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    animeluver06's Avatar
    animeluver06 Posts: 24, Reputation: 5
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    #1

    Mar 19, 2007, 06:29 PM
    Need opinion about my situation
    :confused: I dated a guy for a lil while (about 4-5 months). It was a kind of long distance relationship but I found out he was actually cheating on me towards the end. Right then I felt like someone had struck me straight in my gut and I already had the flu. Well we are talking again after having NC for a few months. Turns out him and that girl didnt work out. I still like him (and feel foolish for that because of what he did) and it seems like he still likes me too but he sends out sort of mixed signals. So I dont know if he is leading me on. Just trying to figure this out makes me feel confused. Can anybody help me out even just a little? :confused:
    Dreamer's Avatar
    Dreamer Posts: 76, Reputation: 13
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    #2

    Mar 19, 2007, 06:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by animeluver06
    :confused: I dated a guy for a lil while (about 4-5 months). It was a kind of long distance relationship but I found out he was actually cheating on me towards the end. Right then I felt like someone had struck me straight in my gut and I already had the flu. Well we are talking again after having NC for a few months. Turns out him and that girl didnt work out. I still like him (and feel foolish for that because of what he did) and it seems like he still likes me too but he sends out sort of mixed signals. So I dont know if he is leading me on. Just trying to figure this out makes me feel confused. Can anybody help me out even just a little? :confused:
    Stay far away from this guy. He is nothing but trouble and will only hurt you again. I know that's easier said than done, but you must consider what he has done and how that made you feel. Would you willingly put yourself in that position again? I'm guessing not.

    I am an optimist and do believe that people can change. However, I have seen the philosophy of "Once a cheater, always a cheater" to be true far too many times. There has to be a real change made in someone in order to overcome those temptations of walking outside their relationship. He obviously did not have enough respect for you to remain faithful, and you do NOT want to be with someone who doesn't respect you for who you are and enjoy every moment with you. There are plenty of guys out there who will do just that for you to be wasting your time with one who will not.

    My concern is that he's just lonely and has come back to you after his fling didn't work out because he figures you still care for him. So it was easy for him. I highly caution you against falling for his games. To me, that's exactly what it sounds like: mind games. Do you really want to play games? Be with someone who is serious about your relationship, not someone who takes you for granted. Relationships are tough enough without having trust issues, mind games, and manipulation involved. If he can't stay faithful to you for 4-5 months, he won't be able to stay faithful for the long haul. I'm guessing that's what you really want.

    Work on your self-confidence hun. Respect yourself. If and when you do, you'd never allow yourself to be with a man who doesn't respect you like you respect yourself. You deserve better! Do not compromise your heart and yourself for someone who is clearly not worth it. Sure, you can be friends... but if you stayed in contact, the temptation for you to jump back in to a relationship with him could be overwhelming. Sometimes to cut ties is the best idea, and I think it may be here. Really think about this one, OK?
    Parajr's Avatar
    Parajr Posts: 149, Reputation: 21
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    #3

    Mar 19, 2007, 06:54 PM
    They say that once the trust has been broken it can never be the same. You know what type of perseon you are. If you have the ability to truly forgive and move on then you could pursue this. If not don't waste your time.
    animeluver06's Avatar
    animeluver06 Posts: 24, Reputation: 5
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    #4

    Mar 23, 2007, 12:52 PM
    you are both right. Thank you for the wonderful advice. It helped a lot. If I do talk to him it will just be as friends, nothing else. Thank you both ^_^
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Mar 23, 2007, 01:29 PM
    Well if you want a cheating liar for a friend then that's up to you but doesn't sound like a wise decision at all. You will only be giving him a clear path back to your heart. The only reason you would consider friendship with this sap is because you want him back, so get real with yourself and think of you above him. Get this lying, cheating no good lousy dog out of your life or the heartbreak and fleas that comes will be on you.
    angleyez62's Avatar
    angleyez62 Posts: 10, Reputation: 0
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    #6

    Mar 23, 2007, 01:41 PM
    Everyone is right! Stay away because you will never feel a sense of security with him! You are better than that and no one needs to sit and wonder where there significant other is and whether he is with another girl or not! Move on:)

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