[flower81]

Hi all!
Its been a while since I posted but I'm back again!

My man and I haven't spoke since Sat evening. Well here goes :-

Sat late afternoon I got my period and when I get my period I'm very much in pain and become extra sensitive that I know.
My man was playing loud music and he knows how I can't sleep when music is loud, I asked him to lower it while I go to bed to rest for an 1hr, he did lower it but very slightly, so I didn't sleep I just snoozed, as I got up 1 hr later, he was on sofa fast asleep! So I'm pain but he falls asleep, OK, I know that isn't his fault.
Anhyhow, later that evening he woke up but didn't move from the sofa, it was 8pm and we were both hungry, but the lazy a** didn't even get up to cook dinner, so I got up to do it myself. I asked him to help me, but he just didn't move from the sofa... that so annoyed me, I'm in agony but I still get up and cook for his royal highness. After we ate, he didn't even say THANK YOU!! How rude!
I was so upset, annoyed and angry too!

Anyway... we didn't speak all evening I went to bed at 11pm, got up on Sunday and started to tidy up the kitchen. He wakes up at noon, makes himself some soup, doesn't even offer me any lunch!! Then 30mins later he says I'm popping out for abit... and off he goes!
He came back in afternoon, and I told him I thought he was acting really rude and he was ungrateful... but he didn't say anything!

This morning he woke up for work and left no bye nothing!!

What is wrong with him??

This was all sudden... till Fri all was fine...

[kp2171]

well... this is what I have to say about the silent treatment.

I used to get pi$$ed when I didn't think my wife was listening to me when we had a disagreement. Id just stop talking to her for a bit. No big deal, but more distant I guess. Early in our relationship.

then one day I realized that it didn't matter. I could shut up all I wanted and it never got her to realize how upset I was. In fact, after I joked to her at how I realized my "punishing her" by my silence wasn't working, she told me she didn't know she was being punished, and that she was sad that it was over! =)

in other words, she unknowingly enjoyed the fact I was shutting the hell up.

so... is he being a jerk. Sure. A bit. More than normal? I can't say. You can't be too ticked at a person when you are feeling like crap and they don't get it some... you are feeling it, not them.

and I don't know your relationship with him. Is he ignoring you more? Are you looking for problems? Sounds a little like the latter, but I could be wrong. Maybe he's insensitive and you're just getting it.

can you live with it? Is he like this more often than not. Are you looking for a fight? Hard to say.

some of what you've described seems to me to be within the norm of some guys.

[flower81]

We haven't gone through this stage for months, many months...
Im not trying to start a fight at all!! I hate being like this?

Why is he being so rude, and unappriciative?
Why is it the norm... why are men like this?

What should I do, carry on ignoring him. I think he owes me an apologgy!

[flower81]

Ohh!!
Just now my colleague mailed me... and I found out that her husband yesterday gave my man some pron!! OMG!!
Im not pi*sed off... but he didn't tell me!
Any wise ideas of how to go about this situation?

[Krs]

We havnt gone through this stage for months, many months......
Im not trying to start a fight at all!!! I hate being like this?

Why is he being so rude, and unappriciative??
Why is it the norm... why are men like this?!

What should i do, carry on ignoring him. I think he owes me an apologgy!

I suppose as you said this doesn't happen often, then don't worry about it too much!
However think wisely of how to approach him. After all you did nothing worng and his actions were rude, yes!

Maybe you could use the porn as a way to start a conversation in a joking maner?

[flower81]

He really annoyed me thou!

Am I expecting too much, by expecting an apology or even and quick email or a text... nothing.. why is he so rude?
He knows I think he is rude because I told him so yest... although he didn't even acknowledge that!!

:(

[flower81]

He is getting to me!
KRS I msged him a MMS a slight joke about the porn, and asked if he recvd it... all he replied was YES...

:(
:(

Tonight his mother is coming over for dinner, and I'm going to have to cook for them and ijust can't be bothered now!
Now I'm angry!

Besides he is going away with work for 3 days thurs...

