[xyz788205]

I called & told my "husbands" parole officer numerous times over 6 months that he was on drugs, didn't have a job, didn't live at my house where he said he was living, & was not going to mandated drug classes thinking that she would do something & he could get help. He's on parole for the next 20 years & I was trying to help him before it was too late. She told me several times she was going ABC... but never did. Cut to now & I have filed charges on him for assault & he will be going to jail. My question is can I complain about her for not doing anything before & how do I do it?

[JudyKayTee]

Why is husband in quotes? If he is not your legal husband you are a citizen making a complaint, no more and no less.

Did you go to the Police? PO's are not the Police and do not have the same responsibiities.

Do you have proof she didn't do anything?

What do you hope to accomplish?

[xyz788205]

Yes he is my husband. I put it in quotes because I don't feel like he is anymore. I don't understand why you are asking me if I went to the police... I did go to them when he assaulted me but not before for him violating parole that had nothing to do with the police. Yes, I know that P.O.s are not the police. I have phone bills that show where I spoke to her numerous times for 30+ minutes at a time & I spoke to another P.O. there about the situation. I hope to make sure that she does her job. Parole Officers are there to make sure parolees do what they are supposed to do & she doesn't do that. I think she should get in trouble so she will know to not do this in the future.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes you can file a complaint with her supervisor, sadly "exes" are know to call and lie to PO all the time, so often they do not take anything they say seriously. ( sorry but just the truth)
If he was passing drug tests, that is what she looks for. Most likely she has about twice as many people to supervise as she can handle and has no time to really check on anyone. That is common today.

[excon]

Hello x:

He's on parole for the next 20 years & I was trying to help him

He's got 20 years hanging over his head, and you spend HOURS on the phone snitching on him?? Then you have the BALLS to say you're trying to "help" him?? And when that didn't work, you want to snitch on the PO??

Lady. Get a life.

excon

PS> I'm ready for my reddie...

[tickle]

Hello x:
He's got 20 years hanging over his head, and you spend HOURS on the phone snitching on him??? Then you have the BALLS to say you're trying to "help" him???? And when that didn't work, you wanna snitch on the PO.

Lady. Get a life.

excon

PS> I'm ready for my reddie...

Greenies !

[xyz788205]

Hello x:
He's got 20 years hanging over his head, and you spend HOURS on the phone snitching on him??? Then you have the BALLS to say you're trying to "help" him???? And when that didn't work, you wanna snitch on the PO???

Lady. Get a life.

excon

PS> I'm ready for my reddie...

You are so right... POOR HIM. I have been with him for over 10 years & stuck with him through 2 prison terms not to mention all the other crap. I was absolutely trying to help him. Texas rarely sends guys back for technical violations so was hoping to get him sent to isf long enough to realize what he was risking & before he caught a new charge or DIED! His life is in danger... he has been shot at & numerous people want to hurt him. Oh did I mention that we have a son together who he doesn't see anymore & I take care of 100% of the time with no support or help from him at all . I did spend hours on the phone. How much time would you use to save a loved one's life? You want to say I need a life but you are the one who replied to my question just to give me your convict attitude for no reason & you didn't even have a real answer for me. At least I was using my time on someone I love. You use yours on strangers! Thanks!

[excon]

Hello again, x:

I appreciate your wanting to help.. However, having been through TWO prison stints, you should KNOW, that there's NO HELP there! NONE!

How you DON'T know that is a mystery to me.. If you learn NOTHING from my post, learn that.

excon

[xyz788205]

Yes you can file a complaint with her supervisor, sadly "exes" are know to call and lie to PO all the time, so often they do not take anything they say seriously. ( sorry but just the truth)
If he was passing drug tests, that is what she looks for. Most likely she has about twice as many people to supervise as she can handle and has no time to really check on anyone. that is common today.

