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    rubysparkles's Avatar
    rubysparkles Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 15, 2013, 10:43 AM
    What type of schooling is best for overly talkative child?
    My son is finishing up 1st grade in a high performing public school. Academically, he does average; however, he is struggling with behavior. He is very talkative, and gets in trouble for blurting out a lot. He is highly inquisitive and has many questions. He complains to me that he raises his hand to ask a question, but the teachers don't acknowledge him (likely because he'll go on ten minute story that pertains to the topic). He gets very frustrated by this as he has an innate sense of things being right/wrong, and if he follows the rules of raising his hand, then he needs to be called on. He also is easily distracted by other children around him in the class. He seems to be a follower and gets in trouble with the other boys who are not staying on task either, but typically does not initiate the trouble. He has had a few episodes of outright tantrums because he gets in trouble for some various reason, finds it to be unjust, and things seem to explode from there. He never has these problems at home, it is only at school. He is well behaved and sweet as can be at home. I want to encourage his thirst for knowledge because he really questions everything and wants to know more, more, more about everything (I can't even keep up sometimes), but at the same time, he's getting labeled as a "bad kid" at school now, and even broke my heart the other night asking why he is such a "bad boy" at school all the time. We actually moved to our current school district right before he started kindergarten because it is a high performing district, but now I question if another education approach would be better. Private schools will likely have less student-teacher ratio, would that be better? Homeschooling I think will benefit for obvious reasons, but I don't know if I can keep up with his thirst for knowledge. He also has a twin sister who is every "teacher's pet." Should I keep them together in their schooling or separate them? I just don't want to have another school year going into 2nd grade like we did in kindergarten or 1st grade.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Apr 15, 2013, 11:00 AM
    I'm not sure we can be the ones to decide for you, not being there to talk with you and him and his teachers for a day or two. I would see a child psychologist. This isn't something I usually suggest at all, but one who specializes in bright, inquisitive children could probably tell you a lot in two or three visits.
    Since he is so sweet at home, it's possible that he is just having adjustment problems in a larger group, and he needs to be told over and over that other children have to be able to speak and get attention too.
    Do you ever watch The Big Bang Theory? The Sheldon character is all about himself, assuming that because he is a genius he gets to make all decisions and that all his opinions are right too, and he also is immune to being put down. I had roommates and eventually a husband who went to MIT and were all the basis for those nerd characters. The trick as a parent (I think!) is to encourage without coddling, not an easy balance. I highly doubt that his curiosity will be stifled or that he will give up. You can sit him down and teach him sharing of time just as easily as you taught him sharing of toys. You may have to do this with every behavior, such as not getting called on. He can understand that some 'right' actions are first and others second, such as letting the teacher finish, or letting others raise their hands and be called on.
    He may not be immune to being told he is bad, as opposed to wrong, especially when he knows he's not bad. You can explain that to him as a very important separate topic.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #3

    Apr 15, 2013, 11:42 AM
    1) Does he have any social problems relating to the other students and prefers to be alone?
    2) Does he have a lack of understanding about how someone else feels about something, a lack of empathy -- not that he's mean, but he just doesn't "get it" when someone feels hurt or upset?
    3) Does he have one or more very special areas of interest?
    4) Is he clumsy at times?
    5) Do his things have to be arranged a certain way?
    6) Does he like to walk on his tiptoes?
    keeks143's Avatar
    keeks143 Posts: 149, Reputation: 3
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    #4

    Apr 15, 2013, 12:08 PM
    He sounds sweet :) there are lots of people worried about their kids so don't worry. Actually, simply enough I think that a normal school would be best. It gives him the chance to socialise with people like him. Also, maybe when he sees other children behaving, he may be influenced.
    rubysparkles's Avatar
    rubysparkles Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 15, 2013, 12:08 PM
    Err
    rubysparkles's Avatar
    rubysparkles Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Apr 15, 2013, 12:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    1) Does he have any social problems relating to the other students and prefers to be alone?
    2) Does he have a lack of understanding about how someone else feels about something, a lack of empathy -- not that he's mean, but he just doesn't "get it" when someone feels hurt or upset?
    3) Does he have one or more very special areas of interest?
    4) Is he clumsy at times?
    5) Do his things have to be arranged a certain way?
    6) Does he like to walk on his tiptoes?
    Wondergirl: To answer your questions
    1. He loves to be with other children, just seems to get carried away with the excitement sometimes.
    2. He is very remorseful if he wrongs someone, and very apologetic.
    3.He tends to "obsess" with a topic of interest for a while. Such as, they talked about ships at school, and now everything he plays with is ship related whether about the Titanic or pirate ships. He'll do this ad nauseum until he finds something else more interesting. He always has had a love of science, space, and the way things work. He's only six years old, but elects to watch NOVA or Modern Marvels over cartoons any day. Everything he gets from the library is nonfiction books about whatever topics interest him. He never gets fiction story books.
    4. He is not clumsy, though they did give him a ball to sit on at school because he was so fidgety in his chair, he was falling out.
    5. Things don't need to be a certain way, but he does seem to thrive with schedules/consistency or a very structure environment. Transition times or less structured times like gym class are when he tends to get into trouble.
    6. He walks/run, etc fine. No physical or health problems.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #7

    Apr 15, 2013, 12:14 PM
    How about role-playing at home. You be the teacher and he be the student, then reverse roles. Maybe you can enlist other children or family members to act as part of the class. Pretend you are teaching and ask questions and then allow him or other "students" to answer. Make sure he has to wait his turn. If you can't find any "students," just pretend they are there and call on them. This will be your Academy Aware performance of the year. Then let him be the teacher and you the student and see what happens. Be a student like he seems to be.

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