Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    anko's Avatar
    anko Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 26, 2007, 07:16 AM
    I think my kids hate each other
    My two kids, age 9 and 5 are fighting so much lately. They hit scratch and scream at each other. My daughter even made the comment that she hopes her brother gets bit by a snake because I had him get out of some bushes he was in. but I will say they do have some good moments. Is this normal? Or should I seek professional help. they even get angry with me.
    vlee's Avatar
    vlee Posts: 454, Reputation: 109
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Mar 26, 2007, 07:30 AM
    I think it is totally normal. Kids fight with each other, always have, always will. They are impatient with one another, aggressive, and downright mean at times. But, these are the practice years too... kids are beginning to react to things like anger, and fear. This is when they learn what works and what doesn't. They learn what provokes others, what stops them from being teased, etc... This is not to say that hitting should go unpunished, but really you can't intervene in everything. Unless you are trying to describe children who have severe outbursts and physically fight for the sole purpose of inflicting pain (not fighting over a toy, etc.. ) I think it is probably just a normal part of growing up.
    Lord_Darkclaw's Avatar
    Lord_Darkclaw Posts: 295, Reputation: 38
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Mar 26, 2007, 07:32 AM
    It's normal in so much as it's very common, but yes, get some help if you can afford it.
    There's something going on that is causing them emotional problems and it's not going to go away by itself -ever.
    i_LoVE_jUnIoR's Avatar
    i_LoVE_jUnIoR Posts: 8, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #4

    Mar 26, 2007, 07:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by anko
    my two kids, age 9 and 5 are fighting so much lately. they hit scratch and scream at each other. my daughter even made the comment that she hopes her brother gets bit by a snake because i had him get out of some bushes he was in. but i will say they do have some good moments. is this normal? or should i seek professional help.? they even get angry with me.
    I'm not really an expert but
    I think that it is normal
    Little kids always fight
    They'll get ove rit when they grow up !
    iAMfromHuntersBar's Avatar
    iAMfromHuntersBar Posts: 943, Reputation: 146
    Senior Member
     
    #5

    Mar 26, 2007, 07:57 AM
    This is totally normally, I have a brother 5 years younger than me and we used to fight ALL the time, so violently that he once stuck a fork in my forehead and I regularly remember say I wished he was dead (especially when I became a sulky teenager!)

    We've grown up now and I love him to bits, we don't fight any more (he'd kick my a$$!) either!

    I think sibling rivalry is all a part of growing up and asserting yourself as a person!

    I actually feel sorry for only children who don't have anyone to fight with!
    robertsqueen's Avatar
    robertsqueen Posts: 376, Reputation: 43
    Full Member
     
    #6

    Mar 26, 2007, 08:44 AM
    This is normal. Me and sister when we were younger used to fight like cats and dogs One time she slammed a trunk on my head. Now we are best friends. I don't think that you need professonal help.
    Lord_Darkclaw's Avatar
    Lord_Darkclaw Posts: 295, Reputation: 38
    Full Member
     
    #7

    Mar 26, 2007, 11:05 AM
    When I was a kid, I hated my sister. Now I'm an adult, and she's married with children, I still don't like her.

    I don't care what anyone says, when children fight it is just as serious as when adults fight.
    TheSavage's Avatar
    TheSavage Posts: 564, Reputation: 96
    Senior Member
     
    #8

    Mar 26, 2007, 02:24 PM
    Lol my brother whacked me In the head with a brick -- normal sibling rivalry. -- Savage
    Squiffy's Avatar
    Squiffy Posts: 499, Reputation: 84
    Full Member
     
    #9

    Mar 26, 2007, 02:26 PM
    My kids are 4 and 5, and act like they are each others worst enemies at times. My son, the 4 year old, regularly tells us al that he wishes his sister would disappear, and she beats ten bells out og him and yells that she hates him.

    Yet every night they fall asleep in bed with each other, and when they go to their separate schools, neither will leave without giving the other a big kiss and a cuddle.

    Kids eh!
    Lord_Darkclaw's Avatar
    Lord_Darkclaw Posts: 295, Reputation: 38
    Full Member
     
    #10

    Mar 26, 2007, 03:05 PM
    Why don't people take it seriously? Do kids have to bludgeon each other to death before someone says "oops, maybe we shoulda broke em up sooner?"
    TheSavage's Avatar
    TheSavage Posts: 564, Reputation: 96
    Senior Member
     
    #11

    Mar 26, 2007, 03:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Darkclaw
    Why don't ppl take it seriously? do kids have to bludgeon each other to death before someone says "oops, maybe we shoulda broke em up sooner?"
    Its really not that we do not take it seriously, its just most of us where the same way at that age,and see it as part of growing up.
    I am the oldest of 3 boys. Rick is 2 years younger than I and we fought like cats and dogs,but if someone else messed with either of us the Savages would be coming.Rick and I are very close though even though see each other seldom due to distance.
    George is 6 years younger than I so really I paid him little attention growing up, and of course we never got into a fight. He lives 20 miles from me and we hardly know each other,and really do not get along that well when we have to do family things together.
    Odd as it seems to some extent fighting brought rick n I closer. -- Savage
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
    Ultra Member
     