Someone HELP ME

[flower81]

Anyone else's opinion will be grateful

[talaniman]

Calm down and relax. If this is the same guy you've been with for 5 years, you both should know enough to be able to talk about things in a more constructive manner. By now you should also know what to expect, and you can't just fly off the handle because its time for your cycle. If you could communicate better, you would know when and how to approach each other without the lingering anger. He may be rude, but you'll never get an apology the way your going about it. And from what YOU wrote sounds to me like you were looking for a fight, but my own knowledge tells me that you vent and need a hug and a little support during this cycle. He hasn't gotten that understanding yet, so be patient and get over the anger and set the stage for some honest communication. He's on your side, but will need time and talking to before he can know what to do. Us men are just slow like that.

[flower81]

Thanks Tal! Yes same guy!

Now I'm fuming, yes.
I have emailed him, expressing how I feel and what I thought of him. But he hasn't replied! You know why is it ME emailing him and text msging him.. no wonder he takes me for granted

You seem to know me more because that is what I crave for is a hug... not to ignore me.. and don't appreciate me!

Im not using my cycle as an excuse as I actually made it clear that I know I become extra sensitive but I can't control it.

I have tried to communicate to say that he upset me and he was rude an ungrateful. What more can I do?
All I want is an apology and thanks for dinner would have been nice, under my circumstances I still got of my a** to cook him dinner
Im not going to put him on a pedestal after all he upset me.

Tonight his mum is over for dinner and I can't be asked with it, all under false pretences.

[talaniman]

Your all excited and frustrated now. Stop texting him as he is already frustrated himself, as he has no clue what you need from him. You may think 5 years is a long time, but its not. Your still learning. It took me a longer time to know what to do with my wife who goes through the same thing you do on the cycle, and I remember how frustrating it was. Now's not the time to negotiate as understanding and weathering the storm is more important. Better to call his parents and explain nicely how now is a bad time for you and reschedule this dinner, his mother should understand, and then find a quiet spot, take the Mydol or whatever and take a long nap. There is no point in trying to talk to any one now because It will come off as an emotional rant, but in a few days you will better able to handle things in a calmer manner. He'll learn if you teach him. I did. Talk to each other and learn to listen.

[Krs]

Tal is right!

I passed through the same thing every now and then when I have my horrid cycle. Sometimes he is understanding sometimes he isn't.

Maybe as Tal said we should both teach our men ;)

[rol]

I get weird moods also around that time, and when I was in a relationship I would explain that I'm having "those days" and to please excuse my behaviour :)
He would be so nice then and make dinners etc.

So when he comes home tonight tell him you apologize for your behaviour and that should get good results :)

[flower81]

Rol, but what have I done wrong to aplogise..
Apologise for what? For cooking him dinner when I was in pain?
And for letting him have his music loud while I wanted to sleep?

In the future I will advise him that its close to cycle time so to beware of my moods, maybe that will change.

But for last wkends episodes.. I don't think I should say sorry

[talaniman]

Rol, but what have I done wrong to aplogise..?
Apologise for what? for cookin him dinner when i was in pain?
and for letting him have his music loud while i wanted to sleep?

In the future i will advise him that its close to cycle time so to beware of my moods, maybe that will change.

But for last wkends episodes.. i dont think i should say sorry

While I understand, you must know you're scaring me, so I can imagine your man is shaking in his boots.:eek:
How many days left?

[rol]

Yes but how did you ask him?
Did you say it nicely or in a grumpy voice?

Yes warn him anymore . He probably does not realise... I mean how can a guy possibly understand the mood changes which occur at this time.

[flower81]

2 days left :o

But u seriously believe I should be apologising?

[rol]

Wait till its over and then explain nicely how your mood changes at that time as you feel such pain. Tell him you would love some affection and help from him at that time.

[flower81]

yes but how did you ask him?
Did you say it nicely or in a grumpy voice?

yes warn him anymore . He probably does not realise...I mean how can a guy possibly understand the mood changes which occur at this time.

Believe it or not.. I asked him to help me, really nicely!
First I msged him from the bedroom while I was 'trying' to sleep but he didn't reply... so then I got up 20mins later, found him asleep, so I waited till he woke up and asked him as nicely as possibly!

So Tal and Rol - u think I should say sorry?

[rol]

OK if you asked him nicely don't apologize then.

Just tell him what you need at this time of the month.

Maybe he was tired also if he just woke up on the sofa (I know how that feels!)and didn't feel like going to cook dinner.

<<He came back in afternoon, and I told him I thought he was acting really rude and he was ungrateful... but he didn't say anything!
>>
That could have been comminucated in a better way for example. Did he know why you thought he was rude? Men are not mind readers, tell them exactly what you want.