Thank you so much. Yes, I did get the feeling that she didn't believe me. I know that women get mad & call on their husbands all the time but I don't know how she didn't carch on... he has lost 75 pounds in a few months & if you have ever seen someone on meth it's not that hard to tell. Not only is he on drugs, he doesn't even do anything he is supposed to & she knows all of it. I just think something should be done about it. Like I said before, she is there to make sure parolees do what they need to do to stay out of prison & she's not. I believe that not only should it help the parolee for them to do their job but it will help the whole community. I know that they have too many cases to handle & it is not their fault. Again thank you very much!

[xyz788205]

Hello again, x:

I appreciate your wanting to help.. However, having been through TWO prison stints, you should KNOW, that there's NO HELP there! NONE!

How you DON'T know that is a mystery to me.. If you learn NOTHING from my post, learn that.

excon

I know that now, it took me 10 years but I did finally get it. Thank you for changing your attitude & being nice to me. I am not a snitch or a bad person by any means, I was just trying to keep a father for my son but now I know he is better off without him in his life. Thank you so much for the help ;)

[JudyKayTee]

You go, Excon - I was heading there but more slowly from a different angle.

Greenie and applause. And more applause.

Well, for once it's not someone snitching on an immigrant!

Must be great for children if there are children involved -

When I worked Homeland Security 99% of the tips were people with an agenda, and the agenda was usually "gotcha."

I am also amused that someone who comes on a public board for advice finds fault with the amount of time people spend answering his/her question and those of other people.

[tickle]

You are so right....POOR HIM. I have been with him for over 10 years & stuck with him through 2 prison terms not to mention all the other crap. I was absolutely trying to help him. Texas rarely sends guys back for technical violations so was hoping to get him sent to isf long enough to realize what he was risking & before he caught a new charge or DIED! His life is in danger...he has been shot at & numerous people want to hurt him. Oh did I mention that we have a son together who he doesn't see anymore & I take care of 100% of the time with no support or help from him at all . I did spend hours on the phone. How much time would you use to save a loved one's life? You want to say I need a life but you are the one who replied to my question just to give me your convict attitude for no reason & you didnt even have a real answer for me. At least I was using my time on someone I love. You use yours on strangers! Thanks!

Yes, as a matter of fact, all of us here use all of our volunteer time on strangers. Sometimes they like the response some times they don't.

[JudyKayTee]

I'm handing out greenies like crazy -

[xyz788205]

Yes, as a matter of fact, all of us here use all of our volunteer time on strangers. Sometimes they like the response some times they don't.

I understand that I am the one who asked for the help of strangers, I don't have a problem with that. I was trying to make a point because I was attacked & told I needed to get a life for trying to help a loved one & he didn't even answer my question. He took time out of his life to be rude & try to make me feel bad. That is what I was saying. Still out of all of you... Only 1 person has actually tried to help me. The rest of you just want to attack me for no reason. This "greenie" thing I could really care less. I thought I would come on this site & find help & support... I guess not!

[xyz788205]

You go, Excon - I was heading there but more slowly from a different angle.

Greenie and applause. And more use.

Well, for once it's not someone snitching on an immigrant!

Must be great for children if there are children involved -

When I worked Homeland Security 99% of the tips were people with an agenda, and the agenda was usually "gotcha."

I am also amused that someone who comes on a public board for advice finds fault with the amount of time people spend answering his/her question and those of other people.

I understand that I am the one who asked for the help of strangers, I don't have a problem with that. I was trying to make a point because I was attacked & told I needed to get a life for trying to help a loved one & he didn't even answer my question. He took time out of his life to be rude & try to make me feel bad. That is what I was saying. Still out of all of you... Only 1 person has actually tried to help me. The rest of you just want to attack me for no reason. This "greenie" thing I could really care less. I thought I would come on this site & find help & support... I guess not!

[JudyKayTee]

No one can make an adult "feel bad." If you take what I consider to be well-intended and well-deserved criticism from strangers so deeply to heart you have other issues.

I still don't understand how putting him away from parole violation would have helped him. Maybe nagging and begging for rehab didn't work. I have no idea.

