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chuchris129 · Jul 25, 2013, 05:45 AM

Hi, I really hope someone can help me in this situation. The girl I had a crush on broke up with her boyfriend last month and her boyfriend is an a**hole. We were good friends and she nearly told me everything. She also finds me when she's upset or scare (she's scared of thunder). However, after she broke up with her boyfriend, I asked her out and tried to make her feel better, but then I found out that I actually fell in love with her and she's more than a friend in my mind. Then I asked her out more often and she was willing to hang out with me. We had quite close physical contacts (not kiss or holding hands, but normal friends will definitely won't do those).

However in the start of this week, she suddenly stayed away from me and blocked my whatsapp. Then I called her and see what happened. She said she feels that she told me too much and she miss her ex. Then I asked her did she ever fall in love with me. She said she doesn't know. I think she probably did fall in love with me but can't get rid of her ex, because their relationship is quite complicated. It's like, not really dating, but they liked each other. The "break up" I mentioned is like, the guy dated another girl. She asked me to give her some time and she'll find me when she's ready.

What I want to know is, should I really wait until she finds me, or I should find her in September? I'm really confuse and don't know what to do. Please some experts help. (she's still blocking my whatsapp)

N0help4u · Jul 25, 2013, 06:20 AM

Be there in the background for her. Right now she needs time to adjust and work things out in her own heart and mind. She hasn't had time to get over him and move on or decide to go back with him. Tell her you are there for her and she didn't tell you too much because that's what friends are for. Let her know she can come to you with any problem. Friends don't expect anything in return so you have to let go of 'in hopes of... ' and maybe in time it may come to more.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 25, 2013, 07:21 AM

You circled her like a vulture and pounced when she broke up, that is a big mistake. At least give the girl time to heal.
I'd say you have always been in friend zone to her but you wanted more. Leave her alone. She might go back to her ex, she is definitely not over him and you would just be the crying shoulder, plus I think you freaked her out with your wanting to date her right away. Back way off it it is too painful to just be friends because it sounds like you are in friend zone.

chuchris129 · Jul 28, 2013, 07:14 PM

However, she suddenly sent me a message yesterday and say sorry about blocking me and she overreacted... What does that mean and how should I reply?

Wondergirl · Jul 28, 2013, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by chuchris129

However, she suddenly sent me a message yesterday and say sorry about blocking me and she overreacted... What does that mean and how should I reply?

She still wants to be friends. Do you want to be her back-up boyfriend who will get dumped when she decides to go back to the ex? Wait it out. Friend zone for now.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 28, 2013, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by chuchris129

However, she suddenly sent me a message yesterday and say sorry about blocking me and she overreacted... What does that mean and how should I reply?

I'd wait it out. Her emotions are all over the place and yours are raw in that you want her. Step way back. Get your feelings under control and let her deal wit her issues. You don't want to be her backup

talaniman · Jul 28, 2013, 08:12 PM

Originally Posted by chuchris129

However, she suddenly sent me a message yesterday and say sorry about blocking me and she overreacted... What does that mean and how should I reply?

It mean friends only and that's it. You were friend before and probably always will be.

chuchris129 · Jul 28, 2013, 09:57 PM

But the first place is what should I reply? I typed "um…it's ok. i know it's a bit sudden lol" and no reply...

April5 · Jul 28, 2013, 11:19 PM

Originally Posted by chuchris129

But the first place is what should I reply? I typed "um…it's ok. i know it's a bit sudden lol" and no reply...

Say something along the lines of: "It's fine, I probably shouldn't have asked you out, I know you're hurting. Just know I'm there for you."

I get the feeling that now, since she knows how you feel, there won't be any blocks in your relationship if she starts liking you. If she gets another boyfriend, be the supportive guy friend who threatens to break the bf's face if he hurts the girl. We girls love that.

Just back off for now, let her get over the ex, be the shoulder to cry on, have a Ben & Jerry's party, watch chick flicks, let her spend some time with her girl friends, and when she's ready, she'll come back. She's probably feeling really confused and weirded out. Believe me, I've had almost exactly the same thing happen to me with my best guy friend, and now, we're dating! Good luck, and remember: FRIENDZONE!

chuchris129 · Jul 29, 2013, 12:30 AM

Originally Posted by April5

Say something along the lines of: "It's fine, I probably shouldn't have asked you out, I know you're hurting. Just know I'm there for you."

I get the feeling that now, since she knows how you feel, there won't be any blocks in your relationship if she starts liking you. If she gets another bf, be the supportive guy friend who threatens to break the bf's face if he hurts the girl. We girls love that.

Just back off for now, let her get over the ex, be the shoulder to cry on, have a Ben & Jerry's party, watch chick flicks, let her spend some time with her girl friends, and when she's ready, she'll come back. She's probably feeling really confused and weirded out. Believe me, I've had almost exactly the same thing happen to me with my best guy friend, and now, we're dating! Good luck, and remember: FRIENDZONE!

Actually at this moment, I don't expect she would fall in love with me in a short time.. I just want to help her to get over her ex. Anyway, I'm a good friend with her best friend.. What can I do to help her? By the way, can I add your Facebook so I can ask you directly?

joypulv · Jul 29, 2013, 04:24 AM

What can I do to help her? - You have done all you can do. As everyone is saying, let her contact you.
Can I add your Facebook so I can ask you directly? (not allowed here, sorry, all conversation is anonymous and public)

talaniman · Jul 29, 2013, 05:30 AM

If you cannot be JUST a friend, then you better leave her alone. I know the need to help her through a hard time but if you are doing it so she can see what a great guy you are and give you a chance for romance then your love has a selfish motive. And didn't you try that during her break up?

I am afraid any help you give will result in gratitude, not romance. And she will not want that kind of help from you so your reply is that you understand what she is going through, and offer your support if she wants it. She needs a friend, not a future boyfriend, nor the burden of a friend wanting more than friendship.

Enjoy your summer and let her enjoy hers. No more plans for romance with this one for sure. Or high hopes either. Accept this situation for what it is, bad timing and cope with your disappointment that it brings. If you cannot you will only poison a good friendship.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 29, 2013, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by chuchris129

But the first place is what should I reply? I typed "um…it's ok. i know it's a bit sudden lol" and no reply...

She did not reply because there was no need to. This girl will only be "friend" If you can't handle that, leave the picture. Don't hand around being the shoulder to cry on. That is just weak and tacky. Have some pride and get on with your life.