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Anisha N · May 11, 2013, 10:58 AM

Threads merged

Hello everyone.

My ex is back in town after we tried to work on our failing long distance relationship for a year and a half. We have always been on good terms, he even called me two weeks before he actually came to town. He contacted me so often.. Obviously I had my hopes up.

Well, beginning of last month my good friend runs into him at a restaurant. That's how I hear he is back in town. Now its been a month since he's back. I think of him every minute of the day. HE Hasn't CONTACTED ME :(:(:(..

I feel terrible. He's been here for a month now. We had been through so much together including the long distance. We'd been together for 3 years and I feel terrible :( I don't understand why he hasn't contacted me. What should I do? I cannot stop thinking of him. I think I still love him, but how I can I possibly love him after all he's put me through? I hate how I feel. Miserable.

odinn7 · May 11, 2013, 11:27 AM

What should you do... the only answer is to forget him. You don't mean as much to him as he does to you... it's clear since he hasn't even bothered to contact you in all this time that he has been back.

Are you sure you love him or you maybe love what you had hoped the 2 of you could have in the future? He sounds like a waste if time. If you go after him, you are only going to wind up hurting yourself more.

Anisha N · May 11, 2013, 12:17 PM

Thank you very much for answering my question.

I agree with you when you tell me that he is a waste of time. I loved him... He loved me. He used to tell me so much. I don't want to come across like an adolescent, but I feel that way. I just cannot get myself to believe he just decided to not contact me after he came back. After all that he put me through while he was away.. and I've always been there for him. He just decided to not contact me... I feel horrible. I cannot even think of telling myself that he doesn't care... because he always told me he cared and that he had plans for 'us' when he comes back...
I feel horrible. I need to get myself to forget him.. I know

I cry whenever I think of him. I hate how sensitive this has become for me. I don't know what to do..

Anisha N · May 12, 2013, 07:02 AM

Please tell me... should I contact him or just let it be? Or just wait for him to contact me?

odinn7 · May 12, 2013, 07:10 AM

Please tell you... I did tell you but you don't like what I told you.

In the end, you're going to do whatever you want and it's pretty obvious that you'll be calling him since you asked again and are hoping someone will tell you to do so.

Anisha N · May 12, 2013, 12:23 PM

You're right. I should do the right thing! I am going to try my best to let this go.. Thank You very much

amy12389034 · May 12, 2013, 12:29 PM

Try and get in touch with him if you can xxx have a look around town for him xx ask your friends to have a look when there out and about xx
Try to tell him how u really feel

odinn7 · May 12, 2013, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by amy12389034

Try and get in touch with him if you can xxx have a look around town for him xx ask your friends to have a look when there out and about xx
try to tell him how u really feel

That's some pretty poor advice. Did you read what she said? So yeah, advise her to chase this idiot around like a puppy dog so he can kick her some more... brilliant... excellent advice from an 11 year old who knows so much of the world and surely has all kinds of life experience.

Anisha N · May 16, 2013, 08:45 AM

Thank You for responding...

Anisha N · May 25, 2013, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by odinn7

Please tell you...I did tell you but you don't like what I told you.

In the end, you're going to do whatever you want and it's pretty obvious that you'll be calling him since you asked again and are hoping someone will tell you to do so.

Hi odinn7... I did follow your advice. I did not contact my ex. In fact, I did well. I kept myself busy for a month. Now its been two months since he's back in town. He contacted me two weeks ago.. and I responded pretty normally.. I spoke to him well.. I thought I had let go of all that pain.. and guess what? He seems to have gotten busy again. He doesn't call me anymore.. hardly texts me. I really thought I could meet him and talk about how and why things went down when we were in a relationship and why he didn't contact me for two months... but I'm wondering, if its even going to be worth it. I just don't understand what he's trying to do.. I know I'm being stupid. But I need to hear your point of view as a third person.. I hope you can respond. Thanking you..

Wondergirl · May 25, 2013, 09:03 PM

What did he say when he finally got around to contacting you?

Anisha N · May 25, 2013, 09:07 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What did he say when he finally got around to contacting you?

