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Oliver2011 · May 29, 2013, 05:33 AM

Originally Posted by iminlove26

im a guy.. hello dears. trying hard to be away from him.. the more away i go far from him, the more it hurts.. what to do. ? i cannot concentrate on anything im restless. i need someone. can anyone give me a nice dating site where i can find someone otherwise. or else i might hurt myself. my feelings for him are manifesting into pain & danger to myself now.

Can't control anymore. i just want to hear his voice every day... i know this will not go on forever. I can't control my feelings and emotions.. :( :( :( sad sad sad here.! depressed.

You may want a relationship but you are not in a good place right now to have a relationship. You need to look at all the responses for what you need to do next. If you are not to the point where you can accept yourself as gay, then a relationship will do you no good. You won't be good for your partner and you won't be good for yourself.

Homegirl 50 · May 29, 2013, 07:51 AM

You don't sound as though you are emotionally healthy enough for a relationship , as evidenced by your obsession over a straight man and feeling like you want yo hurt yourself. You sound like a love sick teenager.
Get some counseling.

iminlove26 · May 29, 2013, 06:17 PM

Really don't understand what to say or do. Though, I know you guys are trying hard to make me understand. Well I will take your advise. As I am trying to stay away from him and its hard for me to do so. But, I want to know how long will it take for me to forget him from the time I have distanced myself from him. A month? 2 months.. to completely get over him. Please advise.

Thank you.

Homegirl 50 · May 29, 2013, 06:24 PM

There is no set time and it also will depend on how focused you are with moving on. I think if you get into some therapy this guy will fade quickly.

iminlove26 · May 29, 2013, 06:24 PM

Can anyone tell me what is happening why is this happenning? I have read that home abuse also can get a person obsessed with a stranger who really cares about you who gives you attention. Am I obsessed with this guy because I need his attention and love because I did not get it from my dad and mom.. Is this the reason I just don't want/ FEAR to LOOSE Him? Seems like I'm not sexually attracted towards this guys but Love him to Death.!...

Experts please tell me if the above is the case.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

There is no set time and it also will depend on how focused you are with moving on. I think if you get into some therapy this guy will fade quickly.

I live in India. I do not trust to expertise of Indian professionals. Although I do visit London Sometimes, I would like to take some counselling over there.

Rgds.

Homegirl 50 · May 29, 2013, 06:30 PM

Get some counseling. These are not questions we can answer nor would it be right to do so.

iminlove26 · May 29, 2013, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Get some counseling. These are not questions we can answer nor would it be right to do so.

Ok. Thank you.

Oliver2011 · May 30, 2013, 04:36 AM

Originally Posted by iminlove26

Really dont understand what to say or do. Though, I know you guys are trying hard to make me understand. Well I will take ur advise. As I am trying to stay away from him and its hard for me to do so. But, I want to know how long will it take for me to forget him from the time I have distanced myself from him. a month? 2 months...? to completely get over him. Pls advise.

Thank you.

That is up to you. If you sit around your house doing nothing but thinking of him, it is going to take a really long time. If you get out there, meet new people, exercise, have fun, and smile a ton then it won't take long at all. Again - learn to appreciate the little things in life.

iminlove26 · May 31, 2013, 12:28 AM

Well I'm trying to divert my thoughts to the things I like now. Lets c the outcome. Hope it will be good.

iminlove26 · Jun 2, 2013, 08:41 PM

Originally Posted by iminlove26

well im trying to divert my thoughts to the things i like now. Lets c the outcome. Hope it will be good.

Thanks to you.. Im trying to forget him. And its working. But the problem now is I keep staring at Other guys. Im scared I might get caught someday for being gay. I just cannot stop looking at men. Even in the canteen, I try to sit where girls are visible to me as I do not look at them, naturally! But sometimes guys sit; then its very awkward when I keep staring at them. I'm very scared of getting caught.

Please advise regarding the same. What should I do for me not to stare!

Wondergirl · Jun 2, 2013, 08:43 PM

Originally Posted by iminlove26

Pls advise regarding the same. What should i do for me not to stare!!

Take along a book or magazine to read, do a crossword puzzle, play a handheld video game.

talaniman · Jun 2, 2013, 08:46 PM

Stop trying to be something that your not guy, and start learning to love and accept yourself as a good human being.

Oliver2011 · Jun 3, 2013, 05:06 AM

I would have to agree with Talaniman. Trying to be someone you are not will only cause you great stress in the future.

Why are you so against being who you are?

iminlove26 · Jun 4, 2013, 08:09 PM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

I would have to agree with Talaniman. Trying to be someone you are not will only cause you great stress in the future.

Why are you so against being who you are?

You guys won't believe the transition I've been in, in the past week.. Been far away from him actually helped me. I realised that he doesn't care about me. He doesn't even call and ask about me. What kind of friend was that?

