[Notsure1991]

Hey all,

I'm super confused at the moment.

I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 3 years and everything was great up until about a year ago. She started planning for Uni and has big plans with her life after Uni, we started discussing whether I could be apart of this in which I always said "its to far away to make a decision now"

So recently she moved about 2 hours away to attend Uni and after a few weeks of the similar conversations she has decided that she can't work out what her future holds and she wants some space and time without a me around to determine what she needs to do.

We got together when she was 17 so she says that she has no idea what life really is without a boyfriend and maybe needs to see what its like without me.

She promises me that she is still in love with me and bawled her eyes out during this conversation however she thought it needed to be done.

I told her I was deleting her number because I didn't know if I would resist contacting her which made her extremely upset.

Were two days into this 'break' and I don't know where to go from here...
Do I go out and live my life to the fullest?
Do I try to make contact with her at some stage to let her know I'm hurting?
Do I wait... and if so how long do I wait for?

Anybody who has been through something similar or can help would be much appreciated..

[teacherjenn4]

Do you have friends and family? Why do you need to have a plan for your entire future? Live your life, see your family and friends, go to work. Find a charity you can embrace and do volunteer work for them. Don't contact her. In time, you will have a full life, with or without her. In the future, never let someone completely overtake your life. It's not healthy.

[Jiser]

I lived in the states for a year. Quite a few others I knew had relationships ongoing throughout the year they lived in the states with people back in the U.K. I also knew people who had relationships throughout Uni.

Without honest communication together you will not work through your problems. Perhaps she is seeing what the single life holds away from you whilst she is at uni. That hurts yes but perhaps its now best to leave her to it.

Give her what she wants. Honestly go no contact because it will make it allot easier. Remove her from your phone, Facebook (if you can't do that remove her from your updates and chat), get on with your living your life. It will take a few months to get yourself back but when you do it will be great. I advise you plan to be busy and get socialising.

Get a life what she would want to be in. Be successful and be happy. Don't do that for her but for you. A breakup you can treat as a moping around time or you can use your breakup as a new lease of life to get out there and change things! Get out of your comfort zone etc...

Some days you will have to embrace your loneliness due to lack of cash or lack of friends but others get out there!

[talaniman]

Talaniman Rule- When you get dumped, disappear.

She is at a crossroads and has a new horizon to deal with and its best to let her do it, while you focus on your own life, and the crossroads you face. Time to do your own thing and let her do hers, and not bring the very unattractive trying to hold onto her by whatever you can think of, or confuse things so much by trying to change her mind that you become a pest and unattractive to her.

Go NO CONTACT, and build a life that you enjoy without her, and at least let her miss you on her own without your influence.