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tfatima1224 · Jul 21, 2013, 05:25 AM

Assalamu alaikum. I am 18 yrs. Old and my parents are planning my marriage to a second cousin of mine. I refused the marriage several times before but my dad pretty much told whether I like it or not I was getting married to this guy. This happened when I was 17. I've now graduated high school ( which was all my parents were waiting for) but I still don't agree to this marriage. Well I know the time is coming soon and I'm already making plans on running away. But I'm afraid, but I also don't want to get married against my will and despite my protests because no one will be happy. I forgot to mention the fact that the guy knows that I don't want to get married to him yet he doesn't care. I want to know if there is another way of getting out if this situation because I don't have much time. Jazakallah khairan.

joypulv · Jul 21, 2013, 05:33 AM

What are the realities of running away? Do you have sympathetic friends or relatives? Do you live in a city or small town? Do you have any money saved? Do you have any job skills? What are the consequences to running away (complete ostracizing by the whole family, etc)?
I'm certainly not in favor of marrying someone against your will. It seems so strange to hear you, well spoken in two languages at least, using the internet in a modern world, being treated using such an ancient custom. But I'm not Muslim and I'm in the US, so this topic, although we read about it here almost every day, is hard for us to grasp. There are a few Muslims who answer here pretty regularly. But regardless of country or religion, there are the practical questions to ask.

smkanand · Jul 23, 2013, 09:55 AM

tell you father that its genetically bad to marry first cousin and that you don't wish to marry him. Islam give full right to women to refuse the wedding. It seems your parents forcing it on you. So you don't have time to wait till day of nikah and say "qabool nahi hain". I would suggest to find a job as soon as possible, collect some money, get some help from friends if possible. There are some women groups and social forums which can help you. If you will marry against will and the guy will force it on you, it will be considered as sin or zina according to islam. So don't let them force yo.

joypulv · Jul 23, 2013, 10:12 AM

The man is a SECOND cousin.