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Just Dahlia · May 29, 2013, 08:22 PM

I have 2 dogs. One is 9 and the other is 6. Both small Poodles under 20 pounds. I have had them since they were babies. They are both fixed.
My problem is with 'Bingo' the younger one. She has a problem with my son. It seems like she is scared of him. I know that he has never abused her and he has only tried to make her like him. (he loves all animals) She loves pretty much everyone and even goes to strangers. She will come to him when he calls her, but she is crawling (slithering) like she is scared.
Tonight when I fed them both, Bingo wouldn't eat unless I moved her food to outside because my son was in his room.
Am I missing something? She will take cookies from him and come to him reluctantly when called. My other puppy (Male) loves him like he is a G-D! I just don't get it...

tickle · May 30, 2013, 04:39 AM

Bingo would not be displaying this behavior unless your son has, maybe not abused, but maybe chastised Bingo by hitting her. Dogs don't display this type of behavior for no reason at all and maybe you should get to the bottom of it with a talk to your son about what happened. How old is your son by the way?

Aurora_Bell · May 30, 2013, 06:14 AM

Is Bingo submissive with any other people that come into the house? Does your sont alk with a deep comanding voice? Is your son hyper active? Dogs, like people have different personalities, I wouldn't come right out and say your son ever purposly hurt Bingo, but maybe scared her -- evn by accident?

Just Dahlia · May 31, 2013, 11:49 AM

My son is 30 and he has a deep voice and he is very tall and not hyper. There is no way in H-LL that he would ever hurt, slap, spank her. He has known all his life how to care for dogs. He plays with our other dog all the time, but knows that Bingo is scared so only gives her love. Could she possibly think that he is hurting the other dog when he is playing? And shys away because she doesn't want to play?

tickle · May 31, 2013, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by Just Dahlia

My son is 30 and he has a deep voice and he is very tall and not hyper. There is no way in H-LL that he would ever hurt, slap, spank her. He has known all his life how to care for dogs. He plays with our other dog all the time, but knows that Bingo is scared so only gives her love. Could she possibly think that he is hurting the other dog when he is playing? and shys away because she doesn't want to play?

What do they play at, rough-housing?

Don't be offended by our suggestions, you came here to ask and we know nothing of your family dynamics.

Alty · May 31, 2013, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by Just Dahlia

My son is 30 and he has a deep voice and he is very tall and not hyper. There is no way in H-LL that he would ever hurt, slap, spank her. He has known all his life how to care for dogs. He plays with our other dog all the time, but knows that Bingo is scared so only gives her love. Could she possibly think that he is hurting the other dog when he is playing? and shys away because she doesn't want to play?

I'm assuming the son doesn't live with you. Did he live with you when you got Bingo, or had he already moved out of the house? Has he ever moved back in since Bingo has been there, even for a short period?

How long has she been afraid of him? Is this recent, or has it been going on for a long time? Sorry if you mentioned it already and I missed it.

Just Dahlia · May 31, 2013, 09:54 PM

He lives with me and has been for most of Bingos life. I'm not offended, I just thought I had made it clear that there was NO abuse.
He does rough house a little with the other dog, but I am sensitive, so it might not be rough house at all. My dog seems to have a good time and loves him dearly. Misses him when he is away to the point of getting a little depressed, so I don't think it is too rough.
Alty... I'm not sure when it began. It might have been when her dad (my husband)(ex) moved out. Still can't figure it out.

Cat1864 · May 31, 2013, 10:16 PM

My other puppy (Male) loves him like he is a G-D!

JD, is she reacting to signals from your male (sorry, I have forgotten his name?) Could he be sending out signals that your son is 'his'?

My male will defer to my female when it comes to interacting with me because I am 'hers'. There has never been a growl or anything like that.

How did the dogs react with your ex?

Alty · Jun 1, 2013, 12:30 PM

Originally Posted by Just Dahlia

He lives with me and has been for most of Bingos life. I'm not offended, I just thought I had made it clear that there was NO abuse.
He does rough house a little with the other dog, but I am sensitive, so it might not be rough house at all. My dog seems to have a good time and loves him dearly. Misses him when he is away to the point of getting a little depressed, so I don't think it is too rough.
Alty...I'm not sure when it began. It might have been when her dad (my husband)(ex) moved out. Still can't figure it out.

Ding ding ding! I think I got it!

Your ex husband moved out. That's a major change. Dogs don't react well to change, and their behaviors often change when they're not happy about a major change in their lives.

When the ex husband moved out, how did you react? Specifically with the dogs. More attention, more cuddling? I'm sure that you were upset, and dogs are a comfort, so they likely got more attention once daddy was gone.

This all makes sense, at least to me. The man of the house left, the daddy left, mommy was upset because of it. Now all men are bad because they make mommy sad.

When Bingo gets upset with your son, how do you react? How does your son react? What is done when Bingo shows aggression to your son?

Aurora_Bell · Jun 3, 2013, 05:39 AM

I honestly think it just could be she feels intimidated by his height and voice. It could just be one of her personality quirks. I don't think she would associate all men with your ex leaving, but I do think maybe Cat is on to something. How does the totem pole go as far as the dogs are concerned?

Just Dahlia · Jun 4, 2013, 10:58 AM

@Cat, maybe. She won't go in my sons room without Kugle going first.
@Alty. She was like this befire he moved out. She doesn't get upset, she gets shy and he gently pets her and encourages her to eat her cookie before Kugle steals it away.
@Bell. Kugle is top dog

Thanks guys :)

Aurora_Bell · Jun 5, 2013, 04:57 AM

I think you have your answer? :) It sounds like your son is doing everything he can to make Bingo feel happy and safe, so really that's all he CAN do. Maybe he could encourage Bingo to come in his room for a nap on the bed or something?