Originally Posted by
lisa1471
That's why I need to know if its a mistake
No stranger can tell you that, that's something you have to figure out.
He made his choices, bad ones, you made your choices, also bad ones. You've both cheated in this relationship, but you decided to stay together. You punish him every day for his mistake. You haven't forgiven him. Has he forgiven you?
No matter what, you're an adult, you make your own decisions. No one can make them for you. Either stay or leave. Either accept that he screwed around, and forgive him (which means letting the affair go, never mentioning it again, stop making him pay for that mistake), or realize that you can't forgive (doesn't sound like you have) and leave. You also had an affair. Has he forgiven you? Does he mention your affair all the time? Does he obsess about it like you do?
I really can't see this marriage lasting, that's my opinion. Neither of you respects your partner. He screws around, he still contacts the woman he had an affair with. You screw around too Why even bother with marriage? Just be single, have sex with whoever you want, and stop making each of your lives miserable. There's no love her, love doesn't do what you two have done. There's definitely no respect here, from either of you.