[Juliangrey1]

I'm 13 years old and I have a large fear of dying. Every night it crosses my mind and I keep myself up at night thinking about it. I don't know what to do. It's interfering with how I live my life and makes me very depressed. It scares me when I think that there is just nothing after you die. Then I just think everything is a waste if nothing is at the end. I don't know what to do and I'm tired of this depression. Hopefully someone can help me.

[Wondergirl]

Wait until you are my age (67)! Actually, I believe there is an afterlife. It is so hard for me to believe that we have these wonderful bodies and terrific minds and that they will end up as nothingness forever after we die. Most religions teach that there will be an afterlife. There are several new books out recently that tell of dying people's reports of seeing a bright light and maybe relatives who died before they did and a great feeling of peace. The reports are too numerous and wide-ranging across cultures to say there isn't something to them.

How to get over your depression? Live one day at a time and enjoy it to the fullest. Give of yourself whenever you can (but don't be a doormat). Do random acts of kindness as a secret. (If you want ideas, let us know.) Enjoy the warm sun, the splashing rain, even thunder and lighting, the beauty of a snowfall, the chirping of birds, the smile of a friend, the sweet taste of chocolate. Treat your body well and use your brain to its fullest extent. If you do all that (and similar things), you won't have time to be depressed.

[joypulv]

A 13 year old with an intense fear of dying may have a chemical imbalance. Unfortunately that's expensive to test, so many depressed teens end up in talk therapy instead. Is there anything in your life so far that may have contributed to dwelling on death? Do you have love of family, good friends, things that interest your mind and spirit?

[tickle]

It isn't a waste 'if there is nothing at the end'. Becoming an adult, realizing goals, finding a mate, bearing children and living a full life knowing you have contributed to someone's happiness, the end is your satisfying reward away from the trials and tribulations. You have to believe that the end will be the best part, your reward.

[talaniman]

Don't dwell too much about what happens later. Instead think about what you want now and how you want to be today. And what you can be tomorrow. When you just think of negative things that may not happen, then of course you will be a bit depressed.

But if you fill your thoughts with positive, happy things, you won't have time to be depressed because you will be to busy being happy and doing good things for yourself and others. So wake up in the morning, and ask your mom if she needs help with anything.

[JudyKayTee]

Depression needs to be visited and perhaps diagnosed by a Physician.

Now, as far as dying is concerned - my late husband most definitely did not believe in an afterlife. He lived a good, moral life because that was how he was, not looking for some sort of payoff in the "next World."

It's about how you live here, not what happens after.

These obsessive thoughts at your age are cause for concern. Talk to an adult.

[smearcase]

I saw Penn of Penn and Teller being interviewed by Piers Morgan a few years ago and Penn is a non-believer and Piers asked him something like -
How can you live your life and assume that there will be absolutely nothing after you die. And Penn replied that he wasn't afraid to die because he figured that he would be in the same status after death as was his status for the many millions of years before he was born. If there is a hell, Penn is in trouble with that philosophy. If there is no hell, it doesn't matter for him.
You have to consider the various religious approaches and the non-religious viewpoints such as Penn's. Whichever direction you decide to take, if you really believe in your heart that you have made the right choice, your fears should be lessened.

[JudyKayTee]

Smearcase, I like your answer very much - greenie and applause.

This should be repeated on some of the other boards. Very gently handles a question which can quickly become ugly.

[smearcase]

Judy,
I truly appreciate your comment.