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    lemon14's Avatar
    lemon14 Posts: 143, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    May 8, 2013, 11:10 AM
    Why is he lying?
    I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and he has always been a liar. I didn't care much when we first met because I didn't know I was going to have a relationship with him later and his lies seemed inofensive (he boasted on bigger grades, having taken part to some imagined events or doing something fabulous while he was in fact wasting time at home). I thought it as a sort of trying to get my attention, so I didn't take it that seriously.

    However, when we got together everybody warned me to finish it as soon as possible because of his miserable past. When I talked to him about it, he got really angry and indignant that "others stuck their nose into our relationship." Though, he admitted the truth and told me even more, highlighting the fact that he knew what he did was totally wrong and he wanted to start life over. That day I was ready to break up with him, but I changed my mind after he confessed his mistakes and I have been listening everything very carefully since then.

    By now, I haven't caught him on anything about this aspect (every time he talks about his past and repeats himself, the story is the same), he even moved further with talking about the past and I was very shocked to get to know he had a difficult childhood with his parents. He said that at the moment they're still fighting from time to time and that is why his glasses are broken.

    A few days ago, I was to hear from his mother that a girl broke his glasses while he was at the university and this really made me question everything he said. Moreover, he's still lying about stuff: someday he bought some magazines for his mother and when I asked if the duplicate was for him, he denied and 5 minutes later he said one was for him. And the list can go on.

    I understand his reason for lying at first because he barrely knew me, he didn't want to scare me away with his story, but why is he still lying into my face now? I agree sometimes he needs to lie his parents in order to get off punishment, but why would he lie to me? I thought I am trustworthy enough to hear the truth, and believe me, I'm not going to scream, not even raise my voice. I just want the truth, even if it hurts.

    I just don't understand what's his reason for lying? How can I make him believe that telling the truth is better that lying? And how am I supposed to bring up this discussion without accusing and turning it into an argument?
    smkanand's Avatar
    smkanand Posts: 602, Reputation: 56
    Senior Member
     
    #2

    May 8, 2013, 11:23 AM
    Simply ask him as a friend that he can talk to you anything, you will not judge him and want to sort out this issue. Telling the truth will make him feel more light hearted.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #3

    May 8, 2013, 11:31 AM
    This is a pathological liar and nothing that you do is going to make a difference. You either accept the lying or break up with him.

    I knew someone like this. She lied so much that you couldn't even believe her if she told you that water is wet. I thought she would change but she didn't. The lies started to get to the point where they were affecting our relationship and I couldn't trust her for anything.

    You're probably heading for the same thing.
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    May 8, 2013, 11:41 AM
    There are people who really don't know the truth from a lie, and it really doesn't bother them one bit to lie. Others know they are lying, but can't stop, and really have no conscience.
    You have made a very big mistake being involved with this person. Leave now, find some new friends, before he gets you into more trouble than you can handle.
    An old saying: you are known by your friends and associates!
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    May 9, 2013, 08:48 AM
    I would not end a relationship based on what other people tell me. I would be cautious and observant, which you have done. Maybe he's one of those people who believes himself. Who knows. He got "really angry and indignant" the first time you tried to talk to him? What makes anyone think the second time will be any different.

    I just wouldn't get caught in his trap.

    It will only get worse.

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