I only know you lumped everyone on AMHD into one basket because YOU didn't like the answers you got.

Just out of curiosity, was your husband a druggie and whatever else when you had children with him or did that come later?

[xyz788205]

No one can make an adult "feel bad." If you take what I consider to be well-intended and well-deserved criticism from strangers so deeply to heart you have other issues.

I still don't understand how putting him away from parole violation would have helped him. Maybe nagging and begging for rehab didn't work. I have no idea.

I only know you lumped everyone on AMHD into one basket because YOU didn't like the answers you got.

Just out of curiosity, was your husband a druggie and whatever else when you had children with him or did that come later?

Wow. I don't understand how an adult cannot understand how a drug addict going to jail might help them. Its funny to me how every family member & friend we have thinks going back to jail is what he needs & you don't get it. And you are giving people advice? I didn't lump everyone on here into one basket. I was only talking about the few people who replied to me-out of all of you... only one person actually answered my question. I didn't ask for advice about having his parole violated, my marriage, parenting, or anything else you have been telling me. If you could not answer my question why didn't you just leave it alone. Sorry to tell you, my husband was NOT a druggie when we had a child so you can't throw that in my face.

[smoothy]

Um... did you bother to read the site rules you agreed to when you joined?

Particularly the part that says you don't get to pick who answers and what they answer?

Apparently not... you get the answers people with experience take the time out of their lives to give you... many of these people actually do have far more experience than you have . All of them have the right to offer their perspective... and no poster has the right to only get the answers the want to hear... which often are not the kind of answers they actually NEED to hear.

Everyone here is a volunteer... meaning we don't get paid to listen to people cop an attitude and dish out abuse when they don't get the answers they want to hear.

We aren't here to automatically agree with everyone.. we are here to offer up our objective opinions and answers to people... sometiomes they agree with them.. sometimes they don't.

[xyz788205]

Um.....did you bother to read the site rules you agreed to when you joined?

Particularly the part that says you don't get to pick who answers and what they answer?

Apparently not......you get the answers people with experience take the time out of their lives to give you....many of these people actually do have far more experience than you have . All of them have the right to offer their perspective...and no poster has the right to only get the answers the want to hear....which often are not the kind of answers they actually NEED to hear.

Everyone here is a volunteer...meaning we don't get paid to listen to people cop an attitude and dish out abuse when they don't get the answers they want to hear.

We aren't here to automatically agree with everyone..we are here to offer up our objective opinions and answers to people.....sometiomes they agree with them..sometimes they don't.

You people are CRAZY! I definitely am not the one who "copped an attitude"! I was attacked multiple times for no reason, I was merely defending myself. You said y'all are here to offer up objective opinions & answers... Does nobody understand that y'all are NOT ANSWERING MY QUESTION! It has nothing to do with me throwing a fit because I didn't get the answer I wanted. I did NOT get an answer to my question.
Is this a joke? Maybe the "far more experienced" people should be screened for common sense! I really don't get it!

[excon]

Hello again, x:

Its funny to me how every family member & friend we have thinks going back to jail is what he needs & you don't get it.

For ME, it was THIS attitude that got me started. Yes, I know it's popular, but it's WRONG. And, not just a little wrong. It's a whole lot WRONG. If you'd been a person who had little experience with the justice system, I would not have come down on you like I did.

Even now, after you agreed with me about that being the WRONG approach, you're still clinging to it.

Now, I'm not going to excuse my friends.. We've been here a long time together, and yes we get a bit anal at times. But, we volunteer, and we're right MOST of the time. When we don't agree, we yell at each other just like we yelled at you. It's NOT personal.

So, I'm going to close by saying that I have NO idea where your husband can go for help. That IS the MAJOR problem with the drug war. There's no place for people like you to turn to. So, I understand WHY you and your family and friends think PRISON is where to get help... But, I'm telling you for the last time, it isn't.

If you really want to help him, look elsewhere..

excon