[sizakele]

Hi, I've been married for a year now and still in love with my ex boyfriend. In 2011I bumped into my ex after a long time not seeing him and we had a very strong reconnection, there was one problem though I was pregnant with my hubbys twins and he had already got married.

We started calling each other and chat for hours, when we broke up he was still deeply in love with me and he tells me that he realises that he is in love with me still. I also still love him so much but I kept on telling him to stop saying that and focus on his marriage as I was also getting married too.

I got married in 2012 and told him that I'm getting married as there was no way that he was going to leave his wife for me, before I got married I had never told him that I also was still deeply in love with him. Five months into my marriage he realised that he loves me and not his wife and I also realized that I had made a mistake getting into a marriage. I was never prepared for it as I was also still in love with him.

We both now have our spouses and our children and we both don't want to bring pain to both our famalies. Its clear that we both love each other and don't know how to deal with the situation, we keep on hoping that one day we will be together but it hurts us so bad that we can't be together now.

Please give advise on how to deal with the situation as it is straining to both our marriages!

[talaniman]

Leave each other alone if you truly value your family and lives. You are doing nothing but playing with each others feelings and causing you both and your spouses pain and misery because you distract each other with this foolish nonsense about love.

This kind of love is fantasy and unhealthy, and its emotionally cheating on your spouses, that you have promised love and fidelity to. Either come clean and be honest with your spouses, or leave this unclean behavior alone by leaving each other alone.

I think two liars and cheater deserve each other myself, but if you don't know what the right thing is in the first place you are asking for trouble. And will get it.

[Jake2008]

You really need to let this other man go. Love has nothing to do with it. If, as you said he left his wife, and you cancelled the wedding, and it worked out THEN, that would have been so much less damaging than what the situation is now.

He won't leave his wife, which leads me to believe that if the two of you haven't hooked up for an affair, it's on the agenda, and will likely happen.

Why he remains married, yet willing to keep a relationship with you, only means that he is getting some encouragement.

Plus both of you are cheating on your own spouses, and it is a stretch to think this hasn't already been physical cheating, but at the very least, emotional cheating.

What a terrible thing for you to do to another man's wife as well.

I'm really trying not to beat you up over this, but, should you not find the courage to do the right thing here, you will forever regret your actions.

I know you have tried to let him go, but it's obviously not working. You are already running the risk of your husband finding out what's going on, as is your ex boyfriends wife. Then what will you do- you could be left with nobody, and your kids, and his kids will go through hell because of what you continue to do.

Let him go. Period.