Then I wondered.. what a foolish guy I am. Not any more! He doesn't care. Why should I keep thinking about a person who is Not my piece of cake. Well I let go of him already. Not thinking about him anymore. Good thing for me I guess.

Its ironic that I found someone online. Hes a cute guy who indeed asked me out by reading my profile. He likes me. I like him a lot. Just waiting to fall in love with him. We had a good Conv. Seems like this guy may be the one who I was searching for. Lets hope for the best. Well I don't hope, I know its going to be the best thing that will happen to me in so many years. Thanks to a site called PlanetRomeo.

Adeos! To the old one.

Rgds & Thanks to you all.
I'm in love. :)

Homegirl 50 · Jun 4, 2013, 08:31 PM

You were so in love last week now you are waiting to fall in love with some guy you just met online. Why for you have to be in love? Why can you not just get to know someone?

talaniman · Jun 4, 2013, 08:36 PM

You can have fun without giving your heart away to a stranger you know. I am glad you have moved beyond the hopeless love stage but to jump to desperate? That's scary. Slow down guy.

iminlove26 · Jun 4, 2013, 09:46 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You were so in love last week now you are waiting to fall in love with some guy you just met online. Why for you have to be in love? Why can you not just get to know someone?

I don't know what's wrong with me.. But some thing's very wrong for sure. I am so desperate to be loved by someone. Its like I want to be loved and share my love to someone. My life is empty. My family life was a mess from the childhood. I have no bondings with my mom and dad whatsoever. She left me with my grandparents when I was 3 months old. Now she tries to be close but its too late. I do not trust my mom as she supports my dad and never supports me. She alwys lectures me.. I mean.. come on! I'm a grown up guy. I need my space and freedom. Too much strictness has damaged me inside out and my personal life is tormenting me back and forth. I need to get healed.

As you guys said I need a counselling but before that I feel I need someone to talk to and hug me as I have never be cuddled by my parents... I also am so desperate to feel someone close to me.. Its hard dear.. but I still tried to get away from this guy. Now I'm getting close to this guy who's gay(ofcourse). At least he will help me heal some of my pain. Or at least ill be free from the burden I'm carrying and appreciate life more easily as it comes. I

I really want to be loved. You could imagine my situation as you are experts. But I'm the one who's suffering. I really feel this relation will help me as I could get love and appreciate myself more and love myself more and also share my loave to this guy. He really likes me and I like him instead. I truly want to know him and fall in love with him.

The worst part I have to accept in this relation is that he is a poor guy and has sex for pay as I literally poor and without family to support him (dad and mom died when he was young & brought up by his uncle). But I hesistated at first on hearing that and was very shocked. Although he said that he would not charge me to make out because he likes me and wants to know more about me. I had to accept the way he is. And I have. As he has been honest with me. I could have walked out easily from him but I can undrstand his situation. He does some part time modelling shows and he has some regular gay customers to look after. :-( I like him a lot. I am really falling for this guy for his honesty.
I told him to stop having paid sex but he do not have choice to support himself. This is the only way he earns a living and also not much educated for me to help him to get him in some jobs. Yet ill try to give him some good work so he stops all that.

At last I am proud that I got over the other guy with some will power.

Now Can you fathom all the above dears! Even I cannot. To some extent. But will go with the flow.

Thanks and Warm Regards,
Im in love 26

Oliver2011 · Jun 5, 2013, 04:37 AM

If you are a "grown up guy" why do you consistently make bad decisions? You go from "loving" a guy you can't have to "loving" someone who has sex for money. That isn't love and until you find out what true love is, you will continue to feel empty.

There is so much more to say but I don't have the time right now. Just be careful because people who have sex for money tend to carry diseases that can end your life. Get to know a guy first before you profess your love to that person. You honestly need to take a step backwards and figure out you first. The decisions you make can impact your life completely and I don't see a person making good decisions right now.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 5, 2013, 08:07 AM

You sound very desperate and people make foolish decisions when they are desperate. Why you are set on falling for a male prostitute is beyond me. It makes no sense. Leave him alone and get some counseling. You are not emotionally healthy enough for a relationship. At this point.

talaniman · Jun 5, 2013, 08:23 AM

Afraid you are looking for the wrong kind of love in the wrong places my friend. That's a false love and poor substitute for real love that has to start with you loving yourself and the world you are in by being good to yourself in very healthy positive ways and building a life that you enjoy with friends and activities that make you happy.

Free making out with a prostitute only leads to you wanting more, and being quoted a steep price for it. And you are ripe for the hustler my friend. Your choice to fall for the easy BS, and not hold out for the real thing. Don't be desperate and get carried away by it, be thoughtful and good to yourself and leave those dead end temporary distractions alone.