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robertsqueen · Mar 22, 2007, 10:42 AM

You ask a man to do something for you, something simple like pick up the house and he shoves everything in a corner. It is so frustrating sometimes. Its like pulling teeth to try to get him to help me around the house. He is great with helping me with our son... but you I ask him to clean the house while I am at school and he barely picks it up. I work partime, take care of Baily,and also attend school full time. He works two partime jobs... and only one job a day for about 5 hours. Is asking him to pick up the house asking him to do too much? I would love some feed back... becasue I am at my wits end.:mad:

urstruly85 · Mar 22, 2007, 11:20 AM

LoL He can't pick up the house because ummm. I believe the house was built on foundation! LOL okay I'll be serious for some men it is a problem cleaning the house. Most feel it is a women's job no matter how many other resp. you have. My sister use to leave everything piling up when her man wouldn't help till one day he got sick of the dirty dishes and stkiny clothes and everything else. Since then he has helped. Every Sunday, they clean the house really good and during the week they do light cleaning. Being that they have 3 older children they pitch in too.

gypsy456 · Mar 22, 2007, 12:42 PM

Take a deep breath...
I have to agree with urstruly85... I did exactly the same... I was in the relationship where I was always the one who cleaned and kept the place nice... and one day I just had enough... so everything piled up and my boyfriend at the time said: "this place is a mess".. I looked around and said: "doesn't bother me" and went out to see a movie... When I came back he started cleaning up. Never had to ask him again afterwards.
Having said that... it takes a lot of patience, it took 4 weeks of piling up and I had to tell myself: "don't do it, don't do it"... give it a shot. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Good luck !

moomin007 · Mar 22, 2007, 12:57 PM

Better still, if he has a car... why not leave it to get messy. Don't pick your stuff out of it? Most men are very protective about their cars... he'll soon get the hint. He's bound to say something then you can remind him that you feel the same about the house?

Failing that, I agree with the other posts. Let it build up in the house.

Good luck with it!
Moomin
:)

vlee · Mar 22, 2007, 02:11 PM

I yell at my husband all the time about dirty clothes. He leaves them next to his side of the bed on the floor all week long, and only takes them to the wash on the weekends. My 2 and 7 year old kids know where the hamper is, and use it. My husband is much harder to "train". I used to pick it all up and sort it out, but I've quit. I do laundry when I feel like it, no set days. And I don't pick up his crap anymore. If it isn't in the hamper on laundry day, it doesn't get cleaned. I agree with the posters telling you to allow a mess to collect until he is disgusted by it. (It is hard, but it will prove your point!)

Squiffy · Mar 22, 2007, 02:18 PM

My ex husband was a lazy sod! He wouldn't tidy a thing, even though he didn't work. I worked two jobs, a day job and a night job, every day of the week, and was also pregnant, and I was still epxected to do all the housewprk and childcare. My current partner is a star, he is quite happy to cook dinner, do the irnoning, do the laundry, he tidied my house from top to bottom earlier because I hit my head an felt poorly. Bless him. Not all men are useless! Most are though!

robertsqueen · Mar 22, 2007, 07:29 PM

My husband is great in other departments. He makes meals... takes care of the kid... runs earrand. It is just when it comes to cleaning. I don't think men were born with a cleaning gene.

vlee · Mar 22, 2007, 09:07 PM

:) Ha ha ha! That's so true. My husband is a great dad and does all kinds of things at my request, but cleaning isn't one of them. You should see the inside of his suv! He cleans it once a year... to impress his mum when she comes to stay with us!:)

Barrabas · Mar 22, 2007, 10:47 PM

Hi Robertsqueen,with those things you mentioned that your husband's been doing, it is obvious that laziness does not play a part in all these - Men's standard in cleanliness is quite different with that of women, there are times when a man wants to go home after work and be "relaxed" in his own home. However, a little scheduling can work wonders at times... (My wife sued this strategy on me). Make a list and let him pick what he can and will do on a weekly basis - adds to his sense of responsibility as well and does not look merely like another chore to do. Goodluck

JoeCanada76 · Mar 22, 2007, 10:55 PM

Women are so frustrating. As well, but I guess that is another story for another time. This is your rant and I have no right to intrude.

Maybe you will visit me when I have a bit of a rant about how frustrating women are.

Lol

Joe

louie1 · Mar 23, 2007, 04:43 PM

No most men are thee same - their mothers have picked up after them for years and sadly they then expect their woman to continue the trend.appeal to his better nature , tell him how much pressure you are under and how it makes you feel.Explain to him that there is two adults in the house not one it is not only your responsibility and when your son is older he would be leading a bad example. Worked for me good luck!