    #12

    Mar 26, 2007, 04:05 PM
    LD, although you know I love you, I don't totally agree with you on this one. The operative word here is totally. You need to look a little closer at her posting. She says that they do have their good moments. When you have kids, with that age difference especially, the older one resents the younger one. The younger one gets mad at the older one for being so bossy. Unless one of them is torturing and killing animals or is rigging up intricate systems to dismember their sibling, outside help in the form of a counselor, really isn't needed. Mom has to be smart about this.

    anko, it may serve you well to check out your local bookstore and peruse the parenting section. There are many child psychologists that have written books. If you have one of those big box bookstores like Barnes & Nobles or Bordersbooks, those are the best places to go. Buy yourself a cup of java, pick a few books, sit down and take a long look at them, all the while enjoying a nice beverage. The great thing about those places is that you can sit as long as you want without anyone telling you to leave. Once you find one or two books that you like, buy them and read them. They will offer constructive advice as to how to handle them when they are "unkind" to each other.

    By the way, I hated my older brother. He lit my hair on fire once, among a vast assortment of other torturous acts. I once gave him a knife to use when he wanted to see how the electrical socket worked. The electricity, of course, was still on at full force. :eek: But I think I can be excused for that one. I was only 3 at the time.

    I still don't like the guy too much. But, as we get older, we find common ground and get along a lot better. When he starts his crap, I pretend to listen. This way, he can say whatever he wants and I don't ever remember it. Both of us are happy.
    emilylips's Avatar
    emilylips Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #13

    Mar 31, 2007, 02:42 PM
    Lord Darkclaw my question is do you have kids? I have 3 daughters and the 2 older ones fight all the time, but hate being apart from each other. When I was a kid my brother and I fought like mad. Now as adults he is someone I really look up to and talk to several times a month. I think sibling rivalry is normal. I think it is maddening at times, but one day we will be able to look back and thank god we all made it through. Hang in there ! It's the sweet moments they have with each other that outweigh all the fighting.
    zelda's Avatar
    zelda Posts: 83, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Mar 31, 2007, 05:22 PM
    Its natural . When I was little my sister tried to drown me... one is jealous of the other
    Kriscool's Avatar
    Kriscool Posts: 65, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Apr 1, 2007, 09:06 PM
    To the earlier posts.

    I was tackled and almost got shot with a BB gun and beaten with a SHARP stick. I'm about 5 years older at that time so I just pushed him down and ran away.

    LOL I've got the scar to prove it. (not really)

    Kriscool


    Also its very very normal for kids to eat at each. Still have punishments though.
    MaxyWelsh's Avatar
    MaxyWelsh Posts: 18, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #16

    Apr 4, 2007, 04:06 AM
    I have two children 7 and 10. I have had to introduce special consequneces for hitting one another. I make it VERY clear that this is not an acceptable way of getting what you want and I try to teach them alternate ways of making their views known.
    The consequence of hitting their brother or sister was to miss out on osmething that they enjoyed (usually TV time).
    Having said this, they still hit one another sometimes, but it gets better as they get older.
    Sibling rivalry is VERY normal (but still a very frustrating part of being a parent). I agree with everyone who has said it is a matter of perspective. If they DO have their good times I think they are OK.
    keepnsane's Avatar
    keepnsane Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #17

    Nov 30, 2011, 08:05 PM
    Well, what my kids tell me now that they are grown is that my interventions, especially the "tell your sister you are sorry" and trying to figure out who was telling the truth & not only made things much worse... I didn't know that it is pretty normal for kids to fight, try to separate them so they calm down & that no one is really bullied, and let them (as dysfunctional as it looks) let them work things out... because the alternative is that they end up hating each other & you "mom always like you best!"... Super nanny seems to have a lot of episodes that may fix other problems in the family, their could be other problems and her solutions seem to be uplifting & doable even with kids that are initially out of control... I'd look into that show

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Why Does everyone hate me? [ 18 Answers ]

Hi,My name is Ricardo. I'm 16 and live with my 2 older brothers and my father in Ireland. My mum died when when I was 8. When she did my dad sent me away to boarding school. But my brothers got to stay. I came home start of this year. When I did my brother was married and so was my dad they...

I Think My Kids Hate me [ 16 Answers ]

I have 3 grown children, who have families of their own. My oldest son ( 29 ) and my youngest daughyer ( 25 ) are mean and disrespectful too me. It hurts a lot.My son says things that make me feel stupid and my daughter yells at me and calls me names. When she's mad, she keeps my 3 year old...

Why does everyone hate me. [ 5 Answers ]

I woke up this morning because my older brother was shoving a chocolate muffin into my mouth... after I was up he told me to shut up and leave the house cause I was a fat sack of crap... then my friend since 3rd grade told me she hated me... and last my brother's friend called me a fagget and put...

Would they hate me? [ 14 Answers ]

I am gay. Nobody knows it. Don't know what will happen it I tell someone (freinds/family) Good chance my parents would kick me out. Also good chance that my & friends won't talk to me. Pleez respond...

Don't you hate it when... [ 13 Answers ]

Don't you hate it when you have a friend that you enjoy hanging out with, but they are so insecure about their appearance, that they rip on every girl that walks by that is somewhat attractive (even ones that aren't at all) and can't stand it when a girl even says "hi" to her husband. It makes me...


View more questions Search