Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    worriedstepmom's Avatar
    worriedstepmom Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:21 PM
    Can me and my husband keep my step-son from his mother?
    My step son is 5years old. My husband and his mother have no court visitation set up, and he had a paternity test done when he was born. She has no job, lives with her dad and spent a couple months in jail last year for heroin. Has also had a constant warrant for her arrest since 17 (is 24). If she wants to pick him up, do I have to let her take him? Or can I refuse her parental time?
    worriedstepmom's Avatar
    worriedstepmom Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #2

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:25 PM
    I live in Michigan if that helps
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #3

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:31 PM
    No, you can't, not without going to court.
    By you, I mean your husband. You can't do anything yourself.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:53 PM
    This could turn nasty very quickly - why no Court ordered visitation/custody?

    Not getting who/what/when there in writing can become a very big issue.

    And, unfortunately, you have nothing legally to do with the situation. The father needs to take action.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #5

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:58 PM
    You have no power here. You cannot do anything.

    Your husband has to go to court to establish custody and visitation. Right now, the 2 parents have equal rights since there are no court orders detailing custody and visitation. If she shows up and you refuse to hand over the child, she can call the police, show the birth certificate listing her as the mother and the police will, in all likelihood, force you to turn the child over. And she can keep the child and not allow visitation to the father since I see nothing in your post establishing him as the legal father.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    Aug 4, 2013, 04:07 PM
    Your husband needs to get a custody arrangement set up. IF he can prove she is a danger, not just unstable, then he can request supervised visits. IF he likes the set up the way it is then nothing can be done. Its not your place to refuse or buck their system. Its not up to you to let or not let. That can only cause problems between you and your husband. What things concern you about your son's relationship with the mother aside from her record, instability and your own personal dislike of the situation?
    Oh, not to mention, the son could grow up hating your interference, because it has been proven that many kids have a bond with their parents even in the worse case scenerio's
    worriedstepmom's Avatar
    worriedstepmom Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Aug 4, 2013, 04:33 PM
    Its both of us that don't like him going with her. What concerns us is how she is raising him. I wasn't looking for anyone's personal opinions on my situation. Just the legalities

    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Your husband needs to get a custody arrangement set up. IF he can prove she is a danger, not just unstable, then he can request supervised visits. IF he likes the set up the way it is then nothing can be done. Its not your place to refuse or buck their system. Its not up to you to let or not let. That can only cause problems between you and your husband. What things concern you about your son's relationship with the mother aside from her record, instability and your own personal dislike of the situation?
    Oh, not to mention, the son could grow up hating your interference, because it has been proven that many kids have a bond with their parents even in the worse case scenerio's
    worriedstepmom's Avatar
    worriedstepmom Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Aug 4, 2013, 04:41 PM
    He is the legal father. That is what I meant by him getting the paternity test done to prove he was the father.
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    You have no power here. You cannot do anything.

    Your husband has to go to court to establish custody and visitation. Right now, the 2 parents have equal rights since there are no court orders detailing custody and visitation. If she shows up and you refuse to hand over the child, she can call the police, show the birth certificate listing her as the mother and the police will, in all likelihood, force you to turn the child over. And she can keep the child and not allow visitation to the father since I see nothing in your post establishing him as the legal father.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #9

    Aug 4, 2013, 04:45 PM
    If he has a problem with it then HE needs to tell her ''see you in court''. Have it documented everything that she does with the son that concerns you *& husband. If the sons behavior is worse after having been with her and how. If the court sees it a concern they can grant her supervised visits. If they don't see her as a problem then it is possible that she could get weekends and some holidays, If she is refused visits she could easily apply for full custody with husbands rights to visitations and seek child support as well.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #10

    Aug 4, 2013, 05:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by worriedstepmom View Post
    He is the legal father. That is what i meant by him getting the paternity test done to prove he was the father.
    Getting a paternity test doesn't make one the legal father. The test has be ordered (or accepted) by a court AND a court has to award paternity.

    No one has been giving you "personal opinions on my situation", the answers have cited the law. And the law is that you have no legal standing. The law is also that, absent any court orders for custody and visitation, both legal parents have equal rights.

    So if you are both concerned about leaving the child with the mother, then he goes to court to establish custody and visitation.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #11

    Aug 4, 2013, 05:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Oh, not to mention, the son could grow up hating your interference, because it has been proven that many kids have a bond with their parents even in the worse case scenerio's
    I think this was the opinion. I wasn't sure where the dad stood on all this

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

My ex husband left my step son with [ 2 Answers ]

I have raised my 10 yr old step son since he was 5 months old I have also raised my husbands sisters kids since they were 3 months and 13 months old I have had all 3 children for 10 yrs my husband has walked out on us 3 times in the last 5 yrs he has left all 3 children including his bio son each...

My step-son's mother is consitantly causing drama and harassing my husband & boss [ 1 Answers ]

So, my step-son's mother is starting rumors that I am stalking her because I got hired in to a place where she used to work. I never knew her before I met my husband, but now she calls and harasses him and is starting to send "people" to my place of employment to harass my boss too. I think that...

Husband adopting step son [ 3 Answers ]

I was reading another lady's question about her husband adopting his non biological son. My question is very similar, however, my question is... the biological father was never there, NEVER signed the birth certificate, and my son has MY maiden name, and I have NO idea where this guy is to even...

Adopting step son; mother abandonded [ 3 Answers ]

The father and I are not married, but we have lived together and have two other children in our relationship. Our oldest son came with dad and mom abandonded 6.5 years ago. She calls him once in a while and that is about it. She moved to CT and has stayed there ever since she left. She has not...

Husband wants to adopt step-son [ 6 Answers ]

My son is 5 years old and his biological father is in jail and has been since I was 6 months pregnant. My new husband came into our lives when he was 10 months old and has since been his only father. Well after many years of discussing it we have decided for him to adopt him and my son legally be...


View more questions Search