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    superdupersoph's Avatar
    superdupersoph Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 28, 2013, 04:00 PM
    Boyfriend has erased me from his life.
    So I had been talking to my boyfriend since November. We were just really good friends up until end of February/March then we became a couple. The relationship was long distance (him in Germany me in England) but we didn't see that as a long term problem, he was trying to find a job here. I was learning German just in case. Everything was perfect. He was lovely, spent a lot of time (on skype with me, messaging me) and visited me in England.

    I spoke to him on the Thursday only briefly but it was perfect as usual. He said he missed me, asked how I was and said he wished I was here. On Thursday I had messages from him throughout the day, the last one being 'I’m on my way home' an hour later he had deleted me and blocked me from everything. I’ve tried to contact him/ call him but no answer or I’m also blocked from that too.

    To say I’m shocked was an understatement there was nothing to hint that this would happen. I’ve gone over and over everything but nothing was wrong at all. I can’t get his face out of my mind from the last we spoke -it wasn’t the face of someone who wasn’t happy or would hurt me in this way. I really did love him. I’m finding it hard to get over it as I have no reason for it happening.

    My friends say he’s found someone else or it was all lies, but I don’t know how he would find the time and it’s just not in his character. Also things may seem to have gone a bit fast, but he proactively encouraged it and told me not to worry.

    I’m so lost and I can’t move on as I’m in limbo... any advice would be really helpful.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Apr 28, 2013, 04:03 PM
    How did the two of you meet? Did you meet online initially?
    superdupersoph's Avatar
    superdupersoph Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 28, 2013, 04:05 PM
    Yeah we did, at first I wasn't interested but he pursued me and I realised how lovely he was.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Apr 28, 2013, 04:09 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by superdupersoph View Post
    yeah we did, at first i wasn't interested but he pursued me and i realised how lovely he was.
    You two met in person once, right?

    Has he ever asked you for money, or any financial help at all?
    superdupersoph's Avatar
    superdupersoph Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 28, 2013, 04:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    You two met in person once, right?

    Has he ever asked you for money, or any financial help at all?

    Yeah we met in person once, he came and stayed for a week, was meant to be coming over again in 2/3 weeks time
    He's never asked for any financial help or money (I don't earn a lot and he was very aware of this, however he has a fairly well paid job)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Apr 28, 2013, 04:25 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by superdupersoph View Post
    yeah we met in person once, he came and stayed for a week, was meant to be coming over again in 2/3 weeks time
    hes never asked for any financial help or money (i dont earn a lot and he was very aware of this, however he has a fairly well paid job)
    I thought this would be the case of another scammer, and when you wouldn't or couldn't pay, he moved on to greener pastures.

    But, if he didn't ask for any money, it sounds like that's not the case.

    Is it possible that something happened to his computer and phone service?

    Is it possible that his computer was hacked, or a virus took it out?

    It is odd that he hasn't contacted you in any way if it's just a matter of something going on with his computer service or phone.

    I really wish I could tell you what's going on, but all the ideas I had have proven to be false.

    I can only wish you good luck, and I'm sorry that you're going through this.
    superdupersoph's Avatar
    superdupersoph Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 28, 2013, 04:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    I thought this would be the case of another scammer, and when you wouldn't or couldn't pay, he moved on to greener pastures.

    But, if he didn't ask for any money, it sounds like that's not the case.

    Is it possible that something happened to his computer and phone service?

    Is it possible that his computer was hacked, or a virus took it out?

    It is odd that he hasn't contacted you in any way if it's just a matter of something going on with his computer service or phone.

    I really wish I could tell you what's going on, but all the ideas I had have proven to be false.

    I can only wish you good luck, and I"m sorry that you're going through this.
    Thank you, no nothings happened to his phone/internet as my friend can see his Facebook, I think she has emailed him but heard nothing, I was worried about him so I contacted his family, but even they won't reply to me.

    Thank you for your replies x
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #8

    Apr 28, 2013, 04:50 PM
    It sounds to me like he has had someone else all along and has been "cheating" on her with you... Perhaps she caught him and that was the end of it. It's really the only thing that makes sense here.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #9

    Apr 28, 2013, 04:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    It sounds to me like he has had someone else all along and has been "cheating" on her with you...Perhaps she caught him and that was the end of it. It's really the only thing that makes sense here.
    That does make sense.

    Girlfriend snooped and found his messages to the OP, and demanded he delete her from his life. That does make a lot of sense.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #10

    Apr 28, 2013, 04:55 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by superdupersoph View Post
    thank you, no nothings happened to his phone/internet as my friend can see his facebook, i think she has emailed him but heard nothing, i was worried about him so i contacted his family, but even they wont reply to me.

    thank you for your replies x
    What do you know about his daily life and family? What about his job? Could an emergency at work have kept him from contacting you?

    This is beginning to sound like he may be leading a double life. People who lead more than one life become very adept at juggling them. However, anyone he has closer to home may have caught him.

    About the only advice I can give you is to go about your life and give him time to contact you. If he does, then pay attention to any red flags. Do not accept any excuses that don't add up such as saying he couldn't get on-line, but his Facebook page is being updated regularly.

    If he doesn't contact you in a week or two, start letting him go. By then if you tried to have a relationship with him you would need to reset it to the beginning. Something like this damages the trust and takes a lot of work to heal and rebuild.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #11

    Apr 29, 2013, 02:27 PM
    Going off what odinn7 said, he most likely blocked you because he found (or already had) a girlfriend in Germany.

    Forget about him and move on. Date someone locally.

    And don't contact his family again. That makes you look obsessed, not concerned.

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