[starrynightz45]

We're both 24, and in grad school. We were friends for a while, and then we started dating. We dated for about a month and a half(no sex, he didn't try at all). We did the typical things - movies, dinner, etc. He has a VERY blunt personality and manner of speaking (for example - he invited me over to his home on one date, and flat out told me that he was not inviting me because he was trying to have sex with me, and he was being honest). He does lack a little tact in general, and doesn't seem to work well with or understand feelings.I also knew he had very little experience in relationships. In fact, he's only had 1 girlfriend and the relationship only lasted 3 months.

When we first started dating, he knew I'd just gotten out of a relationship and asked what I was looking for. I told him a relationship - and he said it "took him a while to get there and make up his mind" about something like that. Thinking he obviously needed time to get to know me better, I agreed that this made sense. In reality, I think he meant he didn't even really know if he wanted a relationship.

Anyway, as far as I could tell, we had a great time together and a great connection. Out of nowhere, he called me one day and said that the way things were going, he felt that it was leading to "something" and he didn't think he could "commit to anything" and didn't want to hurt me. He also mentioned that he really does have feelings for me, and also got me a birthday gift (my birthday was over 2 months away at the time). Since I was shocked, I just said that was fine and got off the phone. For the next two months, I didn't call/text him, and he didn't contact me either. I assumed that most likely, he was just turning me down politely and that he didn't like me after dating me for a while. But since he is so blunt, part of me thought he might have been genuine. Either way, I let it go.

Yesterday, the day before our new semester begins, and about 2 weeks before my birthday, he texted me asking which professor I had for some class. I responded, and he sent me photos of 3 of his paintings, asking me which one I'd like for my birthday gift (so I guess he still remembered my birthday). I told him he didn't have to give me anything, but he responded that he wanted to, and that I should accept one of the paintings. So, I said thanks and picked one of the pieces. That was around 11pm on Monday, and he didn't respond to my text until midnight on Tuesday (this is unlike him, he usually responds in an hour or 2 at the most). I sent him a text back tonight around 7pm (yes I intentionally delayed answering because he took so long to responds) and kept it at "ok thank you." I assume he'll have to text back at some point to arrange for us to meet.

I'm just confused - I never once contacted him after he told me he didn't want a relationship. He contacted me... and now I can't figure out why? Is he just trying to be friends? Or is he possibly trying to show that he was genuine about having feelings for me, but he just isn't ready for a relationship? I'm confused and not sure what to do. It just seems strange that he'd not only remember my birthday after all this time, but offer to give me one of his paintings. If he was just not into me, then why bother reaching out to give me a gift after 2 months? We weren't really close friends prior to dating. I'm just lost and don't get it anymore.

[Homegirl 50]

Didn't you post this earlier?

[N0help4u]

Yes and I am wondering if this is the same guy she asked about in a question before that one.

[joypulv]

You got 7 answers, but asked about 7 hours later? I think all answers you get are going to be similar - you have to find out from him.
You asked about him in June, and were confused then too.
You asked for a tarot reading, which suggests to me that you think there are answers somewhere that you can't get by simple communication.

I'm going out on a limb here and guessing, just guessing, that this man wants more feeling out of you before he will let himself out of his shell. He wants you to miss him, contact him, really like his paintings, tell him you really do like him a lot. Not fair to you, of course, but if you do like him, will you give it some effort? Or figure out how to tell him that relationship development is a two way street, and that you expect some feeling from him too? It almost seems that both of you are equally reticent and are never going to get off the ground.