He contacted me by texting me.. and he was behaving very normally.. like nothing happened.. and he did mention that he would talk to me about stuff when we meet because it will be more convincing. But I'm not sure what 'stuff he was referring to.. we haven't met yet. I hope I can somehow make him meet me.. so I can get some closure.

Wondergirl · May 25, 2013, 09:11 PM

Originally Posted by Anisha N

He contacted me by texting me.. and he was behaving very normally.. like nothing happened.. and he did mention that he would talk to me about stuff when we meet because it will be more convincing. But I'm not sure what 'stuff he was referring to.. we haven't met yet. I hope I can somehow make him meet me.. so I can get some closure.

If I were in this position, I would not meet with him. At this point, nothing he could say would excuse his bad behavior. He's going to talk to you about stuff in person so he's more convincing?? I smell a rat. I'd go No Contact.

Anisha N · May 25, 2013, 09:18 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

If I were in this position, I would not meet with him. At this point, nothing he could say would excuse his bad behavior. He's going to talk to you about stuff in person so he's more convincing???? I smell a rat. I'd go No Contact.

Yes.. that's right. With him, its always a smelly rat situation. I'm so don with feel in miserable.. he leaves m and come back when he feels like. I really want to stop letting him to do this to me.. I think you're right. I should just go no contact. Even if he messages me or calls me... he so easily hurts me. And he's not even my boyfriend anymore..

Wondergirl · May 25, 2013, 09:22 PM

Originally Posted by Anisha N

I should just go no contact. Even if he messages me or calls me... he so easily hurts me. And he's not even my boyfriend anymore..

Are you strong enough? Or will you cave in?

How can you be strong and do the No Contact? (I'm guessing he will text you for a meeting, and if you don't respond, he might try once or twice more, but then will give up. He doesn't sound very dedicated to you in wanting to patch things up.)

Anisha N · May 25, 2013, 09:33 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Are you strong enough? or will you cave in?

How can you be strong and do the No Contact? (I'm guessing he will text you for a meeting, and if you don't respond, he might try once or twice more, but then will give up. He doesn't sound very dedicated to you in wanting to patch things up.)

I've never ignored him when he contacts me... I've always caved in. But I want to be strong.. I want to get over this. But I know I need some answers from him, about the past.

I'm just wondering, is the face to face meeting with him going to be of any use? Him being this way. As of now, I don't even know if he's going to meet me. He kept asking me to make lunch for him at my house.. and we all know how that ends. So I kept making excuses saying I was busy. That makes me feel he's not really interested in meeting me outside, to talk. He asked if he could come over for lunch a least three times in one week. And now, he hardly contacts me, maybe he just wanted to come home, and didn't think about how I was feeling

Wondergirl · May 25, 2013, 09:37 PM

Originally Posted by Anisha N

I've never ignored him when he contacts me... I've always caved in.

It's time to change.

But I know I need some answers from him, about the past.

No, you don't. That's the part of you not wanting to let him go.

If you respond to him and actually meet with him, I guaranteed he will continue to kick your heart around like a soccer ball.

Anisha N · May 25, 2013, 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It's time to change.

No, you don't. That's the part of you not wanting to let him go.

If you respond to him and actually meet with him, I guaranteed he will continue to kick your heart around like a soccer ball.

I agree with you.I feel it in every inch of my body. I know its time to change.. I'm going to work on myself...

Is it okay if I stop contacting him? As in, replying to his messages?

I'm going to keep myself busy and shape my life up in a more fruitful way. Enough of being used and kicked around. Thank you so much for sharing your point of view. I will stop responding to him and concentrate on other areas of my life instead... thank you wondergirl.

Wondergirl · May 25, 2013, 10:00 PM

Originally Posted by Anisha N

Is it okay if i stop contacting him? As in, replying to his messages?

I give you 100% permission to NOT contact him. No texting, no phone calls, no in-person contact.

Now, stay in touch with us so you don't weaken!

Anisha N · May 25, 2013, 10:17 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I give you 100% permission to NOT contact him. No texting, no phone calls, no in-person contact.

Now, stay in touch with us so you don't weaken!

Wow.. I needed someone to say that to me. Thank you so much for your advice. I will keep you posted :) Wish you happiness and good health.