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Priya27 · Apr 12, 2013, 05:20 AM

Hi I have got married to a catholic boy and we are happily married past two months. The major issue is that my in laws are forcing me to convert into christanity. I would just like to know that is it compulsory to convert and if not how can I convince them or show them the proof that it is not compulsory to get converted into christanity. Please help me I have ery little time.

joypulv · Apr 12, 2013, 05:31 AM

I don't know of any place in the world that requires religious conversion.
I think what you are going through is a very strict Catholic family who believes that your marriage isn't valid in the eyes of the Church. I think in the Roman Catholic Church, this is still doctrine (technically), but I see no reason why your husband shouldn't stand up to HIS family for you. He married you not expecting you to convert, right? Then he should protect you from them and if need be, tell them to stay away until they accept you the way you are.
Please answer back what he says about all this.

dwashbur · Apr 12, 2013, 09:07 AM

The only issue I know of is, if you didn't actually get married in a Catholic church, he can't take communion. I don't know of any reason why you would have to convert. It sounds as though this is coming from his family, not from his church, and you don't have to take orders from them. Joypulv is correct: it's no more fair for them to make you convert, than it would be for you to try and force him to convert to your religion. His family does NOT have the right to do this to you, so if you don't want to, by all means, don't.

smkanand · Apr 12, 2013, 09:57 AM

No, you don't have to convert. There are thousands of example who has done inter religious marriage and doing good. Priya, you have seen ritiesh-genelia marriage and many other such. If you respect his religion and he respect yours, that's great. Forcing conversion is not a way. You know what dharma means dharan karna.

jordii · Apr 14, 2013, 06:57 PM

Unless you want to convert willingly then don't do it. You married your husband, not is parents or family.

I married a catholic 25 years ago and never intended or wanted to convert. If your in-laws press you tell them that you are comfortable with who you are and that you and your husband are happy with the way things are. If you have children, don't let them pressure you into having the children raised in their religion. Let your children make up their own minds when they are adults because they are the ones who will live with it.

Priya27 · Apr 25, 2013, 01:28 AM

Originally Posted by jordii

Unless you want to convert willingly then don't do it. You married your husband, not is parents or family.

I married a catholic 25 years ago and never intended or wanted to convert. If your in-laws press you tell them that you are comfortable with who you are and that you and your husband are happy with the way things are. If you have children, don't let them pressure you into having the children raised in their religion. Let your children make up their own minds when they are adults because they are the ones who will live with it.

Hi,

Thanks a lot for your guidance that is really very helpful to me, but if you can help me with any legal proof wherein I can support myself? Because my husband also wants me to get converted and I am really not willing to get converted.

joypulv · Apr 25, 2013, 01:51 AM

Legal proof is simply that no laws exist that govern conversion to any religion, whether married or not. The burden is on your husband to prove otherwise. Just refuse. Why did he marry you before asking you to convert? You need the support of your family in this.

jordii · Apr 25, 2013, 04:53 AM

Agreed; there are no legal issues here. The issue I think is more related to respect.

Obviously your husband knew your religion before marrying you and if it was really going to be a problem for him then he should have brought it up prior to even thinking of marriage.

I'm not sure which, if any religion you were raised with but if it was Anglican, Presbyterian, Protestant, etc. they are all Christian anyway and not that far removed from Catholic. In fact, the United Church was started by a Catholic priest who disagreed with their ultra strict religion.

I hope that you have family members on your own side that will support you.

Good luck and stay strong. You are a newlywed and it is important as a woman to start as you mean to continue otherwise you are setting a very dangerous precedent for the future where your husband and his family will try to manipulate you.

tickle · Apr 25, 2013, 05:15 AM

I am married to a catholic, I am however Anglican. What religion were you brought up under? You are not required to convert.

Priya27 · Jul 3, 2013, 12:31 AM

Thanks a lot... but my husband had already informed me about the conversion before marriage... but now my father in law is very weird wherein he is forcing me to do so and because of him even my mother in law... The priest is also asking me if I am mentally ready to get converted but because of my in laws fear I said yes... but I am reaaly not willing to get converted... and even my husband is forcing me to do so...

joypulv · Jul 3, 2013, 12:47 AM

Go back to the priest and tell him the truth! He will help you. He will talk to your husband and in-laws. The Catholic Church would never want to force anyone to convert.

Have you considered divorce? What would that mean in your part of the world?

smkanand · Jul 3, 2013, 07:19 AM

Priya even if you get converted does that make you or them a good human being? If you are not willing to then don't. Dharmantaran is big issue these days and if the basis of some relationship or faith is such conversion, it will bad for you. Better convenience your husband or get divorce.

N0help4u · Jul 3, 2013, 03:31 PM

If she is that devote of a catholic then telling her the other alternative would be divorce which is against Catholicism. Also you could point out in the Bible verses that show its not by man's or the churches desires that a person becomes a Christian.

N0help4u · Jul 3, 2013, 03:34 PM

I see that you said your husband is trying to force you. You need to ask him if he is insistent because of his parents or because of his own convictions. If it really doesn't matter to him then he needs to stand behind you on your wishes.

Alty · Jul 3, 2013, 03:40 PM

Did you know that they would insist that you convert, before you married?

If so, did you agree to this before you married?

Do you live in the US? If so, you have the freedom of religion. That means that no one can force you to convert to a religion you don't want to belong to.

Why does this matter so much to them? I'd sit with them and say "I don't want to convert to Catholicism. You're forcing me to do this, which means that if I do, it doesn't matter, since I don't believe in the Catholic religion. Is that what your religion teaches you, to force others to become Catholic? That's not a very Christian thing to do. I don't want to be a part of a religion that forces others to accept their beliefs, against their will".

N0help4u · Jul 3, 2013, 04:56 PM

She said they did tell her

smearcase · Jul 3, 2013, 05:05 PM

You talk about converting to Christianity. What are you converting from? Another religion or atheism? If you agreed to become a catholic before marriage, why did you do that?

ScottGem · Jul 3, 2013, 05:07 PM

You say you got married already. Were you married by a catholic priest or was it a civil ceremony?

Because, if you were married by a catholic priest then that is your proof. If conversion was required, you would have had to convert before the priest would marry you.

On the other hand, religious difference is one of the more common reasons that marriages fail. So if your husband and his family are pressuring you, your marriage may not last if you don't.

How long were you together before you married? What religion are you? Do you practice your religion? Does your husband go to church every week?