are looking for someone to make you happy you will be let down. Like Maxine said, find hobbies and talents and work on them. Take you journal and pick a few things from them and turn them into something poetic. Edgar Allen Poe, Vincent Van Gogh, Ludwig Von Beethoven and Winston Churchill suffered depression along with a lot of great writers and artists.
Also vitamins and supplements can help with depression. Vitamin B complex in the morning and magnesium and potassium at bedtime can help. Chamomile tea with some honey is soothing as well.

Thank you also. I've never been in a serious relationship before him. I dated him for 2 years and lived with him. It wasn't until the end that he started to make me feel unappreciated and insecure. I have come a long way with my confidence and loving myself and loving the people I surround myself with. But when this happened, it destroyed me. I never saw it coming. I feel like its all my fault and that I'm not worthy. I know I shouldn't see it that way but I can't convince myself its any different. I tried writing today but I stopped mid entry because flashes of us happy together popped in my head then they got interrupted by the horrific night I experienced. Upset with myself that it happened, I slept for hours but the dreams caused for an uneasy rest. This depression episode is different from the last because 3 years ago it was about family matters and betrayal of a best friend whom I trusted like family.but the emotions are all too similar. I will try the regiments you've suggested. I appreciate the advice.thank you much.